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    #1

    hey all

    How are all my MWO pals doing?

    I'm only existing to drink these days. I reek of booze at work and my general behavior is way, way out of control. I'm pushing everyone away with my wild ways. I haven't taken my anti depressants for around ten days and my mental health is awful. Getting all the old anxiety back! I am irrational with a raging temper one minute then crying the next. torturing myself with self loathing and petrified my hubby's going to leave me. Clock watching now so I can start on the cans. At crisis point I think.

    Stupid, stupid woman!
    The mind will intellectualize it, the heart will emotionalize it, yet the gut never lies.

    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9/girly-wirly-s-toolbox-2-45452.html
    Tags: None
    #2
    hey all

    Hi girly, why did you quit the meds?

    Comment

      #3
      hey all

      I should have said... I was too drunk to remember to take them.
      The mind will intellectualize it, the heart will emotionalize it, yet the gut never lies.

      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9/girly-wirly-s-toolbox-2-45452.html

      Comment

        #4
        hey all

        Oh dear hun i hope you can find some way to get better and quit you sound so sad and miserable. Is booze worth all this? Perhaps try to taper down and go to your dr or someone for help. Stick around here of coarse and try put down the demon drink. :l

        Comment

          #5
          hey all

          What can you do now, at this moment to help yourself? Can you take a large glass of water and those precious pills; just for today? Don't look at the big picture Girly, just stay in the moment and slowly climb out of your hellish life. I know it seems overwhelming but your life is in your hands...

          Sending calming vibes your way.

          xx
          Tipplerette

          I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

          "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
          ? Lao-Tzu

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            #6
            hey all

            Tipplerette the pills comatose me. Its an awful feeling so I take them at bedtime. I've been so drunk that I've just crashed each night.
            The mind will intellectualize it, the heart will emotionalize it, yet the gut never lies.

            https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9/girly-wirly-s-toolbox-2-45452.html

            Comment

              #7
              hey all

              Sending thoughts of strength to you Girly. Life is better without the booze. It just takes one day to start. We are here for you. Please try to get some help. It is just not worth it. (((((you))))))

              Love Waggy
              February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

              When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!

              Comment

                #8
                hey all

                Oh Girly
                I am so sad for you
                YOu are playing a dangerous game here with your meds
                You know you are in trouble, so you reached out
                What can we do to help?
                I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                Live in the Solution....not the problem

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                  #9
                  hey all

                  Thanks wag
                  The mind will intellectualize it, the heart will emotionalize it, yet the gut never lies.

                  https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9/girly-wirly-s-toolbox-2-45452.html

                  Comment

                    #10
                    hey all

                    Maybe you take a different med? I had to try three or four before I found the right one
                    I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                    Live in the Solution....not the problem

                    Comment

                      #11
                      hey all

                      Girly, we have been there and we are with you now. Let us help you. Can you get in to see your doctor today?

                      If you can safely do so, please get rid of any alcohol in your house now. Drink some water and go rest - chill out with some snacks and a movie you love. Do whatever you need to do in order to not drink today. Go for a walk, go shopping, etc. I know depression makes you not want to do anything, but simply sitting outside can make a difference. Tonight, take your meds before bed. Big hugs for you. :hug:

                      Your depression will get better when you stop drinking - I know this from experience. It doesn't go away, but it does get better.
                      Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        hey all

                        Thankyou. Im pretty sure i found the right meds as i have been fine for months. its the fact I haven't took it that's the problem. I don't feel as lost as I did earlier. I have to stop this I know or Im going to be sacked and lose my family. My behaviour is atrocious at the moment and that's without the drinking. Im an absolute disgrace. I will take the meds tonight if it kills me. just having folk to vent to is helping.
                        The mind will intellectualize it, the heart will emotionalize it, yet the gut never lies.

                        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9/girly-wirly-s-toolbox-2-45452.html

                        Comment

                          #13
                          hey all

                          girly, trust us we all understand and have done very similar things. Keep reading this as the support here is tremendous as I found out and it has made all the difference to my life.
                          FT
                          AF with a few speed bumps during 2014 & 2015 but will succeed.
                          As of 4/12/2014 I have not smoked at all and feel great.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            hey all

                            Hi Sweet Girly,

                            It sounds like its the Self Loathing which is taking you down these days. For me , no question that my personal AM K-FKD Radio Staion playing in my head everyday is my bloodiest battle in this war.

                            I think you've been struggling for a bit as i was reading your posts. Did you get into therapy OK? I think you live in England and I mean there is a waiting list with the NHS. How are your mom and sister helping. They seemed really supportive in some of your posts.

                            I know it's so tough to let go of being self destructive: I'm living proof of this!

                            Please try to look at your old posts and see al the positive moves you are making - and YES you are making positive strives here Just BEING here is huge. It's so easy to slip back into oblivion but you are still hard at at!

                            And that helps all of us, especiially me. :l

                            So you know the routine, lots and lots of water, take those mess , stock up on lemon and Supps and crucial here, make sure Netflix is working...:l
                            On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                            *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                            https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                            https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

                            Comment

                              #15
                              hey all

                              My relationship with my sister has broken down beyond repair which escalated my drinking. I don't see my mum much as she lives in Spain. all contributing factors x Thankyou for the kind words. I haven't caved in yet x
                              The mind will intellectualize it, the heart will emotionalize it, yet the gut never lies.

                              https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9/girly-wirly-s-toolbox-2-45452.html

                              Comment

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