what finally made your quit stick?

[Mr Vervill]

Maybe some help here, Camryn? Wishing you the best.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/just-starting-out-/81176-perfect-day-1-a.html

[paulywogg]

Re: what finally made your quit stick?

Shit,don't know if any quit I make is gonna stick! I'm irritated with myself, I didn't reach out,my emergency craving busters worked however I talked myself into drinkin yet again, I care but I don't care if it makes sense,you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink bottom line,guess I just wanted to drink today I figured I'd post it here rather than bug anyone on my regular threads,maybe there's something on NY mind that's bugging me, I know I'm a bit sad that Kell was supposed to be having her baby this month on the 28th, I know my tax situation will be a wreck,I know I have empty-ish nest syndrome,I know I'm hormonal ,I know my job sux in a way,my hubs seems depressed,uuuuggghhh! Today I just didn't give a hoot.

[abcowboy]

You can do this Pauly, learn and move on. There's only one way you end your tries at quitting and I'm sure you'll have more than a few years of sobriety before that day comes...:hug:

[Wildflowers]

Re: what finally made your quit stick?

I'm sorry Pauly!... :hug: You do care or you wouldn't be here. Concur about having to want this more then the drink. Really do understand about the feck it's. Depression and not caring. And slips and relapses, etc. How can we help you? :hug: What will it take to understand that alcohol is poison, it's only a temporary escape? Do understand that at times even for a moment, this appeal, appears to be worth it. Yet, we all know its a lie. When NS spoke of she just got tired of lying to her self, this was a light bulb moment.

We need to find other ways of self comfort and soothing life's sadness. Life's realities. At some point we need to understand and accept the responsibility that alcohol is no reward or escape from life. Not for the alcoholic any way. You seem to realise that your not taking action when tempted. As Mario said temptation is all around us and most will feel tempted. None of us are safe from temptation!.. We must not harbour these temptations in our minds. We must dissociate our selves from these thoughts immediately. Do not let these thoughts grow.

Just allowing myself to feel uncomfortable, sad, angry, and every other human emotion is OK. Feelings of being helpless, and having no control over many of life's circumstances is OK. It's not OK to continue punishing myself for things I have no control over. Accepting these as a pathway to peace.

If you still have alcohol in house, please dump rest out. Yell at it it. It's not your friend. It's not going to comfort you. It's your enemy. It wants to hurt and destroy you and your beautiful family. You can do this Pauly!.. I-we know you can. :heartbeat:

[paulywogg]

Re: what finally made your quit stick?

WF,that was a beautiful post I care.. I do, just for some reason not today,why am I even browsing on here I look like an idiot who just wants to drink,grrrr

[satz123]

Re: what finally made your quit stick?

WF,that was a beautiful post I care.. I do, just for some reason not today,why am I even browsing on here I look like an idiot who just wants to drink,grrrr

:hug: - today is gone Pauly. As Taylor Swift would say : 'Shake it off'
and move forward.

[paulywogg]

Re: what finally made your quit stick?

Thank you Satz I need to come up with a better plan cuz I know I'm better than this! I gotta let stuff go,I'm so embarrassed and why am I still lurking? Cuz hubs thinks "its no big deal,cut loose just don't get weird" kids.."smoke some weed its better for you" my real life sucks and I feel alone.

[Lost Soul]

Re: what finally made your quit stick?

Hey Pauly, so sorry you drank You are neither the first nor the last person to post if you had a drink. It is really hard if you don't feel supported in RL with your AF choice because it makes you feel more isolated I think
You are absolutely right, you do deserve better than AL offers because you are awesome!
No one chooses to be an alcoholic any more than they choose to have diabetes, so I think for me acknowledging all that you are feeling & understanding it is not your fault makes forgiveness alot easier. Be kind to yourself as it is a very hard journey and we are here for you x
Take care
LS

[Wildflowers]

Re: what finally made your quit stick?

Thank you Satz I need to come up with a better plan cuz I know I'm better than this! I gotta let stuff go,I'm so embarrassed and why am I still lurking? Cuz hubs thinks "its no big deal,cut loose just don't get weird" kids.."smoke some weed its better for you" my real life sucks and I feel alone.

One part of my plan is praticing gratitude everyday. Flipping my thoughts around. Accepting bad days. Bad-sad, angry feelings, etc... Recently, thought of a drink to ease my physical pain. Flipped this into knowing it would be temporary and end result would be more pain. Accepting at times that its natural for my alkie mind to think a drink will fix this or that. But, knowing the truth of where that will lead, is one tool of accepting reality. Life will still be waiting. If I do pick up it will make my cravings ten times worse.

Being alone and feeling alone is a trigger for many. Can you call, text someone before you drink? Come on here and post right away. Pet your doggie. Hug your grandson. You aren't alone in this battle. One day the battle will be less in your face. You will grow and learn. You are already a success in my mind.

Yes you are right, you are better then this. You know this. Knowing this, is the beginning of growth in seeing how really awesome you are. We see it in you Pauly. We all understand the embarrassment. Hug yourself for having the courage to be honest, for your humanness. :hug: Your life doesn't suck!... You are a wonderful Mom, wifey, nana, pet parent, friend, employee, etc..... You aren't alone. You have us and others!...

Maybe your hubs is unaware of times you were weird or out of control while under the influence. Mine used to be that way, but not for a long time. My kids to have said just smoke weed Mom. That's another topic I may visit later. Must hobble along and cook what I was suppose to yesterday. Read Steppers and will try to get over there soon.

Please be kind to self... We only have today... Tomorrow will be here soon. Like Satz said shrug it off and keep going!... Think you will, as your a fighter who won't give up!... :heartbeat:

[ssd858]

Re: what finally made your quit stick?

Hi Pauly. I have to tell you that I truly admire you. I remember you from Nov. 2015 when I first attempted to quit. You logged on regularly and voiced your angst and happiness with full force. Yes, you had a lot of bad days when you would drink. But here you still are! With so many a-free days this past year.
You do not disappear when you fall, you come here, confess and beat yourself up and then you start again. I wish you were not so hard on yourself, but I know that is part of the cylce of this disease. Please try to be kinder to yourself and to see all of the days afree this past as a major achievement!
You will get there! Hugs to you!

[actiongirl46]

Re: what finally made your quit stick?

Hi pauly - I hope you are well . . . I don't have anything to offer on your thread topic, just haven't discovered anything to make it stick more than 40 days, but I'm working on it!!

So . . . that is so much less than what you have done and will continue to do. You are such an inspiration to me! Come back here soon and take on your leadership/mentor role. We need you!

Peace and strength - AG

[lifechange]

Re: what finally made your quit stick?

Pauly! I agree with the others.. to try not to beat yourself up, forget the would have, should haves for the moment and concentrate on today. You are such an important part of the community here, supporting others, sharing with honesty.. you are doing the work. You are worth it. You are learning through your "mistakes".. you're not giving up, you're building your road to a sober and happier life. We all know what a bumpy road it can be.. but you are a strong human being and you will succeed..:hug:

[dill]

Re: what finally made your quit stick?

I know it is hard [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION] but shake it off and get back here! You can do it. As Cyntree would say, "To the light!"

[Lizann]

Re: what finally made your quit stick?

:hug: totally understand Pauly! Love you! Just pick yourself up and keep going. Think of sobriety as a journey rather than a destination

[Wildflowers]

Re: what finally made your quit stick?

so to the well meaning folks who tell you to 'pick yourself up and get back on the wagon' as if it is 'just a slip and it doesn't mean anything' -- omg Pauly -- it does -- and when you truly know what you've done to yourself when you pick up that glass -- THAT'S when your quit will stick...
all this is said with true care Pauly -- I don't want to hurt you - but neither do I want you to be lulled by 'kind' words -- addiction isn't kind and kindness won't keep us sober xxx

I tend to agree with Moller's. It's a process. Think this is the last phase, when it will stick. When we truly know, deep down, realize, believe what we've done to ourselves by picking up that first drink.

Think it was K-9 who use to say no one is grateful the day after drinking. Yet, we've all experienced it. We all understand the painful emotions, physical illnesses, soul crushing feeling that alcohol produces in us. We all need each other to conquer this beast. A better life awaits us all, without the poison. Not perfect, but far better. We-you know this is true.

MWO is like your second family. :heartbeat: Please come home. We don't shoot our wounded. We all help each other get back on the road to health. :hug: Please come home hun. Keep talking. This disease enjoys isolation. Give it a kick in the hiney.