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    Here we go again...

    Hi All

    I used to drink waaay too much and it affected every aspect of my life. With a lot of intervention, effort and support I managed to change that. I think it might be almost two years now since I?ve had any cause for concern or craving that I couldn?t turn away from? until now. Here I am back again, hoping to reach out to a place I know is safe and ask for help.
    I won?t ramble on but suffice it to say that life has thrown me a curve ball. An unpleasant life event has occurred and what do you think was there to just waiting?..Al. The urge to drink is back with an unprecedented force and I haven?t been able to stop it. You know? you can fall off the wagon once or twice and chalk it up to experience but given that I am here alone here with a 25 year history of binge drinking, I?m don?t feel prepared to fight it.
    I think I just need to vent and hear from others. Make contact with people who can relate and maybe get some sort of perspective. It makes logical sense to me that if I can kick it once, I should do be able to do it again but this time feels particularly ominous, like being drawn towards the edge of a cliff.
    Any advice would be very much appreciated.
    Don't tell me it can't be done until I'm finished doing it.

    #2
    Here we go again...

    Hi there Shanny! It sounds like you haven't caved in yet, is that right? MWO is a great place to get what you are looking for, as I'm sure you know. Welcome back. Settle in with us for as long as you need.
    Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

    Comment


      #3
      Here we go again...

      Hi Shanny,

      Welcome back. I would just read voraciously and post as much as you can. Lots of tips in the Toolbox about nutrition, hydration, riding out cravings, what to do instead of drinking, etc.

      The Nest under Just Starting Out and the daily and Monthly AB threads are all good.

      Best to you,

      UN

      Comment


        #4
        Here we go again...

        Take the tools that you used in the past and reuse them. I am still on guard even after 2 years because I know my AL mind is still lurking waiting to pounce. Hang in there. The craving will go away. If you drink now, you will have to go back to day 1 and after two years, it will take another 2 years to get back to being 2 years af again. Take it ODAAT! Hang in there.
        I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

        Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

        Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

        Comment


          #5
          Here we go again...

          Hi Shanny, just checking to see how you are doing.
          Free at Last
          "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

          Highly recommend this video
          http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

          July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

          Comment


            #6
            Here we go again...

            Yes, I have caved in twice this week unfortunately Given the fact that it takes me days to recover, that means I haven't been out of the house or even out of bed much at all in the last week. It seems to take longer and longer to recover as I get older (I'm 43 now). I really hate feeling this way, mentally as well as physically. It amazing to me how the habit to drink is always right there, lurking in the shadows just waiting for an opportunity. I hadn't even though of a drink for so long. Doesn't seem fair. Anyways, Thank you so much for your posts of support and encouragement. It will be ODAAT for a while now.
            Don't tell me it can't be done until I'm finished doing it.

            Comment


              #7
              Here we go again...

              Shanny.....it is not unfair, it is biochemistry. Like you I fear I may want to test it out at some point ......which is why I stay here at MWO.

              Those brain receptors for alcohol don't go, in fact they increase in numbers after you quit.

              Biochemically you will have to wait for the mind chatter to stop again BUT you have the memory if being AF to sustain you through the hard bit at the beginning.

              Dedicate a lot of time here for a bit......you will soon be back to your old self.

              Comment


                #8
                Here we go again...

                Where is the toolbox? I can't remember where to find it?
                Don't tell me it can't be done until I'm finished doing it.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Here we go again...

                  hi shanny welcome back. You say u have 25yrs of binge drinking. my partner the other day was saying how his been going aa for 20yrs theres been ppl in there tht his seen tht got 20yrs sobriety. He may not have 20yrs sobriety and has had relaspes and probably dnt have another relaspe and has been to many funerals. But tht 20yrs in his life his been living it on earth not a lot can say tht if ur alcohol, i can say it and you can. Hope tht makes sense. Try and get as much help as u can. keep strong, yesterday morning i had to have breakfast with the homeless and i have not pick up. if i can do it you can.
                  p.s is tht ur dog ? looks like my dog :-)
                  catch22 x
                  Formerly known as Teardrop:l
                  sober dry since 11th Jan '2010' relapse/slip on 23/7/13 working in progress ! Sober date 25/7/13 ( True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer. (AA)
                  my desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful then my desire to drink !

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