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    #1

    Inspiration needed please

    Hi everyone,

    I'd like some advice about what to say to my niece who's struggling with addiction (heroin/methadone). She's just gone into a detox centre and is due to go into rehab after that. She's done this voluntarily so she's hopefully got to a point where she wants to stop.

    She's been living chaotically for a couple of years, her boyfriend (possibly ex boyfriend, not sure) is a dealer, they were made homeless etc etc.

    She's just turned 30 and she's a lovely woman.

    So, I want to write to her at the detox place and would like some thoughts about what to say. Do I talk about my own addiction and things that have helped me? I assume she'll be given info about the various addiction services that are available anyway.
    Any ideas anyone?
    Thanks!
    sigpic
    AF since December 22nd 2008
    Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman
    Tags: None
    #2
    Inspiration needed please

    I think you should share your story and let her know you understand the struggle and you understand.
    I think that will touch and inspire her.
    I love my family more than alcohol.:h
    Live in the Solution....not the problem

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      #3
      Inspiration needed please

      Marshy, I agree with Mama. I also find reading books by people who have overcome addiction is really helpful. I find comfort in knowing I'm not alone!!

      Comment

        #4
        Inspiration needed please

        Hi Marshy,
        I wrote to a couple of people I was in de-tox with who went on to re-hab. I realised the first couple of weeks were going to be pretty intensive so I kept I kept it rather general. How's the food, how's the staff, how are the other people, what treatments etc.

        I just wanted to keep lines of communications open, once that was done we could get to down to how we were all faring.

        I know when Molls was in re-hab I sent a wee card just to let her know I was going to be here for her when she came out.

        I think what I'm trying to say let her know of your addiction but let her lead the way.

        Hope that helps and wishing your niece the best.
        It could be worse, I could be filing.
        AF since 7/7/2009

        Comment

          #5
          Inspiration needed please

          Hi Marshy. I agree. I think hearing from peopel who know what you are going through is the best. But mention your struggles in general... Like just mention that you know what she is going through... then let her ask you more from there. I posted a link to an article by Russell Brand... The actor comedian. Who's been clean from Heroin for ten years. Maybe she would find that as excellent as i did in understanding that she will always feel like that fix... But with the correct support, plan etc she can stay sober. I'll try find the link i posted or maybe someone else will post it!
          The mindset of an addict is trenchant in its very nature

          Comment

            #6
            Inspiration needed please

            here is the link to the article. Its brilliant.

            Russell Brand: My life without drugs | Culture | The Guardian
            The mindset of an addict is trenchant in its very nature

            Comment

              #7
              Inspiration needed please

              Just like what evry1 else said, it good tht she got some1 like you marshy tht will understand. What she is going through. Knowning tht u will be there for support is a great help ,That she not on her own
              when the time comes when she ready to go home. X
              Formerly known as Teardrop:l
              sober dry since 11th Jan '2010' relapse/slip on 23/7/13 working in progress ! Sober date 25/7/13 ( True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer. (AA)
              my desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful then my desire to drink !

              Comment

                #8
                Inspiration needed please

                Thanks everyone - I knew this would be a good place to ask!

                I think I'll probably keep it fairly general, like JackieClaire says, but add a reference to my own addiction and see if she then wants to know more. Mamabear, Unwasted, HTBTB and Catch: I agree about it being helpful to hear other people's stories, and I'll mention it so she knows we can talk about it later if she wants to. I'm a bit reluctant to load her up her with information when she's embarking on treatment but I do want her to know that I understand (to a certain extent).

                Chiller Miller - thanks for that link, I'll have a look when I get home. She's not allowed phone/computer/visitors at the moment but I'll keep in in mind for later.
                sigpic
                AF since December 22nd 2008
                Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

                Comment

                  #9
                  Inspiration needed please

                  Chiller...that link made me get misty...seriously
                  Good Luck Marsy. Thank Heavens you are sober and able to be there for her......I cannot imagine detoxing from heroin. That scares the crap out of me
                  I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                  Live in the Solution....not the problem

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Inspiration needed please

                    Marshy, that sounds like a good idea to me - to let her know you're there and give her an idea of your ability to understand on a little deeper level. Probably the most important thing she needs to have right now is the knowledge of your support.
                    sigpic
                    Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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                      #11
                      Inspiration needed please

                      Thanks Greenie. Knowledge of support is indeed a good thing.
                      Well, I wrote a draft letter and read it to my girlfriend last night, and she took a few bits out that she thought might backfire. Eg, I'd put that I thought it was great my niece was "trying hard" but my girlfriend said if she was having a bad day and wasn't trying particularly hard that day she might feel some implied criticism. Tricky to try to say the right thing!
                      I mentioned my struggle to stop drinking so she knows I have some understanding of what she's going through so hopefully she knows she can talk to me if she wants to.
                      Thanks all!
                      sigpic
                      AF since December 22nd 2008
                      Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Inspiration needed please

                        It is tricky. It's not an easy thing for words to be void of anything that could be construed as judgement of any kind. And you know how we can think up stuff and twist things around when we're feeling less than positive.
                        sigpic
                        Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Inspiration needed please

                          just knowing she has an aunt who has struggled with addiction and who is willing to reach out to her is going to be a tremendous support. she might not be ready to grab on, but she'll know you are there, and that is an important thing. good for you.
                          10-06-2012

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Inspiration needed please

                            bettygirl;1516638 wrote: she might not be ready to grab on
                            And so it turns out. Just got a text from my brother saying she's walked out of the detox centre and won't be going through with any treatment programme. Things don't look good.
                            sigpic
                            AF since December 22nd 2008
                            Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Inspiration needed please

                              I'm sorry to hear that, Marshy.
                              It could be worse, I could be filing.
                              AF since 7/7/2009

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