Well, I let it get out of control

[morrison]

Hey. Been ages since I've been on here. I used to be a regular. Long story short. I got about 4 years sober. Then, a few months back, I started to slip here and there. Stress, anxiety, whatever, I started to get home from work Friday and right after dinner, start drinking beer.

Fast forward a few months, and now I'm back to waking up in the AM and starting to pound them down just to avoid the shakes.

It's crazy how this stuff creeps up on you. I do know I was thinking a lot about death, and how pointless things are, so relapsing was the least of my concerns.

Now, I know, thinking about it, that those thoughts are what got me in trouble in the first place. I was/am on medication for mood swings, but I feel that maybe over time, they just lost there efficacy?

Anyway, I never thought I'd relapse. To all my peers out there, always, always look out for the warning signs. Even if you have YEARS of sobriety. Now I gotta start back at day 1.

Peace.

[Guitarista]

Well, I let it get out of control

Hi Morrison,

Sorry to hear this, but great to see you are back and tackling it. I am walking right beside you.

Best wishes on your journey friend.

[blondie]

Well, I let it get out of control

Morrison

I am so sorry to hear of your struggles again, particularly after such a long stint of sobriety. I'm glad you're back here to work on this and get back into it. I can imagine after that length of time sober, I'd feel as though I'd have beaten it, so a lesson there. (sorry it's at your expense :l)

Look forward to reading of your successes from now on. :l

[JackDanielsGirl]

Well, I let it get out of control

Morrison

I congratulate you for your years of sobriety. if you did it once you can do it again. yes it sucks to have to start over, I know all to well. Never made it more that 6 months and that was in rehab.

hang tight my friend, this too shall pass and you will feel start to feel better real soon.

Prayers for you
JDG

[Live_Love_Learn]

Well, I let it get out of control

Hi Morrison, congratulations on your 4 years and you can get through this rough patch!! You've come to the right place!
I can't wait to get to know you better, you are an inspiration because you are back ready to fight, I hope you hang around xo

[Cinders]

Well, I let it get out of control

Morrison,

Hi!! I don't know if you remember me but I watched you go through such rough times getting sober and then WHAM, you did it. You moved away from Vegas and started life up again.

While I am very sad that you relapsed, I am also very grateful that you made it back to here and thinking about being sober again. You might not have made it back. I am glad you did. :l

I started taking Antabuse again and am finally almost 90 days sober. This is a first for me in 32+ years.

I recall you took Antabuse for a while. Do you think that might help?

Also, regarding the severe depression, I well remember how that has always been a big issue for you. Please go to a good psychiatrist and work on that, too. Between the depression and drinking, you have a lot to contend with. Take them both on.

I hope you continue to post here. Det usually posts on the AF Daily thread and I know he will be glad to hear from you, too.

You know the drill on quitting. If you experience DTs, etc, get your butt to a doctor and get some Librium or Ativan, etc, to get through. But don't drink while taking them. If necessary, check into ER for a dry out. Do this safely my friend and please let us know how you are doing.

You are one of my favorites on MWO.

Love,
Cindi

[Byrdlady]

Well, I let it get out of control

These are the stories that keep me glued in to this place!
Today is a new day! We are all here with you and on the same journey. Welcome back! Byrdie

[Zenstyle]

Well, I let it get out of control

Hi Morrison!

It's good to "see" you again but I'm sorry about the circumstances. Although, like Cindi says, you've made it back here and that's a good thing. :l

I don't go into chat any more but feel free to PM me if you want.

You've done this once before and you'll do it again. You know the drill so no point in saying much more... just that it's good to see you and glad you're getting back on the wagon. XXX

[Wagoneer]

Well, I let it get out of control

Hi Morrison - welcome home. You did it before, you can do it again. Depression and drinking together are the sneakiest bastards. Got the best of me after 11 months sober. Only just over 3 months sober and it was the hardest time ever. So much better now. You can do this. Glad to see you made your way back.

Waggy

[YouKayBee]

Well, I let it get out of control

Morrison I don't remember you, must have missed you somewhere but I find your post very moving and am glad you are back here.

I'm wondering did you stop looking after yourself?how was your diet when you started to slip?

[hart]

Well, I let it get out of control

Hey Morrison. I remember you hon. Im sorry you are back because you faltered, but that's all it is hon, a faltering, you can do get sober again.

[bettygirl]

Well, I let it get out of control

that first one is a killer.
welcome back and stay vigilant!

hugs

[morrison]

Well, I let it get out of control

Thanks to everybody that has replied. I guess I need some support group. I have a ton spinning in my brain right now, but over time, I can probably give a breakdown of what happened.

I will take the time to answer one question because I do feel it was the achilles heel in everything. I did stop taking care of my body. I suffered a shoulder injury, and long story short, it made me miserable for some time. They didn't want to operate, just give me shots. They didn't help. I woke in pain all the time, screwing up my sleep. I couldn't play catch with my 7 tear old nephew it was that bad.

Anyway, I know it's not cancer or something awful, but what happened was, well, I think, the combination of all of life's stress, coupled with pain, sleeplessness, getting fat, etc. I just got so facking angry. However, I needed this good binge to remind me, I haven't changed. I can't drink. AT all. I'll keep posting. Thanks everybody. Peace.

[Determinator]

Well, I let it get out of control

Homeslice! so sorry you're hurting but it's great to see you again. I'll PM you my cell. there is light at the end of this tunnel brother.

[YouKayBee]

Well, I let it get out of control

The shots weren't an opiate based painkiller were they?Reason I ask is that sometimes having another mind altering drug in the system can bring you back to alcohol, but can understand how the pain and being p!ssed off would also bring you back anyway.