Why is this so hard?

[Guest]

Why is this so hard?

Very true about the closed doors.. Ted Bundy was always thought of as normal; "he was such a nice guy"...

I did have a great day with my baby girl. We bought some flowers and went to the pastry shops and I have been cleaning like crazy and catching up on laundry (oh the fun!!!) Tomorrow I am heading to Paris to shop with a girlfriend of mine, so that will take up the whole day which is great. Paris and babies; too much to shop for!

Theo - Won't be diving here. Not till I get back home and god knows when that will be. All my gear is in storage, in NA! Plus, I don't have a babysitter anyway. Once we get home we will be picking it up again. I do really miss watching the sealife on the ocean floor and the sun shining through the water; so beautiful and peaceful.

Thanks everyone for all the support; I'm feeling kind of low today. Between my hunny gone and trying to quit I feel a lull today.

[Hawk]

Why is this so hard?

Hi GC -

I know what you mean when you look around at others and say Why Me? I do the same thing. How I'd love to have A glass of wine and call it a night. It frustrates me. But I don't know the answer and getting mad about it hasn't done me any good either! Habit more than anything is what allowed wine to take over for me and now I am trying to break that habit. Its not easy but it is worth it. You are worth it. Keep at it friend!

[rudemama]

Why is this so hard?

Hang in there GG, I too feel low today. I was sick yesterday and am overwhelmed at work, plus my radiator went in my car.......ahhhhhhhh:upset: I have to drive around for my job so i can't meet the expectations of my boss fuk it I will just carry on and breathe, which is hard because I am congested. I will think of Paris in Spring and shopping Rudemama

[Arial]

Why is this so hard?

Hi GG -

Never been shopping in Paris, though it's only 4 hours away by train - must add it to my 'list of things to do now I'm sober'! (it's getting longer and longer!)

You're lucky you're facing this while you're daughter's still young - mine is about to leave home and I'm desperately trying to catch up and make up for lost time - I think of all the memories I've missed out on by allowing drink to take over. I know you can't live with regret, but my god I wish I'd done it differently. So stick with it, get through this lull and relish all the wonderful memories you will have with your family as your daughter grows up!

They do do scuba diving here but I think they practise in an old quarry - it hasn't inspired me yet to start diving again - I think I'll find something on top of the water for a while!

Hang in there - you too, Rudemama, hope things are looking brighter soon. Don't forget, if you want to see the rainbow you've got to get through the rain...

Take care,

[DidItForMe]

Why is this so hard?

I don't really have anything to add. I just want to say "thank you" to you all for being so honest. We all have feelings of being lonely and isolated no matter who we are or where we are. Yet, when I read through this thread it made me feel a bit better. Not because you are all hurting a bit too, but because I just feel a bit LESS lonely and isolated. And that does help. You are all wonderful and beautiful people!!!!!

[phelen]

Why is this so hard?

Julie,
I'm new here, but your description of being in control for 20's and some of 30's is my story too. Since having 2 little ones, my drinking has become the norm and less control all the time. Just ordered Topomax and have started Yoga a few times a week. Need to get back to the pre-drinking days! Let's hope there is a way back!

[Guest]

Why is this so hard?

GG, I have asked myself the same quetion. Why me? Why do I have this affliction and noone else does. It hit me everyone has something it's just that some are more obvious than others. If you were to meet me, you would never know. Well done hair and makeup. Wonderful clothes and shoes. the picture of confidence. Inside I'm a mess wondering if I look full of myself. Feeling stupid that people don't get me & they look at me with the where the hell did she come from look. Don't be so hard on yourself. Nothing is ever as it seems
Smiles
Mary

[southernbelle47]

Why is this so hard?

Hi girls,

I've read through this thread and thought...."that was me years ago"...
I'm now on the other side of motherhood.....son 40 , daughter 36 and son 29... Grand kids are the reward for hanging in the marriage and being the Mom for so long.

It is the hardest job, isn't it? The hours are 24/7 and you get paid off in messy kisses and complaints.

It is also the most rewarding job ever......

You are the only one qualified to do it for your kid........

Find something you love to do like paint, garden , read good books (not trash sex novels) or take a class at a local school or business. Take a bible study class at a church. (I did...great support there...."Breaking Free" by Beth Moore)Take a cooking class or become a master gardener.

The happiest women I know have done things like that to feed their souls. Some take part time jobs when the kids are in school or do volunteer work at their child's school. (my daughter subs and works at hers)

Fill you time with happy people and fun things.
When your over the Mom hump like me, you'll have many happy memories of raising you kids .

Slay the "wine demon" now..........
He will come back to bite you!

Just my thoughts..
:h You all..Nancy
PM me if you want to know more.

[Arial]

Why is this so hard?

long, but a hint of what's at risk...

Hi all,

Reading your post, Southernbelle, reminded me of something a friend sent - I'm not sure it goes with the beginning of this thread, but as we've got onto children and motherhood, here goes... enjoy! (sorry it's rather long - easy, fun reading, though!)

The Price of Children

This is just too good not to pass on to all. Something absolutely positive for a change. I have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It's nice.

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition.

But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into:

* $8,896.66 a year,

* $741.38 a month, or

* $171.08 a week.

* That's a mere $24.24 a day!

* Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice is don't have children if you want to be "rich." Actually, it is just the opposite. What do you get for your $160,140?

* Naming rights. First, middle, and last!

* Glimpses of God every day.

* Giggles under the covers every night.

* More love than your heart can hold.

* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.

* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.

* A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate.

* A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites

* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to:

* finger-paint,

* carve pumpkins,

* play hide-and-seek,

* catch lightning bugs, and

* never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to:

* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,

* watching Saturday morning cartoons,

* going to Disney movies, and

* wishing on stars.

* You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay or Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:

* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,

* taking the training wheels off a bike,

* removing a splinter,

* filling a wading pool,

* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat to history to witness the:

* first step,

* first word,

* first bra,

* first date, and

* first time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, So . One day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!!!!!!!

Love & enjoy your children & grandchildren! !!!!!!

[Guest]

Why is this so hard?

That is just the sweetest thing EVER!!!! I love my daughter so much that my heart aches when I look at her. Even when she kisses me with a snotty nose and sticky stuff all over her chubby little fingers (which knot my hair) there is nothing better. I am going to copy and save this. Thank you Arial!!! BTW...her favorite Disney girl is Arial.

[southernbelle47]

Why is this so hard?

Yes! I am rich!
Thanks for sharing that!
Love it!
Nancy

[Guest]

Why is this so hard?

GG,
Your feelings are normal..at lest for those of us here. Loneliness will make you drink. I have drnk more in the past year than my whole life together. It sucks! keep trying...it is all we can do.

[Happier]

Why is this so hard?

GG, all those questions you asked yourself I have asked myself. But then I started to wonder what is suppose to be normal anyway.

Since I found this program and this site I am so comforted that I am not alone.
I am confident that alcohol isn't going to rule my life anymore.

Give your daughter lots of hugs and kisses!

[journey04]

Why is this so hard?

Hi GG,

Boy, could I have written your post! I have young kids too, and I worry so much that I am affecting their childhood (and beyond). But on the other hand, I get the "addiction talk" that tells me that a few won't hurt, and everyone else is doing it. Our family moved from one state to another here in the US last year. We are still getting to know other families and people in our new town. I am joining a book club (first meeting tomorrow) and going to a jewelry-sales show at another woman's house on Thursday p.m. Both nights I know will revolve around drinking. I have a plan for tomorrow - I have to leave early for a late work meeting so can't drink. And I need to come up with one for Thurs. The problem is that I'll have a few at the party and then want to come home and finish the job, so to speak, until I sleep on the couch. Ugh. Who knows what the other moms/women at the parties are doing?

It is so hard!! Why can't it be easier? Like you, I wonder when it changed over from an occasional "ladies night out" a few times a year, to benders by myself every month.

Glad to get to know you a bit!

Journey

[gabby]

Why is this so hard?

How do we know they are normal? They might be thinkin the same thing about us.