hi

[beau]

hi there i haven't been on this forum before..so im not sure how this works. what im sure of is that i have a huge drinking program and need some help.... anyone else in the same shoes?

[Cinders]

hi

Beau,
:welcome:

Yep, most here have the same problem and are working to make it better.

Do you have any idea what you want to achieve? Can you tell us a little bit more about yourself?

Cindi

[beau]

hi

well ive been struggling with addiction in general since i was very young. im in my 20s now. i feel and see that its absolutely spiralling out of control. I'm on the verge of loosing my spouse. i keep thinking i can control it but i obiously can't. just dont know what to do anymore.

[Byrdlady]

hi

Hey Beau! I just checked the home page here, and we've had almost 3,800 VISITORS in the last 24 hours, so you are FAR from alone!! You have made a very important first step by joining the forum. This place isn't the easiest to navigate, just keep playing with it and you will learn your way.

2 great places to start are the Newbie's Nest and the Tool Box, links to both are in my signature line below. NN has folks in all stages of quitting...we can help you get started and more importantly, keep going! As you'd imagine, the Tool Box is full of information and coping skills to help you. I know you are afraid of what the future holds, but if I can tell you one thing, it's this: A life without AL is 1000 times better than one WITH it. Please join us in the nest, you will get all the support you need to get started. We are so glad you found us! Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

hi

B, I was about to lose my spouse of 25 years....on the night of Jan 19, 2011, he packed his clothes and left. I knew I had to get my act together and FAST. I'd tried to control it and moderate for a solid year, there's just no turning back addiction. I took a leap of faith, trusting in the good people here and in the nest, and they got me on my way. I'm almost 2 and a half years sober now....my marriage is back on solid ground, and the future looks bright! You can do this!! B

[beau]

hi

ok... lets try. thank you

[Byrdlady]

hi

GREAT....if you have some time, go introduce yourself in the nest....just jump in! Then spend all the time you can in the Tool Box! You will see that in a really SHORT amount of time your life can turn right around!! It is a commitment to be Alcohol Free (AF). It's scary, but do able and so worth it! B

[beau]

hi

brydlady, how did you manage to stop?

[Byrdlady]

hi

I found this site in 2010, and when I got here, I was ready to stop...I got derailed by a couple things....and one of them is on this site. That is the idea that I could control my AL intake. It's called moderating on this board. And it is a temptation, but if you dive in and understand that it takes high powered drugs to be able to do this, then you will find, like most of us, the easiest thing to do is give it up and stop fighting it. Once I stopped thinking that I could stop after just a couple, it was free-ing. I cannot stop at one or two. None of us can. So I adopted a Zero Tolerance policy. Get all the AL out of your house, surround yourself with things you love to do and eat, and I kept on this site, reading and posting. You cannot have it both ways, you either drink or you don't. We have crossed the line into addictive behavior so the only way to beat this beast is to starve it. Keep your belly full is the key!! Stay hydrated, and read as much as you can here!! It's not nearly as bad as you think it's going to be....don't let the fear of doing it, keep you from actually doing it!! I believe something so strongly I put it in my tag line below....all you gotta do is get thru this day. And I can do that!! b

[Frequent Traveler]

hi

Welcome beau,
This site is awesome, it has been there for me and made a huge difference in my life and given me my life back.
I am now both Alcohol free and Nicotine free since Jan 1 and love it. It is not easy and no kidding about that, but last holiday I found myself alone and took my sorrow in drink and smoke. Until I awoke Jan 1st realizing that I was probably going to die alone and the one person that would find my was my son, this I could not allow and the vision of wanting to live kicked in.
As Birdy says look around and take part in what ever catches your interest, it is a great site and has made the difference in my life.
FT

[3June2013]

hi

I agree with Byrdlady when she says you either drink or you don't. When I stopped drinking I thought I would just give it a try and see if I could stop. The more I read and the more I looked at myself the more I realized I can't moderate my drinking. So it's all or nothing for me. All means trouble. Nothing is a struggle right now but it's worth every moment of it. Welcome!

[beau]

hi

this is all great advise and i appriciate it. I have one big roadblock. I own a bar!!!!!! and i live there too! and im not in a financial position to get rid of it. so im around booze 24/7... every person i know is a drunk and incurages me to drink. its very hard to stop drinking when i need to constantly hand alcohol to people.... :upset: i just dont know what to do anymore. my spouse is begging me to stop yet refuses to give up the bar. im just stuck...

[3June2013]

hi

Would it be possible to take a break from the bar? Maybe a week or two away? Also, if you search this site there are drugs that help. Also hypnosis. You are in a tough situation, but I am betting there are others here who can help. Take it one day at a time. Tell people you are taking a break from drinking, they won't like it because it means they will look at their own drinking, but that's their baggage not yours.

[Byrdlady]

hi

That is a tough spot. We have a Wine maker on here that tastes it and spits it out....that takes a lot of strength.
I guess you're going to have to ask the really hard questions. I think one of the biggest things I have learned on this site and on this journey is to learn which voices to listen to....the ones that keep pulling you further down, or the ones trying to help you out.
If you are like the rest of us, AL was killing us....

[Siren136]

hi

beau;1521037 wrote: this is all great advise and i appriciate it. I have one big roadblock. I own a bar!!!!!! and i live there too! and im not in a financial position to get rid of it. so im around booze 24/7... every person i know is a drunk and incurages me to drink. its very hard to stop drinking when i need to constantly hand alcohol to people.... :upset: i just dont know what to do anymore. my spouse is begging me to stop yet refuses to give up the bar. im just stuck...

Beau - you CAN do this. Every drink is a decision. You raise your glass to your mouth to take the drink. Will deciding to not drink be uncomfortable? YES! Can you handle it? YES YES!

There are many many reasons to not drink. Here are a few:

I'm on medication that does not react well with alcohol

I'm on a diet and am cutting back on empty calories as much as possible

My stomach's not 100% and the alcohol wouldn't sit well.

I didn't sleep well last night and a drink would make me really sleepy right now.

Maybe later - I'm thinking about going for a walk/drive/bike ride/nap/other right now

Stuff hasn't been tasting 'right' to me lately. The thought of a drink right now isn't appealing.

It's too hot - drinking makes me sweat.

I'm feeling dehydrated - I need water, not alcohol.