Mean drunk!

[rubywillow]

Mean drunk!

Welcome here, again, Prin. You MAY very well have anger issues. But any AL will make it worse. Are you trying to moderate, or quit? It appears you're young, and most young people can't imagine their life without AL. But if you have become so drunk you don't remember, even once, and remained functional, you've passed a dangerous point. I highly recommend you go to therapy, for the anger, and also bring up the alcohol. Some things we cannot do alone. And really, there is life after, without, AL, and it is SO much more uncomplicated. Think about why it has ANY importance in your life, really. I wish you the best, and will be glad to help you any way I can.
Ruby

[BellaC]

Mean drunk!

I could turn mean when I drank. It just took the tiniest trigger sometimes. I don't think I've said anything too horrible but I just completely changed into a crazy person. I had a really great friend that lives across the country and no longer talks to me...I have no idea why. I don't remember our last conversations on the phone because I was blacked out.

I also turned very flirty...When I was single I completely lead a friend of mine on and proceeded to make out with him (NEVER would have done it sober), and then had to do damage control the next day. Just one of the many times I had to do damage control. That's why I started drinking alone.

Princess, I understand how you feel...I've completely mortified myself in front of the opposite sex while under the influence. I'm in therapy too...I find it helpful. I've been in it on and off for years, and I've learned a couple of things: you have to put work into it to get anything out of it, and drinking blocks healing. Therapy helped me a little bit while I was drinking, but since I quit (with the therapist's help), I can really tell the difference. You don't have to feel mortified and ashamed because of alcohol again.

[LoveLaugh]

Mean drunk!

Yes...I can go from that happy-go-lucky feeling very quickly into a dark mode. No one really gets to this site IMO....because their drinking is all "fine".

I have lost many friends.....and tend to isolate now.

[angel77]

Mean drunk!

Hey there, well I had a friend once and when she used to drink she was really mean to me. I don't know why and couldn't understand why. I remember once when I was out I called out to say hi and she just walked straight by me as if I didn't exist. It really hurt. The next day she sent me a message to say sorry and that she was drunk. So, yes I am not saying this to make you feel bad! Actually, I just wanted to say congratulations for being brave enough to try and change. At least you are trying.

[Mish]

Mean drunk!

At a party my first husband and I were holding he was behaving like a prize idiot but I was pretty trashed and said to everyone: "You have met my FIRST husband haven't you?" Another time I said "This is the trouble with having your CHILDREN so far apart," when he was acting the goat. I got great laughs, but it was pretty nasty when I look back on it.

[Mish]

Mean drunk!

Princesslea, you poor darling. I haven't had your experience with a guy I have liked, but I have had to apologise for some pretty embarrassing things I've said and done (some I don't remember.). It sure took some courage to tell us that experience, so I think you have enough intestinal fortitude to deal with any anger and AL issues you have, and conquer them with real style. If you are as young as you sound, seize this opportunity of finding MWO and the wonderful friends and don't leave. I'm only new and this is my new second home.
Any guy you're attracted to while having anger/AL issues is probably not going to be good for you in the long run, so let it go and look after yourself. When you're better you'll find the right one.

[mario]

Mean drunk!

When i was drinking i could change like the wind,when drinking i could not control the anger & aggressiveness i had inside me,now that i am sober i am coming to terms of what really did make me so.Alcohol certainly does not help with any of your emotions.

[PhoenixRising]

Mean drunk!

Anything would set me off when I was drunk. I've said mean things to hubs and then of course didn't remember saying them. It was awful. Glad it's all in the past now.

[choice]

Mean drunk!

I've said horribly mean things when drunk and was blacked out to people I care about. I'm not sure what all of my triggers were. I think I was a loaded gun or sometimes I could handle the toughest situation (that should have made me livid) very calmly... My anger was unpredictable and aggressive... I think AL opened doors to many emotions that sober I could manage responsibly. One of the ways I abused AL was to bring up issues I was having with someone (usually of the opposite sex) and not hold back. I'd air everything. I'd think I was beyond right, not listen and beat a dead horse. (One of the problems with repeating myself when I'm drunk). While I may have had a legitimate point to begin with, it was lost in translation and what ever somebody did that triggered my anger... it was never as bad is how I handled it. Embarrassment and shame followed... self esteem started to go down the drain and I actually started to put up with bad behavior and anger toward me because I felt I deserved it... because I'd been a mean drunk... Terrible, horrible vicious cycle.