Hello all,
I've been lurking the community for quiet a while now. I'm a member of a drugs forum and have been studying drugs for around 10 years now. I'm no expert, it's just a hobby of mine.
I had been drinking pretty heavy in college, due to stress... One thing lead to another and i was drinking 15 cans of beer a night. I was also taking baclofen around that time. I upped my dose to what i consider a my switch, which was embarrassingly high, over 300mg. I stayed there for almost a year. During that year my lifelong anxiety was cured better than any other medicine i had ever tried (tons of ssri, ativan, xanax, klonopine). That was never my intentions when i first encountered baclofen.
My life was excellent and i enjoyed every minute of it. Baclofen gave me unlimited energy, albeit, I know that's unheard of in most cases. I also was never sad, i lost weight, got stronger, i had courage like i had never before, I could win over any person in a conversation and made many friends and girlfriends. I lyed naked in a hospital bed in ICU after a carwreck, without batting an eye of shyeness. Everyone loved me, because i could finally be who i really am, without my insecurities or negative thoughts and worries overwhelming my brain. I have trauma, ptsd, anxiety and panic disorders. All cured by massive doses of baclofen.
Sometime at the beginning of this year i lost access to baclofen. I went into tremendous worry, as well as the documented withdrawal. I got lucky and picked up enough to continue. Then like a hammered alcoholic having a moment of clarity, i realized, I'm not going to be able to get this one day, something is going to happen and i'm going to have to suffer this withdrawal cold turkey, which wasn't exactly the case. I had 125mg a day until i could get more, but i couldn't bare the withdrawal, so within a few days i only had 50mg a day until i could get the next bottle. I was panicked, and it lead me to another epiphany. I need to get off from this drug asap.
My reasons are this. I don't deal with Dr. L, but what if he was to retire, or die in an automobile accident. What if the drug gets scheduled narcotic and you can't order it offline, (i never did). Or worst case scenario, what if you go to jail. Very very scary thoughts if you've had to abruptly change your doseage and been forced into withdrawal. Luckily my friend brought my bottles to the ER while i was in the hopistal for the wreck. Nothing is for sure. However, baclofen is my DOC, i even told mental health that and they laughed at me. It's not well documented that baclofen is the best anxiety medicine in the world, for some.
Another problem i had with baclofen is the half life. I would take literally a pocketfull of pills with me, start off with 80-100mg first thing in the morning and wow, i would feel so optimistic about the day. No fears or anxiety or depression. I would top it off 1 pill at a time until bedtime. I used to cry a lot and i used to be very sensitive to pain. On baclofen i just feel like a completely different person. I'm able to make people almost fall in love with me due to my personality, which i consider myself somewhat smart, but my anxiety impairs my cognitive abilities and my eloquence dwindles down to barely being able to form sentences, sign checks, or make eye contact. I was so forward, i was assertive and outgoing. My alcohol consumption or addiction was easily treated, as i wasn't phsyically addicted to it IMO. I just would binge during stressfull times, and when i got a girlfriend i would have to constantly drink around her or else she would think i was retarded or a serial killer with my awkward demeanor. Although, inside i just wanted to get closer to her and say the things that was on my mind. By close, i mean, sometimes i would feel frozen, when i wanted to physically move closer and just put my cheek against hers or a flirty gesture my heart would pound.
Now i've tapered myself all the way down to 15mg a day. I wake up every morning and i feel fear, that pit of uncertainty about the day. I'm starting back college in 2 months and all i can do is worry about it every morning. I haven't even had the guts to talk to my student advisor about how many classes i wanted to take. Going places gives me diaheria, stomach cramps and the closer i get to the destination the more panicked i become, even the doctor is hard, to expand, even waiting for him to enter the room feels like counting down to the time i'll be hanged.
But with all these what ifs. I'm more worried about being addicted to a drug that i may not have access to due to issues that may arise and are out of my control. Those are not something i can just accept, i have to plan for them. In that case, the drug goes illegal, or any of you go to jail (god forbid, but weird things happen), what will you do. What if the next time you contact Dr. L hes under a lawsuit and can no longer treat you.
Trust me, you're in for hell and will wish you were just dead. I have been so afraid having panic attacks, retching, fatigue, paranoia, delusions, that i can attest to it being something to think about. Thank god right now i'm stablised at 15mg contemplating why i really want to stop, because at this point i'm so easily reminded why i started taking it in the first place.
I'm compiling a thread for baclofen withdrawal for another forum and heres a list of things i've experienced so far.
Baclofen wd symptoms
-------------------------
Dizzy
Nausea
Loss of appetite
Retching - sometimes vomiting
Can't look up, causes extreme dizzyness and sick feeling - assumed due to blood pressure change - maybe lower or causing poor circulation
Constipation
Fatigue
Fear/Paranoia - no since of well being, very afraid and nervous, watching every car go by, fear of doom, death, prison and so on.
Delusions - for instance took atv to repair shop, believing paraphenalia was left in storage, going to jail, gota check it
Agitation
Severe irritability - stress the severe part, impulsive, over reaction emotionally and anger (pissed off)
Low attention span/patience - part of irritability, can't wait, wanna break the phone if it freezes, throw things, angry outburst (feelings of cant take it)
Muscle weakness
Losing muscle tone (hypotonia) - may be due to inability to exert oneself. feel like sitting still all day
Increased heart rate - heart pounding felels like having a heartattack, scary and painful
Anxiety/nervousness - inability to socialize or to the point of not wanting to even be seen
Pain - was in a car wreck so maybe it was masking some of my pain, but i notice where my fractures were(pelvis, vertabraes, lower back) hurts a lot more
Jerking (convulsing)- Twitchy, fidgity muscle jerks, arms legs and in body but especially hands, fingers and left and right shoulder blades causing a forward thrust
Insomnia
Night terrors - nightmare doesn't do these dreams justice.
Emotional problems - over sensitive, on the drug and during wd i have been unable to cry yet i feel extreme guilt if i kill a spider, it was a living thing, i'm definitely not experiencing emotions properly
Depression - minus crying, overall gloom and no hope, a few thoughts of suicide because the future seems too hard, impossible. yet able to rationalize it as an irrational thought, seems like a way out of feeling this much anxiety and failure.
Apathy - odd, that i would feel over emotional and sometimes feel apathetic, but im unable to show empathy towards others concerns at times (illness in the family, death, etc), could be anxiety, tied up in my own problems, an inability to listen and react accordingly, could be due to fatigue and tiredness
Mental fog - on baclofen i was sharp as a tack, witty and quick to respond, tapering off i feel less creative, unable to socialize with who i want too and keep a conversation, sometimes keeping a train of thought is difficult, maybe this too is due to anxiety and constant worry
Racing thoughts - goes with anxiety and depression, can't walk to the mailbox without my mind trying to figure out 2-3 years in the future, and put it all on myself today. Voice in my head won't shut up, i am able to control it for only a little while before it starts rambling on about next 30 mins, last 10 years, next 20 years, people and events, trying to calculate my life or scenario constantly instead of just walking to the mailbox and looking at the scenery.
Temperature change - freezing cold sometimes (5 HT, serotonin?), although, rarely have felt like i was burning up but not as much as freezing, increase in temp may be a side effect of extreme anxiety, others say temp is fine and is usually 70-73 so i know it's me
Panic attacks - especially in social situations, or late at night or first thing in the morning. less likley to happen during the day
Bipolar symptoms - rapidly cycling moods, energetic, depressed, mania, euphoria
Anorgasmia (while on the drug)
Premature ejaculation the lower the dose goes down
Hypersexuality
All i want is back on the drug with assurance i can get enough of it. My other complaint is the duration/half life. Why can't they make an extended release version. I don't want to take pills aruond the clock. If i could take it once a day, that would be perfect.
There are many things to think about before becoming addicted to it. The taper is not as simple as it sounds. Once stablised i went 5mg each step from 90. 2week intervals, if i didn't feel right i went 3 week intervals.
I would love to be on this drug as i'm able to make more money and enjoy life by putting myself out there. I haven't drank in 6 months and don't really care about drinking ever again, but it's my golden ticket to fix my anxiety. Lots of things can happen.
What are your thoughts?
I've been lurking the community for quiet a while now. I'm a member of a drugs forum and have been studying drugs for around 10 years now. I'm no expert, it's just a hobby of mine.
I had been drinking pretty heavy in college, due to stress... One thing lead to another and i was drinking 15 cans of beer a night. I was also taking baclofen around that time. I upped my dose to what i consider a my switch, which was embarrassingly high, over 300mg. I stayed there for almost a year. During that year my lifelong anxiety was cured better than any other medicine i had ever tried (tons of ssri, ativan, xanax, klonopine). That was never my intentions when i first encountered baclofen.
My life was excellent and i enjoyed every minute of it. Baclofen gave me unlimited energy, albeit, I know that's unheard of in most cases. I also was never sad, i lost weight, got stronger, i had courage like i had never before, I could win over any person in a conversation and made many friends and girlfriends. I lyed naked in a hospital bed in ICU after a carwreck, without batting an eye of shyeness. Everyone loved me, because i could finally be who i really am, without my insecurities or negative thoughts and worries overwhelming my brain. I have trauma, ptsd, anxiety and panic disorders. All cured by massive doses of baclofen.
Sometime at the beginning of this year i lost access to baclofen. I went into tremendous worry, as well as the documented withdrawal. I got lucky and picked up enough to continue. Then like a hammered alcoholic having a moment of clarity, i realized, I'm not going to be able to get this one day, something is going to happen and i'm going to have to suffer this withdrawal cold turkey, which wasn't exactly the case. I had 125mg a day until i could get more, but i couldn't bare the withdrawal, so within a few days i only had 50mg a day until i could get the next bottle. I was panicked, and it lead me to another epiphany. I need to get off from this drug asap.
My reasons are this. I don't deal with Dr. L, but what if he was to retire, or die in an automobile accident. What if the drug gets scheduled narcotic and you can't order it offline, (i never did). Or worst case scenario, what if you go to jail. Very very scary thoughts if you've had to abruptly change your doseage and been forced into withdrawal. Luckily my friend brought my bottles to the ER while i was in the hopistal for the wreck. Nothing is for sure. However, baclofen is my DOC, i even told mental health that and they laughed at me. It's not well documented that baclofen is the best anxiety medicine in the world, for some.
Another problem i had with baclofen is the half life. I would take literally a pocketfull of pills with me, start off with 80-100mg first thing in the morning and wow, i would feel so optimistic about the day. No fears or anxiety or depression. I would top it off 1 pill at a time until bedtime. I used to cry a lot and i used to be very sensitive to pain. On baclofen i just feel like a completely different person. I'm able to make people almost fall in love with me due to my personality, which i consider myself somewhat smart, but my anxiety impairs my cognitive abilities and my eloquence dwindles down to barely being able to form sentences, sign checks, or make eye contact. I was so forward, i was assertive and outgoing. My alcohol consumption or addiction was easily treated, as i wasn't phsyically addicted to it IMO. I just would binge during stressfull times, and when i got a girlfriend i would have to constantly drink around her or else she would think i was retarded or a serial killer with my awkward demeanor. Although, inside i just wanted to get closer to her and say the things that was on my mind. By close, i mean, sometimes i would feel frozen, when i wanted to physically move closer and just put my cheek against hers or a flirty gesture my heart would pound.
Now i've tapered myself all the way down to 15mg a day. I wake up every morning and i feel fear, that pit of uncertainty about the day. I'm starting back college in 2 months and all i can do is worry about it every morning. I haven't even had the guts to talk to my student advisor about how many classes i wanted to take. Going places gives me diaheria, stomach cramps and the closer i get to the destination the more panicked i become, even the doctor is hard, to expand, even waiting for him to enter the room feels like counting down to the time i'll be hanged.
But with all these what ifs. I'm more worried about being addicted to a drug that i may not have access to due to issues that may arise and are out of my control. Those are not something i can just accept, i have to plan for them. In that case, the drug goes illegal, or any of you go to jail (god forbid, but weird things happen), what will you do. What if the next time you contact Dr. L hes under a lawsuit and can no longer treat you.
Trust me, you're in for hell and will wish you were just dead. I have been so afraid having panic attacks, retching, fatigue, paranoia, delusions, that i can attest to it being something to think about. Thank god right now i'm stablised at 15mg contemplating why i really want to stop, because at this point i'm so easily reminded why i started taking it in the first place.
I'm compiling a thread for baclofen withdrawal for another forum and heres a list of things i've experienced so far.
Baclofen wd symptoms
-------------------------
Dizzy
Nausea
Loss of appetite
Retching - sometimes vomiting
Can't look up, causes extreme dizzyness and sick feeling - assumed due to blood pressure change - maybe lower or causing poor circulation
Constipation
Fatigue
Fear/Paranoia - no since of well being, very afraid and nervous, watching every car go by, fear of doom, death, prison and so on.
Delusions - for instance took atv to repair shop, believing paraphenalia was left in storage, going to jail, gota check it
Agitation
Severe irritability - stress the severe part, impulsive, over reaction emotionally and anger (pissed off)
Low attention span/patience - part of irritability, can't wait, wanna break the phone if it freezes, throw things, angry outburst (feelings of cant take it)
Muscle weakness
Losing muscle tone (hypotonia) - may be due to inability to exert oneself. feel like sitting still all day
Increased heart rate - heart pounding felels like having a heartattack, scary and painful
Anxiety/nervousness - inability to socialize or to the point of not wanting to even be seen
Pain - was in a car wreck so maybe it was masking some of my pain, but i notice where my fractures were(pelvis, vertabraes, lower back) hurts a lot more
Jerking (convulsing)- Twitchy, fidgity muscle jerks, arms legs and in body but especially hands, fingers and left and right shoulder blades causing a forward thrust
Insomnia
Night terrors - nightmare doesn't do these dreams justice.
Emotional problems - over sensitive, on the drug and during wd i have been unable to cry yet i feel extreme guilt if i kill a spider, it was a living thing, i'm definitely not experiencing emotions properly
Depression - minus crying, overall gloom and no hope, a few thoughts of suicide because the future seems too hard, impossible. yet able to rationalize it as an irrational thought, seems like a way out of feeling this much anxiety and failure.
Apathy - odd, that i would feel over emotional and sometimes feel apathetic, but im unable to show empathy towards others concerns at times (illness in the family, death, etc), could be anxiety, tied up in my own problems, an inability to listen and react accordingly, could be due to fatigue and tiredness
Mental fog - on baclofen i was sharp as a tack, witty and quick to respond, tapering off i feel less creative, unable to socialize with who i want too and keep a conversation, sometimes keeping a train of thought is difficult, maybe this too is due to anxiety and constant worry
Racing thoughts - goes with anxiety and depression, can't walk to the mailbox without my mind trying to figure out 2-3 years in the future, and put it all on myself today. Voice in my head won't shut up, i am able to control it for only a little while before it starts rambling on about next 30 mins, last 10 years, next 20 years, people and events, trying to calculate my life or scenario constantly instead of just walking to the mailbox and looking at the scenery.
Temperature change - freezing cold sometimes (5 HT, serotonin?), although, rarely have felt like i was burning up but not as much as freezing, increase in temp may be a side effect of extreme anxiety, others say temp is fine and is usually 70-73 so i know it's me
Panic attacks - especially in social situations, or late at night or first thing in the morning. less likley to happen during the day
Bipolar symptoms - rapidly cycling moods, energetic, depressed, mania, euphoria
Anorgasmia (while on the drug)
Premature ejaculation the lower the dose goes down
Hypersexuality
All i want is back on the drug with assurance i can get enough of it. My other complaint is the duration/half life. Why can't they make an extended release version. I don't want to take pills aruond the clock. If i could take it once a day, that would be perfect.
There are many things to think about before becoming addicted to it. The taper is not as simple as it sounds. Once stablised i went 5mg each step from 90. 2week intervals, if i didn't feel right i went 3 week intervals.
I would love to be on this drug as i'm able to make more money and enjoy life by putting myself out there. I haven't drank in 6 months and don't really care about drinking ever again, but it's my golden ticket to fix my anxiety. Lots of things can happen.
What are your thoughts?
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