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    #1

    AA meeting gone wrong???

    Good Morning Everyone! Just touching base to tell me story about my experience with the AA meeting. I had informed my friend of 10 years that I had a problem with alcohol (he is former alcoholic) and he asked me to join him at a meeting last friday. So, I did. It was actually both alanon and aa members "birthday meeting" which means they have had sobrienty for a long period of time, hence, Birthday!! Well, the area was not too pleasant place to be but I did try to get over it. When walking in it smelled! Well, tried to get over that as well. It is the alano club and they don't seem to update quite as often as they should. Okay, so we all ate dinner (pot luck) and then proceeded with meeting. My friend asked me to get up and read the 5th step of the AA book. Well it being my first time and all (really didn't know what to expect and a little nervous) I declined. If I were asked to speak from my chair, no problem, but to get up and speak, NO! The only way I was going to take that mike was if I was going to kareoke!! ha, anyway, he seemed a little miffed....oh well... So, meeting was actually very interesting. When it was finally over we got in his car and he askes me what I did wrong. Well, not agreeing to get up and read, I assume!! He says I say I, I ,I all the time. Like its all about me?? NOT! I am really very dissappointed about the whole thing. I ask for help and then I get critiqed. Not right! If I take baby steps that my proagative..(spell right?) isn't it?? I am going to shop around and find a meeting that suits me and not go with HIM!! I think he is way toooo passionate about the AA thing and that okay with him, but slow down with me! I will do this my way! Any feedback on this?????
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    #2
    AA meeting gone wrong???

    I've never been to AA but it does seem like a new meeting place with new people is a good idea. Somewhere that you feel accepted and comfortable is the key.
    "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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      #3
      AA meeting gone wrong???

      I went to AA years ago with a friend, It was the most uncomfortable moments I have ever encountered. All they did was talk about how much they used to drink. And oh the smoking....Shitzulover find a female support group. I think that would be better
      Mary

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        #4
        AA meeting gone wrong???

        shitz,
        Not to knock AA but when I went to alanon it seemed like AA was more like a cult then anything else. If thats what you want or need well then fine. Nothing is gonna work if you arent comfortable or if its pushed on you. I would just do what feels good and right for you.
        Whatever works right?

        I know a recovered alcoholic that hasnt drank in over 25 years. Honestly she drives me nuts. I mean I am glad she is recovering and all but sheese louise. The woman is a loon. I think she switched her addiction from booze to AA. I dont think anyone can stand to be around her for more than 10 minutes. I think its to each their own.
        Gabby :flower:

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          #5
          AA meeting gone wrong???

          then again you could always find anther AA group that could be really good.
          Gabby :flower:

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            #6
            AA meeting gone wrong???

            I agree with Gabby..AA groups have personalities of their own..remember, it's full of alcoholics at varying degrees of sobriety..I went to a really great group many years ago..actually many of the people have reappeared in my life in different arenas..However, when i went to a meeting a few years ago after I started drinking again, I knew I couldn't go there..a young woman who must have had a very hard and drunken life was very enthusiastic about our exchanging phone numbers..well, I declined and the woman I was with gave me a similar 'look'...the difference between myself and some of my AA lifer friends is that I don't want or feel the need to make my alcohol problem my life, and I'm too far along my own journey to take that path again...but I have to say that my experience with AA marked the threshold to my spiritual journey and for that, i'll always be greatfull..sooo, long story long...shop around and look for one who has leaders that have something you want or that you can admire and learn from, they are there..then you can find out if it's for you or not....kind of like shopping for a mate ?

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              #7
              AA meeting gone wrong???

              Well..it is all about you, really. I think. This is your life. You want to be healthy for you; and for everyone else. But, you're the one that has to get up every morning and look at yourself in the mirror.. there are times when you have to be selfish, and for the sake of your health and happiness, this is one of them.

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                #8
                AA meeting gone wrong???

                AA is a cult. My advice is to stay away. Here is a link for more info:

                Orange Papers

                All the best,
                lucky

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                  #9
                  AA meeting gone wrong???

                  there are many other options than just going to AA.( thanks the gods) try your phone book and stay away from places that have court ordered attendance. does you no good to go someplace were there are people who are forced to attend. you dont know how many people i have seen over the years in bars 20 min after they have gone to these forced meetings....including AA. For those of you in florida i know that people are forced to go to
                  AA by the courts in some cases.

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                    #10
                    AA meeting gone wrong???

                    AA fanatics

                    As Gabby said, some of these people want to impose their ways on you. Its truly annoying. I'd rather be out enjoying my life than going to a meeting listening to a bunch of whiners that messed up their life. I messed up my life, and trying to do right now. I can understand the initial "mouring period", but after years, please move on!! This place is good enough for me. AA wants you to be involved forever. You ever hear the term "recovering alcoholic?" That is crazy. It denotes that you are never recovered. I say bull to that. There is absolutely no scientific evidence to back most of what the "Big Book" is predicated on. I know, because I've been through a lot of avenues to quit drinking. Now, I'm not going to fully knock AA, cause it obviously has saved millions of people. But, as I said, that time people spend in meetings, I'll be out hiking or riding a bike. Listening to too many sob stories is just going to set me off, and I know I'm not alone on that thought. I hope you find what you need, but there are other options, that is for sure. I like this place, cause I'm not forced into believing I need to be here for any period of time. And, if I don't like somebodys input, I'll just ignore them. Just as people can ignore me. It's great. Maybe you'll have better luck than I did. I sure hope so. Take care.
                    where does this go?

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                      #11
                      AA meeting gone wrong???

                      I've met wonderful people from AA (when I did out-patient) & yes, you have those who live & breathe AA because for them it's their way of life. Without it they would go back to the way they were. For some people they feel the need to spread their miracle to others.

                      But I've been told that if you don't like a meeting keep finding one till you do. Someone I knew in my outpatient group used to travel around my state to various meetings and even go to picnics & dances etc. just to meet various people etc with his wife. He was the one who said to find a meeting that makes you happy (I never went-never appealed to me). He just liked going to meetings. Talking to him you would never guess he was a "typical" AA groupie! Good luck.
                      :flower: Change a life; make someone feel important. ................. ........................ ..................... ........................ ................. ....... sigpic

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                        #12
                        AA meeting gone wrong???

                        it appears that the US courts have really abused AA and it shows. Why? it's an easy cop-out for them to simply say " your sentence is 90 meeting in 90 days and you better get a sponsor or it's jail time!" bam...case closed. it's so sad that they default to the easiest way out. Just shows the awful and negative stigma attached to chemical dependance issues in our society. I've been to 4 AA meetings and don't care for them for a variety of reasons.
                        nosce te ipsum
                        (Know Thyself)

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                          #13
                          AA meeting gone wrong???

                          I did a Weight Watchers meeting at a church (as the leader) and had an AA group follow us. One week, there was a huge amount of young guys. I congratulated the moderator on his great attendance, and he told me that they had to be there because of DUIs. I was thinking of incorporating mandatory attendance to my WW meetings for anyone who is overweight! That would work, right?? Shoving something down someone's throat and expecting them to buy into it and be excited about participating?

                          Comment

                            #14
                            AA meeting gone wrong???

                            I have to say that while it works for some people, I did not care for it AT ALL. I have tried several meetings and for the most part, I found the people to be fairly judgemental and cultish. And many act like its the only answer. Its not.

                            My own mother has been in AA for 27 years and she acts like anyone who has more than a glass of wine has a serious problem. And now turns everything people do into an addiction. Its rather annoying and severely limits the time I can spend with her because I will say something I regret. And I struggle with that bec/ she is my Mom and I love her. But she is addicted to AA and it aint pretty. My father went for 2 years and then never went again -- and didn't drink for 23 years after his last meeting. He passed away sober for 25 years and just took what he needed from that group.

                            Sorry - a bit full of venom right now. Just hung up with the AA queen herself. OK...I'll stop now.
                            Hawk

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                              #15
                              AA meeting gone wrong???

                              Boy! thanks for all the input! lots of opinion out there! I love it!!

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