Army Thread Friday 5th July

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Friday 5th July

That's our boy.

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Friday 5th July

sweetpea29;1528765 wrote: :H Wots a matter? You no like the tennis?

His girlfriend is a right looker aint she?
She is... which is why the cameraman cannae take his eyes off her :H

JackieClaire;1528768 wrote: It's all got a bit tense for me.

Yep she's a bonnie lass.
'Tis tense.... almost kind of addictive actually

sweetpea29;1528771 wrote: Ye sound like Churchill ofa that advert!

:H

sweetpea29;1528773 wrote: Seriously hope he goes on and does it this time

Fingers and toes and arms and legs and a'thing is crossed.

JackieClaire;1528775 wrote: I was just about to say that wasn't me having a knee trembler behind the bike sheds.

:H

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Friday 5th July

JackieClaire;1528775 wrote: I was just about to say that wasn't me having a knee trembler behind the bike sheds.

I was just rather pleased at the tennis results.

Jackie!! :H:H

[sugarbeat]

Army Thread Friday 5th July

Advise needed my friends, one thing I lost during my drinking was a lovely boyfriend of 3 years and a friend for many more before that. Life is changing everyday now and I feel like a new woman, but just found out my ex got engaged, I still love him a little bit, but I've changed alot since being AF. Fear not it won't make me drink but what's the healthiest way to handle this mentally, and be happy for him and not throw all my toys out of the pram and banish him out of my life! Confused emotions going on

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Friday 5th July

Arrrrgh Sugar, wish I could stay but I've just taken a pizza out of the oven.
These young 'uns will be able to advise better that me.

[sugarbeat]

Army Thread Friday 5th July

Thanks Jackie, just afraid those dreaded not good enough feelings will blast back in

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Friday 5th July

Hey sugar... ehm... not sure am the best for relationship advise.... BUT from my own experience the WORST feeling post break up (even if it's been years) and we still hold some feeling towards the other - or not, it may just be the we ourselves don't beleive we've moved on - is when the ex finds someone new...gets engaged/married/makes babies.

What i reckon you have to realise IN YOURSELF is that you have changed - immeasurably in many respects - and by comparing yourself with where your ex is (finding someone and getting engaged) merely diminishes your own sense of self-esteem. DON'T.

I mean it.

DON'T.

It doesn't take much to floor us - especially as we work through our relationship with addiction or problem drinking or whatever. But if something or someone comes along and that person or situation makes you feel a certain way, DON'T carry on self-flagellating yourself with those feelings. Nobody is doing it but you. I KNOW IT'S EASY TO WRITE THIS AND HARD AS HELL SOMETIMES TO ENACT... trust me, i've been caning myself today about stuff... and it is only me doing the caning - no one else!! Bonkers, innit?! There really is no reason to do it.

So don't compare. Don;t allow yourself to cane yourself with those intrusive self-perpetuated thoughts that you aint good enough. Just don;t. Cos no matter how much you do it, it wont solve the situation. The situation is as it is. But YOU - YOU are more than and better than the situation. You ARE good enough. You ARE STRONG. And i don;t know you apart from reading your posts here, but i cannot emphasise enough how strong you are - you're taking on a battle - and you're beating it. Most don;t. Most stick their head in the sand ... because everyone else is sticking their head in the sand.

But re your ex... there isn't any need to banish him.... HOWEVER, please protect yourself first. If seeing him, or maintaining contact is causing you to feel negative, angry, resentful... then it may well be worth distancing yourself for a short while. And if he is someone you genuinely want in your life as a friend... then if that is a genuine desire between the both of you, there is no reason why that can;t be the case in the future... But i would do right now what feels BEST FOR YOU.

Don't try and be omnibenevolent, an angel, a martyr. It'll backfire. (well it always back fires on me!!)

Sorry for the ramble - just my initial thoughts...

Be well :l

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Friday 5th July

sugarbeat;1528780 wrote: Advise needed my friends, one thing I lost during my drinking was a lovely boyfriend of 3 years and a friend for many more before that. Life is changing everyday now and I feel like a new woman, but just found out my ex got engaged, I still love him a little bit, but I've changed alot since being AF. Fear not it won't make me drink but what's the healthiest way to handle this mentally, and be happy for him and not throw all my toys out of the pram and banish him out of my life! Confused emotions going on

Ah no Sugar :l I feel for ya on this and wish I could give some real useful advice. Have had me fair share of broken hearts over the yrs and know how it can leave us feeling low, not good/worthy enough....It's only natural that you're gonna have confused emotions hun:l

Suppose what may make this hard is that ye are still friends as such and maybe still in touch? It always helps when the ex was a bollix- then ye can say good riddance!

From my perspective I reckon you should take a step back from him- focus on YOU. Do things for you that make you feel good and positive about yourself, I dunno.. like meet-up with other friends, visit a spa, you like music- something to do with that maybe. Spend time on YOU. List your positive points etc..It's ok for you to feel down and cry too- that's natural.

Oh I wish I could help sugar or had the magic answer- it will take time but you will get there xx

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Friday 5th July

Great minds think alike there Piddlepantaloons

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Friday 5th July

RunningCourage;1528792 wrote: Great minds think alike there Piddlepantaloons

:l

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Friday 5th July

D'Arsey- ye make a very good point about comparing ourselves with others, especially our peers. Indeed- that's where I find myself at my lowest and most depressed- when comparing myself to other's who may be in a better job, married, have kids, have their mansion in the country blah, blah...

Sugarbeat- as D'Arsey says YOU ARE STRONG and CAPABLE and GOOD ENOUGH xx Tell yourself this xx

[sugarbeat]

Army Thread Friday 5th July

Ok I'm letting the tears out now...Don't really feel comfortable saying it to anyone only here on the boards, don't want anyone else over analysing me...mad isn't it, the power of MWO, go figure...
Thanks u guys

[sugarbeat]

Army Thread Friday 5th July

breaking up because of addiction is a weird one, different to falling out of love, or cheating, not much out there about it

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Friday 5th July

sugarbeat;1528802 wrote: Ok I'm letting the tears out now...Don't really feel comfortable saying it to anyone only here on the boards, don't want anyone else over analysing me...mad isn't it, the power of MWO, go figure...
Thanks u guys

Ah Sugar let them tears fall:l That is natural and also a comfort xx

Ya know... Im avoiding a cousin's wedding next week as I know an ex of mine (who was a bollix and am better off without) will be there with his wife!! Even tho Im better off and happier without him- it still hurts and exposes my vulnerability and my sense of worthlessness/failure. Mad!

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Friday 5th July

sugarbeat;1528804 wrote: breaking up because of addiction is a weird one, different to falling out of love, or cheating, not much out there about it

Was your breakup over the drink?

Apologies sugarbeat. ya don't hafta answer that xx