Army Thread Tuesday 9th July

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Tuesday 9th July

satz123;1530247 wrote:

I am still at your stage RC - want to stay in - have me dinner and no hassles.
But judging on Molls post - maybe that changes when we get more AF confidence ?

I think so Doc - it's not as if i dont have interests... just EVERY social event is based around having drinks - the weather aint helping :H - och... i dunno... i;ve said i can see things with a bit more lucidity now that i have AF time under my belt - and that is so true - but at the same time i kinda think i'd be way more settled than i am... but then how much of that is to do with feeling settled/purpose-fueled in one's life generally?

Uhm... sorry... i think i just confused myself there :H

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Tuesday 9th July

Yo PP :hallo: hard day at the coal face?

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Tuesday 9th July

mollyka;1530258 wrote: I also think a bit of it is breaking associations with the grog.... just dawned on me this evening at the AA meeting achully ---- there were a few newcomers there and they were saying how tricky the last few days were with the lovely evenings, beer gardens, cold wine on the patio, bbq's etc. well without a doubt this time last year all those thoughts wudda been there for me, not that I WOULD drink - but that I would WANT to drink sort of... therefore everything else was sort of second best...... I can honestly say hand on heart, the thought of grog never passed my mind till they started talking about it at the meeting..... so once the alternative to drinking seems as attractive I s'pose it'll remain second best..... but for me that WAS just time

I can be surprisingly patient I do think time is much of it. It's not just breaking the connection of habit/addiction (apparently 66 days to break habits according to a paper i read last week), but the fact that almost EVERYONE drinks to some degree, and that it is THE socio-cultural substance of choice for relaxation/celebration/annoiting of anything. It's also the drug that is sort of a cultural rite of passage - drinking is what adults do (yes, i know loads of young teens get bluttered, but they are on the "rite of passage"... they are finding their adult, as it were). Hmmm just thoughts....

[satz123]

Army Thread Tuesday 9th July

mollyka;1530258 wrote: I also think a bit of it is breaking associations with the grog.... just dawned on me this evening at the AA meeting achully ---- there were a few newcomers there and they were saying how tricky the last few days were with the lovely evenings, beer gardens, cold wine on the patio, bbq's etc. well without a doubt this time last year all those thoughts wudda been there for me, not that I WOULD drink - but that I would WANT to drink sort of... therefore everything else was sort of second best...... I can honestly say hand on heart, the thought of grog never passed my mind till they started talking about it at the meeting..... so once the alternative to drinking seems as attractive I s'pose it'll remain second best..... but for me that WAS just time

What is that Molls - the alternative ?
What I have realised : I had stopped enjoying drinking out socially a long time ago so don't miss that - just liked my own 'few' at home tbh
Different for RC being a young 'un - needs to get out there & mingle :l

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Tuesday 9th July

Hey guys, yeah non-stop today, feet killing me, need to soak in a cool bath, back on in morn (

Did ye all get to enjoy the weather- it's glorious

Stressin a tad here too, bro and fianc? are talkin of arranging joint hen and stag do for oct, a murder mystery weekend in Sligo I think. Iz streesin cause its gonna prob end up being a piss-up and I cant avoid it. What am I gonna do to get through it without drinkin?:upset:

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Tuesday 9th July

Know this aint at all PC here but I feckin want a drink at the thought of it!!

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Tuesday 9th July

satz123;1530262 wrote: What is that Molls - the alternative ?
What I have realised : I had stopped enjoying drinking out socially a long time ago so don't miss that - just liked my own 'few' at home tbh
Different for RC being a young 'un - needs to ger out ther & mingle :l
And my few at home were my "go to" and "will always be there" ... i think in time i would have left the bars and pubs for the younger ones and just drunk at home (it was gradually happening anyway....)

And for PP and Inchy to re being young (sorry Inchy if you feel that i'm a bit on the old side compared to you :H ) ... there is an added pressure / sense of loss??? if our lives have been so heavily fueled with AL. I know two peeps who are AF - one my age - who totally embrace life and love it and wonderful to be around, to work with etc... but they've been like that for years...

sweetpea29;1530264 wrote: Hey guys, yeah non-stop today, feet killing me, need to soak in a cool bath, back on in morn (

Did ye all get to enjoy the weather- it's glorious

Stressin a tad here too, bro and fianc? are talkin of arranging joint hen and stag do for oct, a murder mystery weekend in Sligo I think. Iz streesin cause its gonna prob end up being a piss-up and I cant avoid it. What am I gonna do to get through it without drinkin?:upset:

Ahh PP :l Hmmmm.... I would treat it, like Satz treated the hols.... it's one of those things you gotta do. Grin and bear it. It's hard and maybe no what you want to hear... BUT you could look at the positives. If it is a murder mystery - you're most likely to work out who dunnit cos everyone else'll have not listened/forgotten due to AL.

And... it may actually be OK.... i obviously don't know your friends/family.... and as much as it'll be a piss up for some... it mightn't be the case for everyone?

I realise saying this, that this is also the situation i would find VERY difficult and would prefer to avoid and then wallow in being on me lonesome... However if you wnat to go and you don't want to drink - and i have little doubt that you don't want a drink - then is it about, as best you can, embracing it (as hard and cold as that may feel/sound)??

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Tuesday 9th July

sweetpea29;1530265 wrote: Know this aint at all PC here but I feckin want a drink at the thought of it!!

:H:H

you know last night, for the first time in about a year and prolly for the first in 2 years when sober, i had pangs for a smoke!!

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Tuesday 9th July

RunningCourage;1530269 wrote: And my few at home were my "go to" and "will always be there" ... i think in time i would have left the bars and pubs for the younger ones and just drunk at home (it was gradually happening anyway....)

And for PP and Inchy to re being young (sorry Inchy if you feel that i'm a bit on the old side compared to you :H ) ... there is an added pressure / sense of loss??? if our lives have been so heavily fueled with AL. I know two peeps who are AF - one my age - who totally embrace life and love it and wonderful to be around, to work with etc... but they've been like that for years...



Ahh PP :l Hmmmm.... I would treat it, like Satz treated the hols.... it's one of those things you gotta do. Grin and bear it. It's hard and maybe no what you want to hear... BUT you could look at the positives. If it is a murder mystery - you're most likely to work out who dunnit cos everyone else'll have not listened/forgotten due to AL.

And... it may actually be OK.... i obviously don't know your friends/family.... and as much as it'll be a piss up for some... it mightn't be the case for everyone?

I realise saying this, that this is also the situation i would find VERY difficult and would prefer to avoid and then wallow in being on me lonesome... However if you wnat to go and you don't want to drink - and i have little doubt that you don't want a drink - then is it about, as best you can, embracing it (as hard and cold as that may feel/sound)??

Yeah yer right as always D'Arsey, thankyou Need to look at it in a more positive light... Actually would love it just for the fact of getting away and it being summat different and interesting than the bog standard hen/stag do. Just the ol insecurities creepin in... like there'll be new folk I aint met afore- know all of them will be drinking bar me. Afraid of lookin like the odd one out.. blah, blah that sorta thing, ya know? Any way just getting it out there. Need to work on me plan over next few months!

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Tuesday 9th July

mollyka;1530277 wrote: It IS omni-present --- but maybe not as much as we liked to think back in the day.... it still astounds me how many people go out and linger over two drinks, and often leave the end of the second one....... I get fixated on the drops they leave

Well - what I mean (for us aul wans) as the 'alternative' -- is the NOT being buzzed --- like you I much rathered at the end to be left at home, drinking at MY pace - so by the 'alternative' I mean the 'going out without grog' - anywhere --- ya know?

OK --- my tuppence worth --- 1/ It's a long way off, you'll be sober nigh on a year and it'll be easier than it would be right now 2/ Can you REALLY not avoid it? I mean - could you explain to them about not drinking and not feeling up to mingling with peeps drinking big time? I'm relentless when it comes to 'uncomfortable situations' --- my whole family know it and nowadays they bow to it ----- I DO play that a wee bit and feel bad about it sometimes tho....... 3/ If you DO have to go ---- MINDSET is everything --- go with the attitude 'no matter WHAT - I will not drink' --- then make a plan for each day --- escape plans --- the murder mystery part itself will probably be ok cos you'll be occupied with that - it's the surrounding times really --- locate nearby shopping, walks, castles you REALLY want to visit ---- literally 'escapes' --- and make sure you have a room all to yourself so you can truly escape there ----- then you may even surprise yourself and have a BLAST ---- and that can all happen if you remember 3/

Thanks Molls:l Can't avoid it no, and kinda do wanna go for the craic/ getaway. Will work on the mindset and plan for now... Just been playing on me mind all day and wanted to get it out.

Must away off and soak here for a while before leaba. Sorry for buttin inta yer convo xx

Love youse'uns ya know :h

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Tuesday 9th July

mollyka;1530278 wrote: Haha --- love the bit bout wanting a drink at the thought of not wanting to want a drink at the murder mystery!!!!!

:H Is that Irish or wot?!

Nighters all xx