Question for long term Abstinencers

[gmc38609]

Hi I was just wondering how long had you stopped drinking before Alcohol was know longer in your thoughts or way of life?
The reason I ask is because when I quit cigarettes after about 6 months I could stand and talk to people smoking and it never bothered me or made me feel like I wanted one. Slowly up to that point smoking faded away from me. Now when I see someone smoking it looks a bit odd to me. I am sure part of this is the new smoking laws in the UK.
However most pubs in the UK are empty now apart from a few smokers standing outside lol So I was wondering if I should except a similar pattern now I have stopped drinking and is that how non drinkers look at people who are drinking as a bit odd ?
I still think about drink alot and all my social invites are to meet up for drinks but in 6 months I would imagine the thoughts to be gone and my social meetings will not involve drinking so when someone says are you coming out fro a drink do you think that's an odd thing to do just drinking and nothing else lol Is that how it works?
Just a thought folks :O)

[treetops]

Question for long term Abstinencers

I don't think you can make a hard and fast rule as people are individual and it depends on their bodies, culture, how much they were drinking, and possibly other variables like age. Many of the long term abstainers will tell you that you always have to be vigilent and just because you don't think about drinking - and it doesn't bother you - it does not mean that you will not have 'twinges' or stronger cravings. Social pressure also varies between us all - some are more susceptible than others - and many are facing much stronger pressures and stress than others.
Some can just quit = others need to have months or years of strong support from counsellors,doctors groups (AA or other non 12 step) and/or medication. Family support is pretty crucial but then we have people on MWO who are AF long-term and live with active alkies who want drinking buddies.
I quit 9 months ago today and I would say that around 3 months of being AF I stopped being bothered by AL - for most of the time - but not always. My biggest trigger was walking into the supermarket - where wine is cheaply and easily available in NZ. My other trigger was myself - so social situations with AL did not bother much and I can handle these easily.
As I said we are all different and whats important is to not assume that you are free of the beast - the bastard comes calling to you in many guises.

[Sunbeam]

Question for long term Abstinencers

I have no desire to drink now, and I haven't for quite some time. The thought occasionally floats through my brain, but then I say, "Nah, I don't want to." Drinking at some level is more normal than smoking. I really don't place any judgement on people who have one or two drinks. More than that then I think they have a problem. I don't find them odd, I just feel sad for them.

[sugarbeat]

Question for long term Abstinencers

I'm coming on 11 months and as it is I haven't had a desire for a drink in a long long time, its very personal I suppose but for me I keep in touch through here, aftercare, reading books and meetings with the fact that I am an alcoholic and I can play it forward very quickly as to how it will turn out for me. Suppose my thoughts and attitude to it is changing, and my reliance on it has passed. I don't mind others drinking, I have been to every occasion you can imagine, don't particularly like it when people cross the very drunk line, I don't enjoy their company at that stage and thats when I bale out, no judgement just no on the same page anymore. Oh it would be great to be able to drink normally but I just can't and I think I've grieved enough for it. hang in there it does get easier

[199days]

Question for long term Abstinencers

Think its all to do with mindset and how you look at the drugs you was taking and how you look at other people taking them.

Stopped smoking 2003 (30 a day) after reading Alan Carr, it explained to me that I was not missing nothing. Smoking was easy to stop, sorry to sound smug but after reading and "Getting it" it was really easy.

Been sober 18 months now, tried lots of times over last 6 years various stints and times. Read the Jason Vale book this time, really helped much in the same way as Alan Carr, I feel liberated now and very smug and cool that I do not drink as all the herds of sheep around me do.

I have had some real rocky times in the 18 months, but grinded through it because i know drinking gives you NOTHING, the whole thing is just BS brainwashing and conditioning , just think the drink through and where it leads, it always leads back to hangovers remorse and regrets, always no matter how you try and moderate or convince yourself thing where not that bad. Sober is cool.

[gmc38609]

Question for long term Abstinencers

I found giving up smoking easy and I also read the Jason Vale book and stopped drinking easily for 6 weeks and went to a party panicked when someone offered me a drink and was back on it.
So now I am using Antabuse to help stop drinking and knowing I cant drink is quite liberating if that is the right word. I really don't want to pass on these habits to my child and have her go through life addicted to anything apart from life. I want her to think people who smoke and drink alot as unusual and strange rather than normal like I did

[Byrdlady]

Question for long term Abstinencers

Hey gmc, I know the question you are asking....I had it myself. I seem to be slow to adopt new things, took me a year to finally quit, and then I'd read around on the boards how well everyone was doing....but I still had that longing feeling that I was missing out. I'd see people months behind me further along mentally. But it seems when I got to the 9 month mark, I was in a good place at last. I guess that is the part of the grieving process where I finally accepted it. It's like any other grieving we do for a long one, it takes time to work thru all the stages...but finally does happen!! B