Just Curious...

[Bluebell]

Today, I spoke up about something I felt strongly about. I then, on reflection, deleted it (monthly abs).

Since then, I have had no less than 5 PMs from members, well respected members, saying "you go girl"..."I wish I had said that" "you said just what I thought"... "totally agree", etc, etc.

Now, my thoughts are... okay, I put myself forward (albeit for a few minutes, then deleted)... if everyone so agreed.... why was there no public show of support/back up? Why was everyone else afraid to go public with their true feelings?

I feel a bit of a scapegoat.

That's all.

I might have a break from here for a while. Probably putting too much time and importance on here (my own doing).

I still have a strong feeling of bonding with my friends here but why do I feel a wee bit let down?

[betty boop]

Just Curious...

Bluebell,

I havent a clue what you posted but would just like to say 'don't leave' I love reading your posts, you are a joy to have around xx

[nancy]

Just Curious...

it killed the cat

What were the true feelings? sounds controversial. now i am curious.

nancy

[Guest]

Just Curious...

ohhh, blue I didn't read your post. Never be sorry for how your feeling or what you have to say. You have a great deal of wisdom and insight, I also am becoming a little to dependant on this site. Starting to wonder if I'm switching onr behaviour for another. I think your imput is valuable. I will admit there are cliques on here and it is easy to feel left out. I tend to read current discussion or starting out more than anything else. I say don't leave and I pledge to read everything you post and share my opinion. Don't be down
I care
mary

[Guest]

Just Curious...

Quick question Bluebell, did you delete it yourself?
Mar

[dilayne]

Just Curious...

HI Blue, I didn't read the post but from what Mary has said, I think I can imagine what was said..and the truth is, it's probably been said and felt before by others. Personally, I experience 'things' by being here, but how I experience it is really not unfamiliar to how I feel in other groups..so it's been interestesting for me to observe myself and how I feel I fit in or not.

Don't leave..being here IS being in relationship with people, which means running the risk of 'stuff' coming up for us. We can't change how people are (anywhere), but we do get the chance to change how we react to them..and we get to look at it and learn from it...It's all good dear, please don't take your gifts away.
Namaste!
Di

[Bluebell]

Just Curious...

Yes Simey, I deleted it myself.

I spoke up because I felt so strongly that someone had said some things that were so derogatory and condescending to someone who I think is a really good, grown up, person. I felt like this other person was being a bully under the guise of giving guidance.

I wish I hadn't deleted. But I did because I didn't want to bring more attention to the person who it was aimed at .... although I guess that's what I am doing now.

My grievance, I suppose, is that why, if a certain amount of people who saw my post, agreed with me, why did they not post accordingly? Is it a case of let someone else put their heads on the guillotine?

I notice now that the person who instigated these feelings of unjustness in me (and others), has also deleted.

[Bluebell]

Just Curious...

I must add that I have no problems on how I "fit in" or not.

My problem is with feeling that I was not backed up publicly. It's all very well being a respected member of this community (not talking about myself by the way) but if there is going to be a lot of tittle tattle behind the scenes and letting others stick their necks out and take the rap while others seemingly sit on the fence ...... well, that's not for me.

That's all.

[Guest]

Just Curious...

Darling It's like every great idea; yeah you go ahead and try it. If it works yeah!! we had your back all along! If it fails oh we told you not to do that!! human nature. I had a similar one in chat where one member was laying one member out to twist in the wind, without that member being there to defend theirself. It is just childish and unfortunatley some people have to grow in more ways than one. I understand how you felt unsupported. It really wasn't fair.
You Smile big today ..OK
Mar

[Bluebell]

Just Curious...

Thanks Simey, I really appreciate your input.

SMILING BIG!

Thanks.

[Breez]

Just Curious...

Hi BB-

You know that those that post at Monthly are usually the same olds and you really should not have deleted that mssg. The rest of the troop was just still napping-I guarantee the other side of the US is still sleeping while I'm writing this. I read the posts this morning and was wondering what was going on in the middle when there was some kind of conversation between a few people & your deleted post. You wrote it 12:42a.m. (my time) so there was no time for me to read it/back you up/respond~ so I'm sticking up for some of the other fellow abbers(who post there religiously) that were sleeping while you posted.

[lushy]

Just Curious...

Hey Blue, I will stand up and say I was one of those members who PMd you in support because I wholeheartedly agreed with what you wrote. The reason I did not post on the thread (and I suppose I could have kept it at a simple, "I agree with you Blue") was because I was worried I was going to post something inappropriate that would further incite things and prolong the issue which would have served no purpose.

I am sorry you felt like you left out to hang, but I do understand. It has happened to me before (on more than one occasion) where I felt like I was the only "bad guy" although I knew I had support behind the scenes. Next time I will show my support publicly.

[gabby]

Just Curious...

The early bird always gets the worm. And then theres me. I miss out on everything!
I am always late.....I dont know what I am gonna do when I have to get a real job.
very big sigh....

[skootiemom]

Just Curious...

Hey Bluebell,

Never feel bad about adressing your concerns on here. Your post drums up memories of a post I made once... and I will continue to make such posts if I have an issue. I may not be a "Senior Member" ( lol) on here, but have been here daily for 7 months, and damn it, I am entitled to make my observations as I see fit! The 'aftermath' of such a post can be both positive and negative... but mostly a part of the learning process, which is always good.

One piece of advice ~ I love the boards for bringing up overall general issues, but I have to say, it is not an appropriate place to single out members who trouble you. If you have an issue with one particular member- PM them personally, or if they were that off side, let RJ know and the matter can be dealth with privately. If she feels it is appropriate to warn us of a member who's conduct is inappropriate, she will let us know as she has done in the past.

Anyways, did not read your post, don't agree with everything here, but hey.... that's OKAY!

Skoots

[Guest]

Just Curious...

I missed the whole thing on this one... I did not even see it.