I love my son

[MossRose]

I normally post in the newbie section, but tonight, I need advice from those who have gotten to the other side. Did anyone here ever lose a child's love and respect because of drinking? I had something happen tonight that made me want to reach for a bottle of wine so badly that I am struggling even now. My youngest son is being very distant and evasive. I needed his help tonight, but when I called him , he completely ignored me. I am not going to go into details right now because I'm raw and my heart is breaking. Any advice on how to repair this relationship? Thank you.

MR

[NoSugar]

I love my son

Hi, MossRose

I'm sorry you are so sad. Your son probably will need time to believe that the new you is the real you. Stay AF and at some point he'll realize that he can trust his mom not to drink :l.

You are wanting a glass of wine right now to escape what wine caused. This is a hopeless cycle. I saw and posted a quote the other day that describes it pretty well:

Addiction is chasing the relief that maintains the distress.

If you drank, the relief would be temporary and you'd not be the mom you want to be and your son needs.

Stay close, Moss Rose. After AL is gone, the rest can be clearly handled.

:h NS

[MossRose]

I love my son

Thanks NS. I can't stop crying right now. Your kindness means a lot to me. And I know your advice is sound. I will stay the course. Promise. Just having a really bad night tonight. Mother guilt, ya know?

[NoSugar]

I love my son

:l:l:l
Crying is ok, MossRose. AL has hurt you and your family.
But you are escaping and setting the stage for new and better relationships.
Each day AF is a victory.

[Kradle123]

I love my son

Hi MR :l

No Sugars quote is of course, right on. AL stopped us dead in our tracks. Drinking again is just running in place.

Can I ask how old is your son?

Mine is 14 and sometimes I'm not certain that all of his hurtful behavior is due to my drinking but may also just be a part of who he is and where he is in his emotional development.

Stay close,
:h

[MossRose]

I love my son

He is 21. He was a very wayward teen. Kradle - it started when he was about 13. Those were some rough years. But he has totally straightened out his life now, and lives a healthy, clean life. I can't say what part my drinking played, but I'm sure it was a major influence. But it was also immaturity, or so he has told me.

I had really hoped that by leaving my marriage and starting over in a sober life, we could repair our relationship. The last few years of my marriage were a train wreck, full of drinking, fighting and general stupidity, Both of my sons experienced way too much. I have to live with that now. Anyway, I apologize for the rant. Yesterday just devastated me. I was stranded and needed his help. I hadn't been drinking. And, I haven't heard from him yet. Maybe I have lost him forever. I am so tired. But I won't fall. Drinking got me into this mess. I can't go back there no matter what.

[NoSugar]

I love my son

Don't apologize, MossRose. We are here to try to support you with all of this if we can -
not only the part of physically not drinking (that is the simplest part).

I hope you hear from him today. :l NS

[Nursie]

I love my son

I'm sorry moss. I have mountains of guilt. I know that staying sober and staying positive is the only way to get past it. I try to focus on the now and not what I can't change from before.
I hope things settle down for you. He will come around when he sees you are really sober
Best wishes to you and your family.