Army Thread Monday 15th July

[satz123]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

RunningCourage;1532426 wrote: morning all - quickest pop in from skiverville to say hello :hallo:
kids are the funniest of things... think it can be easy for them to hold resentment against their folks all too easily... but i wonder if this happens more so when things haven't been brought to light... thinking of my folks... i am VERY lucky with who i got as parents.... but deep down there is, i believe, an anger at them that they didn't do enough for me at one very particular point when i was growing up... but we've never spoken about it - indeed i don't beleive they even know about it, so as much as i can go to theirs have a lovely time... I am aware of an underlying tension sometimes that largely i create...

Sorry that was about me there... and i am very much aware that a) whizzy, your situation is very different... and as is yours Satz, and yours too Molls.... and b) importantly, i am also aware that I am kidless. .... BUT i do think it is about getting as much out in the open as possible.

Of course, you can't MAKE anyone understand your point of view/feelings from your place. If folks are not willing to be as empathic as possible, to see and understand things from another's point of view, that is their problem.... and unfortunately one the rest of us have to be lumped with. We can hold some peace with ourselves of course when we know we have been as empathic and as open minded as possible to where people are in our lives in relation to ourselves.

make sense?

Fucking hell. You'd think i was doing Today's Thought for the Day or summat :H:H:H

NO Froglet !
It is GREAT to get the 'kids' perspective on things :l - I am always preaching about "2 sides to every story"
Now I have to go off 'thinking' Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :gramps:

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

mollyka;1532429 wrote:

Jackie - that wasn't a dream --- that was a MIRACLE!!! Me cleaning a carpet!!!!!!

You did have a special wee miracle spray can.

mollyka;1532429 wrote:
Did feel mildly tearful yesterday has to be said Jacks - but as he was regaling me with his own relationship problems I decided 'discretion is the better part of valour':H

I'd have had to jump on him with both feet, bugger his relationship. You're a stronger woman than me.

[satz123]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

mollyka;1532431 wrote: Oh DEFINITELY --- on any one day I can spot a couple of hundred of them.... no seriously -- (the hypocrisy of me!!) if we're in company and someone is obviously gagging for a 3rd glass of wine when the rest are obviously only planning on having two --- I have them incarcerated in the Rutland Centre in my head!!!
Tho - on the other hand - I turned the blind eye when I WAS drinking, codded myself that 'everyone' drank the same - but in truth most people don't --- twirling a lukewarm glass of lager for an hour seems to be more the norm. for lots
Are you worried bout the bro?

Oh he is DEFFO there Molls. But we don't see much of him - he rarely shows his face - but ..... yes even when I was drinking he stood out as being a heavy drinker. That yucky stale smell in the morning / the shakes etc that everyone chooses to ignore.
I mentioned it to DD and 'course she was on the ' heavy drinking family - what hope do I have' bandwagon again ........... FFS.
So you can see why I will not have these discussions with her ?

[satz123]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

JackieClaire;1532430 wrote: Morning Sir D'arsey




I was better at it when I was actively drinking. One of the biggest clues is someone who looks at the ABV on a bottle of wine and laughs loud and long at an 8%.

Anything less that 13.5 was pisswater wine to me - :H

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

mollyka;1532429 wrote:

How wise ---- again!!!! And yeah - we can look up and down the generations, I blame mine and my kids blame me..... I was eaten up for a long time by my parents lack of action re. bullying --- FFS --- just had to tell myself to get a grip --- the feckin stories some people have -- my miseries are truly small fry!!! It IS good to get things out tho Arsey - providing it doesn't cause unneccessary hurt to the other person --- that's one of the 12 steps achully..... sort of..... not very good at them:H

How do we know what is and what is not unnecessary hurt? I mean, if by being honest we hurt another person because the truth hurts... is that unnecessary? And if things are ticking along in the grand of scheme of things, even if one person has this thing niggling away and dont know whether to be honest, or whether even to be honest because it might hurt another, does that person stay hush forever and a day?

I am thinking of myself here

A man has an affair behind his wife's back. it was one night. no more. and he regretted it from the moment the act had be done. 20 years later he still has not told his wife. their marriage is strong and they have, say, a kid or two, grown up and relatively successful. But he still feels a sense where he needs to tell his wife. it niggles and gnaws at him - a corrosive guilt that he has covered up all these years. she will of course we incredibly hurt if he owns up. unecessary so? if she is happy, and he is happy, despite this mildly gnawing sense that he ought to tell her, does he tell her, or does he leave life as it is?

This is not my situation, just trying to find an example - totally made up!!

Totally fucking skiving now :H:H

[satz123]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

X- post :waving: Ms Jackser !

[satz123]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

RunningCourage;1532438 wrote: How do we know what is and what is not unnecessary hurt? I mean, if by being honest we hurt another person because the truth hurts... is that unnecessary? And if things are ticking along in the grand of scheme of things, even if one person has this thing niggling away and dont know whether to be honest, or whether even to be honest because it might hurt another, does that person stay hush forever and a day?

I am thinking of myself here

A man has an affair behind his wife's back. it was one night. no more. and he regretted it from the moment the act had be done. 20 years later he still has not told his wife. their marriage is strong and they have, say, a kid or two, grown up and relatively successful. But he still feels a sense where he needs to tell his wife. it niggles and gnaws at him - a corrosive guilt that he has covered up all these years. she will of course we incredibly hurt if he owns up. unecessary so? if she is happy, and he is happy, despite this mildly gnawing sense that he ought to tell her, does he tell her, or does he leave life as it is?

This is not my situation, just trying to find an example - totally made up!!

Totally fucking skiving now :H:H

That example - NO!
He should just man-up - forget it - WHY is he carrying it around FFS - and don't be trying to assuage his guilt by hurting the wife !! NOOOOOOO!
Selfish GIT ! Who is he I'll :bat: him !

Now you Froglet - it's different - you were a kid - you just want an answer to why something happened.
Say it to them now :l- you will find there is definitely '2 sides to every story '

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

satz123;1532435 wrote: Oh he is DEFFO there Molls. But we don't see much of him - he rarely shows his face - but ..... yes even when I was drinking he stood out as being a heavy drinker. That yucky stale smell in the morning / the shakes etc that everyone chooses to ignore.
I mentioned it to DD and 'course she was on the ' heavy drinking family - what hope do I have' bandwagon again ........... FFS.
So you can see why I will not have these discussions with her ?

Bless him. I haven't half got a soft spot for alkies. Sounds like you've got an elephant in the room. Every thing he's doing there is what I did. Very rarely when I was at the height of my drinking did I turn up at dos.
Reason 1: I was either too hungover and stank of booze
Reason 2: I would drink my body weight in all available booze and no body would mention it...........apart from those little remarks like 'Oooooooh you enjoyed yourself yesterday'.

I'd say my brother was what you'd call a heavy drinker but his life doesn't revolve round alcohol. He's got too many other things to do.

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

satz123;1532441 wrote: That example - NO!
He should just man-up - forget it - WHY is he carrying it around FFS - and don't be trying to assuage his guilt by hurting the wife !! NOOOOOOO!
Selfish GIT ! Who is he I'll :bat: him !

Now you Froglet - it's different - you were a kid - you just want an answer to why something happened.
Say it to them now :l- you will find there is definitely '2 sides to every story '

OK -shit other example:H

As for me.... aye... well youse'll know about it if it happens. might be froglet tears.... :new:

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

satz123;1532436 wrote: Anything less that 13.5 was pisswater wine to me - :H

Hate to tell you this Satz, but the UK advise on moderation is 2 small glasses of 8% wine 2 or 3 times a week. Yes I said 8%.

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

RunningCourage;1532438 wrote: How do we know what is and what is not unnecessary hurt? I mean, if by being honest we hurt another person because the truth hurts... is that unnecessary? And if things are ticking along in the grand of scheme of things, even if one person has this thing niggling away and dont know whether to be honest, or whether even to be honest because it might hurt another, does that person stay hush forever and a day?

I am thinking of myself here

A man has an affair behind his wife's back. it was one night. no more. and he regretted it from the moment the act had be done. 20 years later he still has not told his wife. their marriage is strong and they have, say, a kid or two, grown up and relatively successful. But he still feels a sense where he needs to tell his wife. it niggles and gnaws at him - a corrosive guilt that he has covered up all these years. she will of course we incredibly hurt if he owns up. unecessary so? if she is happy, and he is happy, despite this mildly gnawing sense that he ought to tell her, does he tell her, or does he leave life as it is?

This is not my situation, just trying to find an example - totally made up!!

Totally fucking skiving now :H:H

Gawd if Sir Pee came out with that he'd need more than crutches.

At the end of the day (how can you tell footie season's about to start) instead of one person feeling a bit shit. You have one person devastated and the other feeling a complete shit.

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

JackieClaire;1532446 wrote: Hate to tell you this Satz, but the UK advise on moderation is 2 small glasses of 8% wine 2 or 3 times a week. Yes I said 8%.

:wow: ...

I did like my 14% Rioja

[Wagoneer]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

Morning all - today is the start of another heat wave/humidity wave in Philly. The city will be filled with cranky, stinky people. Good thing I work and hour and a half away, right? lol My hair will arrive at work about 10 minutes before me. Not enough product in the world to calm that mess down....

Hope everyone has a great day

Waggy

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

RunningCourage;1532450 wrote: :wow: ...

I did like my 14% Rioja

Now if someone could take all the gumph of the top of the chest I keep all me alcohol stuff in I could tell you how much beer or lager you could have 2 or 3 times a week.

Ooh and you must have at least 2 days a week alcohol free.

[satz123]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

JackieClaire;1532442 wrote: Bless him. I haven't half got a soft spot for alkies. Sounds like you've got an elephant in the room. Every thing he's doing there is what I did. Very rarely when I was at the height of my drinking did I turn up at dos.
Reason 1: I was either too hungover and stank of booze
Reason 2: I would drink my body weight in all available booze and no body would mention it...........apart from those little remarks like 'Oooooooh you enjoyed yourself yesterday'.

I'd say my brother was what you'd call a heavy drinker but his life doesn't revolve round alcohol. He's got too many other things to do.

It's not acceptable though JC. He live 20 minutes from his mother & never calls. She may see him 4 times a year !
He works 10 mins away FFS and doesn't even drop over at lunchtime or after work ....
alko or not he should visit his mother who lives alone !:bat: