Army Thread Monday 15th July

[Recluse]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

satz123;1532421 wrote: :hiya: Recstar

:dog:get the dog : get the dog: get the dog :get the dog ::dog:

Have to say, listening to the talk about family relationships, I'm fairly comfortable with the fact that I don't have a family of my own. Don't think I would be very comfortable dealing with all the family dynamics, but that's more a reflection of my personality rather than anything else. So maybe I'll just get the dog instead...

Was wondering...do people learn their parenting skills from their experiences as a child with their own parents or do folks maybe learn how not to parent from those same experiences?

[Recluse]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

RunningCourage;1532628 wrote: i had a bonkers dream last night - about seeing a bus trying to pass under a bridge that it was too tall for, smashing the roof off in the process to the horror of the passengers.

Xpost arsey :hallo: At least you remembered your dream!

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

Recluse;1532631 wrote: Have to say, listening to the talk about family relationships, I'm fairly comfortable with the fact that I don't have a family of my own. Don't think I would be very comfortable dealing with all the family dynamics, but that's more a reflection of my personality rather than anything else. So maybe I'll just get the dog instead...

Was wondering...do people learn their parenting skills from their experiences as a child with their own parents or do folks maybe learn how not to parent from those same experiences?

tbh, and as one without children i am in really no place to add a thought here, but i don't think you know until you do it. until that day the baby lands in your life, you can only guess what kind of parenting you would do...

if i ever did become a parent i would hope that i would take the best of me and add a dash of Kahil Gibran's thoughts on parenting... inevitably it would have aspects of my own parents parenting and what i did or did not like about it...

anyway, don't we all end up becoming out mothers, whatever the parenting?! :egad: :wow: :H

[anon]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

Recluse;1532631 wrote: Have to say, listening to the talk about family relationships, I'm fairly comfortable with the fact that I don't have a family of my own. Don't think I would be very comfortable dealing with all the family dynamics, but that's more a reflection of my personality rather than anything else. So maybe I'll just get the dog instead...

Was wondering...do people learn their parenting skills from their experiences as a child with their own parents or do folks maybe learn how not to parent from those same experiences?

Been trying to answer this one!

We do not mean to learn our parenting skills from our parents but unfortunately we seem to make the same mistakes they made with our own offspring and the booze often magnifies the problem.

Feeling better with my family at the moment but still got lots of petty resentments with anyone that seems to upset me and instead of keeping it in I tell them. For example a leader at our club is talk ing about others behind their backs and I have just confronted him.
Can you imagine the repercussions now:upset:

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

mollyka;1532652 wrote: And yes- we DO turn into our mothers -

:H ... ive been known to say speaking to my mother is like speaking to a mirror of myself... and it can be the things that annoy me about her that actually i see in myself...

[Recluse]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

Interesting answers

mollyka;1532649 wrote: Wow that's brave mrsA!!! Respect to you!!!!
What she said!

mollyka;1532649 wrote: ...Funny thing - my mum had a fall out with her parents and siblings and swore THAT was the ONE THING she wouldn't let happen with her own children - ill say no more!!!

I really don't know what to say to that. It's a very interesting example of how difficult it must be to be a parent.

mollyka;1532652 wrote: And yes- we DO turn into our mothers -

God I hope not! Mine talks non-stop. :upset:

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

WARNING... MEGA-POST!!!

anon;1532409 wrote:
Struggling a bit here probably due to the warm weather and reminders of summer glasses of wine in the garden etc. Also still stressed re having my family around so much reminding me of my inadequate parenting (unsaid but implied)

You know Whizzy, I reckon the two things are related. Do you think you should stand up to them and say "Look, that was then and this is now"? It's not fair to be constantly reminded of your previous shortcomings... you've changed all that so let's all move on ya know... :l It's also not fair for Mr A to keep at you to have a drink... he needs to understand your situation better. Why the heck is he so bothered at you not drinking? Does it reflect on him and his consumption? (

mollyka;1532419 wrote:

Yes, she did - didn't she!! (well in my case - deffo NOT the bit bout 'have one glass') It's very demoralising really.
I was extremely upset by one convo adam and I had yesterday --- we were talking about my room-mate from Aiseiri - she's a truly lovely girl -- and sooo organised - even in her drinking days -- he's met her a few times as well which makes what he said even worse.... I was talking about the banks and telling him how she was turned down recently for a car loan - he just said - 'ah sure she probably owes money all over the place - you know, got pissed and forgot about it' ----- and of course as I turn everything into about MMMMMMEEEEEE - the implication to me was that that's what he thinks about me....... just horrible really -

Ach Mollers, c'mere... :l You can't be looking back like that and letting the guilt creep in. You need to acknowledge where you're at NOW and pat yourself on the back. And the next time he says something like that ask him "Is that what you think of me?"... that might clue him in to his insensitivity.

Obviously Mollers, Whizzy and Satz have the same kind of guilt trips being laid on them by the sprogs. And I reckon (although I?m not a mum) that it?s best to stand up for yourselves and tell them to pipe down? said with love of course! ;o) I don?t think it?s necessary to have your feelings hurt over and over again? doesn?t gain anything for anyone. You?re making good on your past discrepancies now and youse are only human after all. Just wait till they fuck up with something in their lives! It?s easy for the young folk to poo-poo their parents behavior, but they haven?t really walked the road of life yet.

I couldn?t help but think about my situation with my own ma and her various addictions. You know, the worst problem was not the grog but her inability to behave like an adult. My childhood was pretty crap in a lot of ways because of her? I had nobody to depend on at all, was confused as hell, and had no siblings to share it with. After about 10 or 11 years old I was the adult in our family of two. Still though, I don?t rub her nose in it now. I remain disappointed about the molestations and the fact that she didn?t protect me but I?ve managed to let the rest go, for the most part. I don?t know if it will ever really be ?gone? though. Honestly? I think your sprogs fared a lot better than I did. I can?t say I turned out FABULOUS but I?m still here amn?t I?! So I reckon they?ll be just fine? XXX

JackieClaire;1532433 wrote:
I'd have had to jump on him with both feet, bugger his relationship. You're a stronger woman than me.

:H Been taking more lessons at the School of Torture, have weeee?!

Arsey? I totally agree with your ?Thought for the Day?? Ye can lead a horse to water but ye cannae make it drink. Re your subsequent ?parable? ) ? I think some things are best left unsaid. I don?t like dishonesty but sometimes being honest at all costs can bring it?s own set of issues. It?s a very fine line that one? Having said that, if something happened to you as a kid and you?ve been silent all this time? well I think you can air your thoughts and feelings without it being an attack on your folks? know what I mean? Just a ?clearing of the air? type deal?

Reccy? Did you get the garage done? I did mine before I went to Scotland and it was a BUGGER of a job? ( You?ll love having the freezer. (Feck, we were talking about that YONKS ago! Time to get the shagging thing!) ;o)

Tipps? Glad you?re un-en-cub-ered now that they?re back at skool? )

Foxy Loxy? Glad you?re internet is sorted! And I like the new avatar? very neat.

Satz? Wondering what goes on in that office when Noseyhole is AWOL? I can imagine you with your feet up on the desk opening Skiverville throwing paper airplanes at his empty chair? )

Waggy? Bad hair day?! Same crapola down here in South Florida? I stick mine up in a clip and call it a fait accompli.

Sugarbeat? Never evah heard of St. Swithins Day. I reckon you Oirish make ?em up as ye go along to get holidays? ;o)

Recluse;1532631 wrote: Have to say, listening to the talk about family relationships, I'm fairly comfortable with the fact that I don't have a family of my own. Don't think I would be very comfortable dealing with all the family dynamics, but that's more a reflection of my personality rather than anything else. So maybe I'll just get the dog instead...

Was wondering...do people learn their parenting skills from their experiences as a child with their own parents or do folks maybe learn how not to parent from those same experiences?
IMHO, we definitely learn from our parents. The way I see my situation, I never had a man in my life as a child (except my uncle) so I had to "learn" how to behave in a relationship and I'm far from perfect now. As for the "mother and father" scenario... no clue me. Never seen it growing up so I have nothing to emulate. I also didn't have little sisters or brothers. I'm a great fur-parent to the kitties but I have no idea how I would be with a child. And now I will never know!

RunningCourage;1532637 wrote:
anyway, don't we all end up becoming out mothers, whatever the parenting?

Oh fuck. No, I don?t think so. In fact... NO, DEFINITELY NOT! :wow:

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

Oh that last one got me in such a dither I forgot me own update...

Weather - lovely and sunny!
Activities - cleaned a shite load of old clothes out and taking them to the charity shop. Cleaning. Laundry. Still haven't done the ironing... :H
Mood - not too bad except now I'm worrying about turning into me Ma.
Food - grilling two pieces of very nice tuna for dinner with salad... how bloody healthy is that?
In the next hour - going to the stores.

Zenstyle reported for duty at 18.19 hours GMT!

Edit: Orf out, hopefully catch someone around later. If not, have a good rest of yer day... X

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

Evening all,

Today's history lesson (which I've just found out myself) is all about St Swithin.

Swithun (or Swithin, Old English: Swī?hūn; died c. 862) was an Anglo-Saxon bishop of Winchester and subsequently patron saint of Winchester Cathedral. His historical importance as bishop is overshadowed by his reputation for posthumous miracle-working. According to tradition, the weather on his feast day (15 July) will continue for forty days. The precise meaning and origin of Swithin's name is unknown, but it is largely considered to mean 'Pig Man'.[1] Another possible meaning is "strong".

Gawd, rearing a children. Mine have turned out remarkably normal. Even though me and me mother couldn't abide each other her advise was spot on most of the time. If I ever turn into my mother you have permission to stick a pillow over my face for a long, long time.

And lewk at you Our Whizzy, where has our quiet little girl gone. She's all growed up.:goodjob:

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

JackieClaire;1532671 wrote: Evening all,

Gawd, rearing a children. Mine have turned out remarkably normal. Even though me and me mother couldn't abide each other her advise was spot on most of the time. If I ever turn into my mother you have permission to stick a pillow over my face for a long, long time.

That should have read her advise about bringing up my kids was spot on. Not advise on anything else.

[tiptronic_ct]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

:hallo: folksies

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

:hallo: Tippers,

Wass for dinner?

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

So it was you that just floated past the window.

[tiptronic_ct]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

mollyka;1532679 wrote: Yeah Tipps wots for dinner? Has to b better dan soggy sandwiches - YUCK!!!!! :-(((((

Moroccan chicken, potato wedges with onion bits, salad.

Whispers for afters.

Still busy with a batch of jam as well. Should be ready to bottle just around bedtime :H

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 15th July

Noice.

Chicken here as well with salady stuff.