Hi. I haven't posted on the site in quite some time but find inspiration and support from everyone here. I have been doing well with my sobriety. I am a binge drinker. I can go for months without any al but I get too confident and think I can have one drink which leads to many. Anyway, my dh and I found out yesterday that he has lymphoma and possibly liver cancer (waiting on test results). This is a man that hasn't been sick a day in his life. Spent his first night in a hospital ever last night. I don't think it has really hit me yet. If he has liver cancer, his prognosis is not good. I haven't wanted to drink yet, but I know it will come. Does anyone have any strategies? I am not an AA'r but do read daily meditations and am going to try and stay busy (I have a lot of hobbies). I also have great friends and family, but it is the alone time that I am worried about.
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Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. -
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gabby, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I can only offer 2 suggestions....head on over to the Newbie's Nest...it's a busy place and always someone there to talk to....you will find comfort among friends there and we are all on the AF path!! We can help you stay that way...
The second thing is try not to go to the worst case scenario until it is word.. my dad used to call the 'borrowing trouble'. It's hard to do, but you can drive yourself nuts with that kind of thinking. Trouble with the liver hits all of us in the gut...because that's the organ we are killing when we drink like we do. Maybe this is the time to appreciate your good health and protect your liver at all costs. Killing your liver won't help his. My heart goes out to you during this difficult time of waiting...let us all hope for the very best outcome!! Strength to you....Byrdie -
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Very wise words as always Byrdie. Only thing I can add Gabby is to call on your family and friends for company and support. I once went with a friend of mine for her husbands procedures just to keep her company in the waiting room.
Stay strong and post here for support too."A good garden may have some weeds"
Thomas FullerComment
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Praying.I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.
Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.
Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.Comment
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Gabby
I am very sorry to read this. You are in my thoughts
SSLiberated 5/11/2013Comment
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Gabby, I am so sorry to read about your husband's bad news and I shudder to think about how you all must feel. You must keep doing what you are doing so far: keeping busy, keeping good friends close and looking after your man and, above all, yourself. I pray that it is not the worst case scenario but if it is your husband is going to need a fully functioning Gabby to count on. As I said, you will be in my prayers."I used to be on the guest list, but now I'm on the nest list!"
Newbies Nest:https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html
Toolbox:https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.htmlComment
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praying for your and your hubs gabby
I am a cancer SURVIVOR, by the way
it does happen....hold on to thatI love my family more than alcohol.:h
Live in the Solution....not the problemComment
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Gabby I trust understand how you feel. Sometime it feels like we can handle anything as long as it is happening to us. When it happens to someone else is when we feel powerless. Keep close to us here at mwo. There are many other people who are going through, or have been through something very similar. Shared burdens are halved burdens.
:lNo matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.Comment
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Gabby,
Are you the Gabby that used to be in subs? If so, I have really missed you!
I am so sorry to hear about your DH. Please stay close to the site for support.Comment
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Gabby hang in there, your husband needs you now, and if you're AF you can be present. Keep in mind the liver is extraordinary in that it can regenerate. Hope is absolutely necessary right now. Be there for him, forget AL, what can AL really do to help you now?Newbies Nest
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My accountability threadComment
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Gabby, these are going to be tough times for you and your Hubby, but hopefully with a good outcome. Please remember, AL is NOT a friend. He is not interested in helping anyone through tough times and only makes matters worse. Stay strong and sober and rely on real friends and each other to get you through this. Wishing you strength and sending positive healthy vibes to your husband and support to you.Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ GoetheComment
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Thanks
Thank you all for the good advice, thoughts and prayers. Dh goes for liver biopsy today. Dr. Called last night. He has adenovarcinoma with a primary tumot they haven't located yet. He said the case has all of his dr's befuddled. They have never seen anything like it. Liver biopsy today, pet scan and oncologist Monday. Gonna be a long weekend folks. Still sober, haven't hit the wall yet. I'm scared.Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.Comment
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Oh Gabby, I'm sorry this is happening. I agree with Byrdie to wait till you know what you're dealing with. I think being sober is the very best thing you can do for yourself and your husband. You can be your best self when you are sober. Sending my love and lots of sober dust your way.Day 1 again 11/5/19
Goal 1: 7 days :heartbeat:
Goal 2: 14 days :happy2:
Goal 3: 21 days :happy2:
11/27/19: messed up but back on track
12/14/19: bad doozy but back on track
One day at a time.Comment
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Lucky, the Gabby who use to be on this site...is divorced still.Meow-Meow
MonaKittyComment
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Hi gabby. I reiterate everyone's concern for your husband, but I also have a concern for you.
I think that one of the things that separates a binge drinker from an alcoholic is that binge drinkers have the capacity to care about what they are doing to themselves when things get bad and an alcoholic does not. For myself and a couple other alcoholics I know, we all have the same thing in common- a traumatic experience that pushed us to the point of saying I DON'T CARE when we picked up the bottle. For me it was a traumatic breakup involving years of cheating that had suddenly come to light and nearly flunking my classes for which I had borrowed tens if thousands of dollars against my parents' house to pay for. I was in such a state of anguish that only passing out drunk every evening could numb it.
You are right to be concerned that you're headed that direction if you pick up the bottle. Things certainly get worse. If you can't keep composure through this, check out the baclofen forum- what willpower you have to fight the urge to drink mighty be exhausted by this situation. Hang in there!Comment
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