Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

[Cinders]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

Hi, Zenners,

I tried calling and you didn't pick up. :-(

I am so sorry you are feeling so shite. Truly.

I wanted to know, just like Mollers, if you are continuing with AA or any other group? I am like you and have some issues with AA but I go anyway because it allows me to be around others like me. I have a wonderful group, though.

You need to talk to a counselor about the guilt, sweetie. Guilt is an emotion that can take you right back to drinking. You have to deal with it.

I know I am not one of your closest friends, but know I do care. Truly.

If there is anything I can do to help you, please let me know.

I will always answer your calls if I am available. Sometimes just a little chat about nothing can help you unwind and relax. I am also ready to talk about anything you are feeling plagued with.

You are an incredible woman and I very much dislike seeing you in a mental state that tells you otherwise.

As for you mum. Sit back and look at it rationally. It is not possible for you to take care of her at this point in your life.

I had been feeling a lot of guilt because I do not visit my mom as often as I think I should. My AA women's group helped me a lot with that. One of the reasons I don't visit often is that it is very heartbreaking and stressful for me. My mom was my best friend all my life. A very close relationship. Watching her slowly sink into madness is breaking my heart.

One of my friends in AA, a woman with 20+ years sobriety, told me that if visiting my mom when I am uncomfortable with it is not to my benefit for staying sober. She is right. If I fall back into drunkenness due to the stress of visiting her too often, I do not help her or myself.

That said, I do go visit her more now. And, yes, whenever I take her back to her home, and she cries and tells me I don't love her, it literally breaks my heart. I have to go sit in the car with quiet and calm down.

I hope some of this helps you think about your situation, Zenners.

Again, you are an incredible woman. Look back on your life and see what you have accomplished. Few people in this world have done or could have done what you have.

Get your butt to counseling if you can.

As for feeling as if you don't belong. I have found that overly intelligent people like you always feel somewhat outside the pale. I think you will feel that way no matter where you are. Find that good place inside you where you do belong. I know you can do that if you try.

Much love to you, my friend,
Cindi

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

Zenners, sounds like uve a lot on ur plate hun; Satz it sounds like a romance story, lol- good to get on with people u work with, sometimes even if ya could strangle them

[satz123]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

littlepinkcat;1535673 wrote: Zenners, sounds like uve a lot on ur plate hun; Satz it sounds like a romance story, lol- good to get on with people u work with, sometimes even if ya could strangle them

WELL WELL - PINKYBUM - a spot of skiving - yes ???? :goodjob:

[satz123]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

mollyka;1535674 wrote: Yo Benjy! Nah all sorts of shite goin on with them - they don't live together - she's a 'mammys girl' - Ach I can't even begin!!!! Suffice to say - Jill is bouncing at me from across the Atlantic and Laura is ignoring me and........ 'THIS TOO SHALL PASS' - very tearful this morn but ok this after!

Ah Molls- take these :l:l:l I know what you mean - we will protect your own at all costs - I KNOW!!!
Anything that upsets them - upsets us .... I fight it and with young Satz being in Oz - I don't see a lot of it. But I have been in the space of wanting to rip t'others' heads off that messed with my kids :bat:
Tell Jilly to stop bouncing off you - go bounce off someone else - there is nothing YOU can do - seeing as they are both adults .

[anon]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

:l:l:
Hugs all round. Families Parents Children Siblings

[tiptronic_ct]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

Don't forget spouses, Whizzie :H

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

satz123;1535682 wrote: WELL WELL - PINKYBUM - a spot of skiving - yes ???? :goodjob:

Hiz, im off work today, so skiving all day, LOL

[satz123]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

tiptronic_ct;1535695 wrote: Don't forget spouses, Whizzie :H

And Noseyhole work colleagues :H

[satz123]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

I think this is just a brilliant quote : in thanks to Dr Ameisen and his work with Bac. and how it's changed so many lives. Wish I could leave a legacy like that at 60

.......how infinitesimally small, in the big picture of things, was the chance that I am free from drinking against my will through Dr. Ameisen's life. It brought this to mind, from Don Juan's teachings to Carlos Casteneda.

"All of us, whether we are warriors or not, have a cubic centimeter of chance that pops out in front of our eyes from time to time. The difference between a warrior and an average man is that a warrior is aware of this, and one of his tasks is to be alert, deliberately waiting, so that when his cubic centimeter pops up he has the necessary speed, the prowess, to pick it up."

I am speechless at the wonder that Dr. Ameisen so courageously picked up his cubic centimeter of chance - that his entire life had prepared hum for - thereby alerting me to a cubic centimeter of chance. and now, I never have to drink like that again.

[satz123]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

"Alone Again : Naturally" :notes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_P-v1BVQn8[/video]]Gilbert O'Sullivan - Alone Again (original version) - YouTube


Gilbert O'Sullivan circa 1976 ?
Off to goggle ..........................zooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooom!

[satz123]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

1973 :egad:

Thanks Mr Goggle :goodjob:

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

Does Mr Goggle know you are googling him? Or do you wear special goggles when you google mr Goggle? And do you think Mr Goggle has special goggles when he googles and do you think he knows we goggle at him through our goggly eyes every time he googles?

Just wondering, that's all...

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

Evening Brig :bow:

Orf to run - VERY humid and NO wind :egad: = can't be fucked :H Ach - i'll feel much better by 8.30pm when the whistle blows to stop.

Zenny - hmmm... I thinks what Molls and Satz and Cindi have all said is good stuff. I know it aint any help, but i really just want to throw you one of these:

And yes it is and yes you can :l

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

:hallo:

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

Thanks for the responses guys... X

I had a 9.30 Doc?s appointment then went to say bye to CherMum and came home and slept? I feel loads better now, mostly from getting it off my chest on the thread earlier. What is it with over thinking things in the wee small hours? How the hell many times have I done that? (

Yeah, I guess like Mollers said, it is common really? the guilt. I obviously amn?t the only one that feels that way about her mother. The therapist and I worked on the issue for quite a bit before I went over to Scotland and I need to put into practice everything we talked about. (Cindi? yeah, already done the counseling for it and now I need to bear in mind what I learned? and thanks for being there for me today. :l My ringer was off at the Docs... I?ll PM you and hopefully we can catch up tomorrow.)

And I guess it?s normal to be homesick for a while after coming back too so I?m just going to accept that for what it is. And I guess it's only normal to feel a bit ?odd man out-ish? over here? I was raised in an entirely different culture after all. Being home just heightened that feeling when I got back. Like Cindi says, I'd be better off looking within to find that feeling of belonging? (or move to France so Satz can visit). )

I'm not sure why I'm so closed off these days though... maybe I've had so much therapy and soul searching that I needed to just "be"? I really don?t know on that score but I do know I need to go back to opening up/talking more on the thread. Keeping things bottled up inside can become a habit? very quickly in fact.

And thanks for the hug Mr D?Arsey? ) :l

Deep breaths have been taken and calm is being restored...

You know, that whole deal with the rehab was all about them making money out of addicts I'm afraid. The IOP programme, aftercare and therapy is something I got myself into... it wasn't part of the programme... the pair that owned the rehab didn't give a crap what happened to us at the end of our stint there. (The feller was Irish btw...) :wow: Mollers? set-up is much kinder and more efficient for the addict. To be honest, I'm not big on sharing in AA and the Aftercare programme was dismal... just too many women for it to be useful for everyone... 1 ? hours and over 20 women? kinda hard to get a word in edgeways! The therapist I had is pregnant and having a rough trot of it and has stopped so I?m flying solo now, as it were. I think I'm going to look into getting another therapist and some women?s group counseling.

I have a 2.30 appointment so I've got to run... but thanks guys... you're the best. XXX