Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

:wavin: Jacks... maybe catch you a bit later... X

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

Sorry I was a fat lot of good about your Ma, Zennifer. You know the the relationship I had with mine.
My kids owe me nothing and since they've been told that we get on a whole load better. When I say owe me nothing our Jenz owes ?22 and if she doesn't hurry up I'll start charging interest.

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

Hello there Molls,

Yep stopping drinking was the easy bit for moi, staying stopped has always been the problem.

I feel this time round the block it's been a lot more comfortable.

[Anjicia]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

Evening army. Ahh sorry you're going tru a bit of crisis Zen not much I can add to what the others have said. Its good you talked it out here I hope that helped a bit and you can find a good therapist/counciling that can help you further. I had a nice afternoon In Greystones a small seaside village in North Wicklow not far by bus from me. I went for a walk along the seafront and harbour and had a coffee outside a bar/restaurant sitting outside watching the boats and people strolling by. Got some nice sunny spells in between the clouds lol. Wandered round the shops after and ended up in a charity shop and there was a half price sale on so I got 2 cds for an euro each and a grey batwing cardigan reduced from 4euro to 2 euro so was delighted wit me bargains. Suns out now again.

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

Nice one, Foxy.

Thinking of going to a meeting Monday night. In need of a bit of Ooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmness methinks.

[InChains]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

hey, hope everybody's well, have moved into the wifes, they're gonna clear a room for me so i have my own space and i'll be staying here until uni. 3 gigs booked already for september-november. been doing better emotionally, mother's accepted the move but still struggling with a few things. drinkings escalated again to about 5 beers (not much to some but too much to me) plus cigarettes and back to smoking pot pretty regularly. got about 7 weeks til i move and would love to get this under control before then - no idea how.

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

Zenstyle;1535733 wrote:

I'm not sure why I'm so closed off these days though... maybe I've had so much therapy and soul searching that I needed to just "be"? I really don?t know on that score but I do know I need to go back to opening up/talking more on the thread. Keeping things bottled up inside can become a habit? very quickly in fact.

Hey Zenster... So i don't have an answer to this one... but the reason i highlight it is because i can do that thing too... close off... shut down.... feel a bit bemused. It begs so many questions that some may ask ourselves: am i shutting off, or am protecting myself while i go through things, and these things have muted me a little... or maybe i am changing? is this a new me? but what about the fun old me? the care free me? the out-there me? why am i not reaching out to join in, be a part of, entertain as i once did? Is it cos i is getting older? Perhaps. But others my age are all out there doing stuff... why am i both wanting to be there and yet similarly disinclined to be there? Why wont I phone x to see how they are? why don't I phone people as much as i used to? Actually, why don't i phone people? Actually, why am i paying Orange so many bucks a month for a phone i hardly use?!?! :H

There's a paradox - the more soul searching, the more inclined we can be to become more inward looking and by dint of the fact that we are looking out less, that we become less engaged with the world around us ... even if we feel we are getting to know ourselves more. So the more we want to understand ourselves and our ways with the world, by looking into ourselves, taking time out to think about it we CAN (though it aint necessarily the case by any means) inadvertently lose contact with the world... become distant ... which in turn may rear all the voices in the head that ask all the questions such as the ones above.

Is there an answer? You, Zenny, already know it. It's just about making sure you're doing it. And i think you're right about the bottling up. For someone who gives so much and takes time to answer and listen to people on the thread, you need also to let us throw some words and emoticons and PM's of support, advice, reassurance, suggestions etc. This thread - and i think we are so very lucky to have found the Army thread as a home, though i am absolutely and unashamedly biased, is filled with a vast array of different peeps with different ideas, backgrounds and experiences... and we are all here to throw a hug, lend a hand, offer answers from big thinks. Tipps, Reccy, JC, Molls, Whizzy, Dr Benj, Peapanties, Foxy, Cindi, Inchy, Waggy, Pinkie, Tabbers, as well as those who i forgot at this exact moment in time cos it's after 10pm and i'm banjaxed, and those who are less frequent visitors to the barracks and those who just perch on the barracks wall and peer in - we all can give. A body of shared expertise. We are all experts at something.

I also wonder if there is something about closeness - the closer we get to peeps, sometimes we get scared and hedge the closeness thing... scared that we are being too open...worried that we are open books exposing ourselves ready for exploitation. Cheapening ourselves for being open. It's bullshit of course. Codswallop the lot of it. But it was just a thought. (maybe sometimes i do that )

ANYWAY... just thought i'd reply to that cos it got me thinking there.

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

x-post YO! Inchers :waving: and Brig :bow: :H:H

[InChains]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

heya arsey, long time no see

n hi molly, thanks

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

Good evening folks :hallo:

Just done a quickie squizz back. Just wanna give big hugs to all going through the rough atm Zenny, Molls, Inchy:l Sorry nae words of advice but know I care xx

D'Arsey - you ok? Very wise words for our Zenny there actually hit home a lot to me too re 'shuuting-off' and isolating self. Ta for frisbeeing me a pancake this morn xx
Satz- glad ye n workmate got sorted x
Foxy- sounds like ye had a lovely day
Reccie- hope ye got the eyes sorted?

Jacks- we had thunder n heavy rain overnight too and couldn't sleep due to humidity and heat. How are you doing?

Hiya Pinky and MrT and anyone I missed :hiya:

Not long back after a very long night then a long day of travel- shattered and ready for me own leaba but just wanted to nip in and say hallo to ye all xx

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

THE PANTS IS BACK! :yay:

[InChains]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

thanks sweetpea, hope your well

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

RunningCourage;1535771 wrote: THE PANTS IS BACK! :yay:

:H Yeah the big Bridget Jones pants are back! tis all that fit me now after the weekend Back to slimming world for this girl methinks!

How are ya Mr D'Arsey? What ya mulling over? Tell me to p off if being too nosey xx

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

mollyka;1535778 wrote: Lots of thoughts in there Arsey - and very pertinent to myself at the moment. I don't necessarily agree (for me) that the more I look AT myself or INTO myself that I cut off from others --- but I can understand how that could happen. However ----- and this is where I'm finding relevance to this tonight --- as an alkie I need to 'watch' my head a lot --- and most of the time I'm happy enough with what I see. However at the moment I'm not, I'm troubled on a few counts --- just outside issues, things I can't do anything about, but the bit I can do stuff about is my head ---- and it's truly all over the place at the moment --- in other words I'm not at peace with myself ----- could that be what you mean?

Yup - very much so - well with me at least. Peace with yerself - that's something i am trying to work on but fuck me it's not easy:H

Re. the phoning people etc. that you speak of ---- well in my case it's a personality flaw --- I'm by nature reclusive ---- and I have to fight with myself to reach out ---- ever ---- so if it's not natural for you to be like that...... I s'pose you DO need to examine why?
Finally, the bit I highlighted there ----- when I arrived at mwo, I knew no one, I cared for no one on the site --- hence I didn't care what anyone thought of me..... now I do know people, and I do care what people think of me ..... and yes, there are times when my darkest deepest mebbe even nastiest thoughts are just that -- not nice, and I CAN want to portray myself in a better light to people here...... I try not to...... but I have to be careful of that........
Is that all bollix and utterly irrelevant to what you were saying?

Not bollix at all... It's not easy, it's all quite complex - we need to be aware of how we interact with, or importantly what we choose to divulge about out lives, others - even on an anonymous forum... and many of us know to do this naturally. But sometimes (and this is something different perhaps?) some of us might not want to just go bleh, cos we're having a shite day for whatever reason because we don't feel it's worth mentioning, we don't want to sound moany, we don't to burden peeps with our own negativity or downness/pissed off ness etc etc. .. so we just keep it bottled up. But even these little things, the more they are bottled, the more they could potentially become volatile. If the lava is left to build inside a volcano, cooking away... it's gonna have to blow, have a meltdown of some description... or it could eat away at itself from the inside...

as for phoning... och... i just got out of the habit with it... and prolly something i'm making a mountain out of. It aint even a mole hill prolly!

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Tuesday 23rd July

InChains;1535775 wrote: thanks sweetpea, hope your well
Im grand Inchy xx Glad to hear your safe and living with the wife's family- hopefully a less drama-filled environment will help you focus on yourself and YOUR needs xx

mollyka;1535778 wrote: Lots of thoughts in there Arsey - and very pertinent to myself at the moment. I don't necessarily agree (for me) that the more I look AT myself or INTO myself that I cut off from others --- but I can understand how that could happen. However ----- and this is where I'm finding relevance to this tonight --- as an alkie I need to 'watch' my head a lot --- and most of the time I'm happy enough with what I see. However at the moment I'm not, I'm troubled on a few counts --- just outside issues, things I can't do anything about, but the bit I can do stuff about is my head ---- and it's truly all over the place at the moment --- in other words I'm not at peace with myself ----- could that be what you mean?

Re. the phoning people etc. that you speak of ---- well in my case it's a personality flaw --- I'm by nature reclusive ---- and I have to fight with myself to reach out ---- ever ---- so if it's not natural for you to be like that...... I s'pose you DO need to examine why?
Finally, the bit I highlighted there ----- when I arrived at mwo, I knew no one, I cared for no one on the site --- hence I didn't care what anyone thought of me..... now I do know people, and I do care what people think of me ..... and yes, there are times when my darkest deepest mebbe even nastiest thoughts are just that -- not nice, and I CAN want to portray myself in a better light to people here...... I try not to...... but I have to be careful of that........
Is that all bollix and utterly irrelevant to what you were saying?

Again, Molls sorry yer going through a tough time at present:l Suppose at least ye are aware of not feeling at ease or 'peace' and willing to get up and do summat about it like going to AA or aftercare? Hope ye get some peace soon tho xx