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Army Thread Thursday 25th July

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    #31
    Army Thread Thursday 25th July

    Having just said that...:H ... Went and did the first of two workshops this morning for the performances at the SURGE festival this weekend. There was 4 of us to start with but after the very nice Spanish director gave a brief of what the project was, one guy (coincidently the very same guy who has written poems for the workshops/rehearsals i am doing on Sunday) just said sorry this isn;t what i thought it was, stood up and walked out :egad:

    You ever meet someone and think/feel.. "hmmm.... why is it i'm not clicking with you?" Well i have it with this guy. But this is just between you and me ok?

    So this morning we walked around Glasgow and found places to write stream-of-consciousness writing - so, 3 mins non-stop writing, under a table, in a train station, sitting in front of a busker, walking up and down the stairs in Superdry, sitting at a bus stop etc etc..., then we went back and for each of these places wrote the emotion down behind each stream-of-consiocusness writing. Then we chose the 3 most emotive emotions and wrote a sentence summing up what we had written about at those 3 places... then we had to write a story using those 3 sentences as the basis of it.

    It was good. :k

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      #32
      Army Thread Thursday 25th July

      RunningCourage;1536520 wrote:
      I've said this all before, but it came to me again today so just posting it. I am still stewing at times of whether i do drink again... just saying... being very honest and stuff... but I know it wont be for a while. Well i say i know, but you know what i mean - i have no plans to.

      Still learning...
      As my brain is slowing down for the night and Sir Pee needs to be fed, it was this in particular that jumped out at me.

      Of course whether you drink or not drink again is absolutely your choice, but I can't in a squillion years see you doing the moderating thing.
      Yep the first few times when a couple of drinks get a slight buzz is rather nice but believe me it takes all of mebbees 2 weeks before it just doesn't cut it.

      Ask yourself deep down, do you actually want the rest of your days on this planet to revolve around a shall, I shan't I scenerio.

      Just put your thoughts on my desk, I'll get it later when I come back with your tea and toast.

      Must go and feed.
      It could be worse, I could be filing.
      AF since 7/7/2009

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        #33
        Army Thread Thursday 25th July

        mollyka;1536525 wrote: :H:HNEVER as long as mine!!
        Funny - Jacks mentioned boring Sundays, and you mentioned lunchtime drinks --- I was only thinking this morning driving to work, about how we used always go for a couple of pints on a Sunday before 'dinner' (dinner on Sundays in those days used to be bout 2pm) - and how I really didn't like them cos they used to knock me sideways for the whole day..... not relevant to anything --- but I'd forgotten... and that's not THAT long ago --- mind you, it never or rarely stopped me going....
        Just had a REALLY interesting 'incident' this evening. When Joey had his 'overrnighter' last Friday night I poured out loads of half drinks and put a couple of half bottles of vodka into the cupboard. This evening I told Joey they were there and take them with him - he was going out with his mates --- the bottles were gone --- IMMEDIATELY I went into 'oh my god, Joe feels he has to hide them from me, he doesn't trust me' and on and on...... mentioned it to him tonight when he came in...... he knew nothing about them (obviously the lads found them last Sat morn. after I went to work and skulled them) --- that cudda grown into a huge thing in my head.... just so glad I asked him!!!
        Ooohh... that's interesting. Do you think that's like a guilt thing... and is that an alkie thing... feeling guilty for having a drink, or for thinking someone else might think you're having a drink?

        When at the table at work, the Artistic director walked by, gave a wee wave to us all... and immediately i felt guilty - he's working this evening on the show he's directing. i mean, I was still working FFS!!! There was no reason for me to feel guilty, but i used to feel guilty when i was drinking - even though i had done a full days work

        Dunno if that's quite the same with what you were describing with being worried that Joe may have hidden your bottles - but it does sound like a guilt complex thingy?!?

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          #34
          Army Thread Thursday 25th July

          JackieClaire;1536529 wrote: As my brain is slowing down for the night and Sir Pee needs to be fed, it was this in particular that jumped out at me.

          Of course whether you drink or not drink again is absolutely your choice, but I can't in a squillion years see you doing the moderating thing.
          Yep the first few times when a couple of drinks get a slight buzz is rather nice but believe me it takes all of mebbees 2 weeks before it just doesn't cut it.

          Ask yourself deep down, do you actually want the rest of your days on this planet to revolve around a shall, I shan't I scenerio.

          Just put your thoughts on my desk, I'll get it later when I come back with your tea and toast.

          Must go and feed.
          I have two heads of thought here:

          1) I have been, what, near 8 months :egad: sober now. I run a lot and I couldn't keep up the running if I were drinking the way I was drinking before - or, i couldn't keep up at the level i am at. (Which is fine for me, it's not quite good enough for Rio 2016 tho :no. I also need to remember that I am slowly becoming more confident and seeing more lucidly than i was before. That even though i may not directly be dealing with stuff, I am no longer pretending issues are not there - or just forgetting about them. Between me then and me now - and perhaps even better, me in the future, there is little argument: one is clearly better than the other. I am actually making moves re work and being able to see things in the long term and how that works with me in the present. I can't say that changes are BECAUSE of being AF, but these changes are happening - slowly, but i can see them.

          2) BUT... there is a part of me - and yes we hear it here ALL THE TIME - that does ask could i balance living with AL and drink moderately - or abstain for periods because i want to be on form for running... and enjoy the moments with friends/colleagues i do, if i am being honest, miss.

          Of course, it may simply be that I cannot. But it niggles me this thought, this "what if". But i made a commitment to myself that there were things in my life i wanted to change, reform, and the last thing i want to do is give up on this because i can't be arsed right now and head back to the booze only to find that i end up where i was. So that's why i continue to be AF... and have no plans to drink in the near future at all. And right now I like the fact - a lot - that it's a positive habit that i do not drink.

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            #35
            Army Thread Thursday 25th July

            Nighters Molls!

            I agree with yer comment about the mind changing it's mind. I believe it does, it can... and it may well do.

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