ONE WEEK-SAD AND GLAD

[Struggles 106]

One week ago today I fell from grace, went up the street for a burger and had that burger....and beer. And tequila. So incredibly sad. But I am glad that the madness only lasted one day. But really two days if you count the next day in a comatose state trying to recover. Just stupid.

I've been a bit lazy the last few days with the moving preparation so today I have to get some things done. It seems so overwhelming, and I wish I had some help. But I have done things alone and I know I have the strength to do it. Acceptance is the name of the game I suppose. So I'll get it done and not whine about it.

I do after all have a lot of time to get ready to go. The movers are not coming until 9/28 so it's not like it's a big rush. I am saddened to see the unnecessary stuff I have accumulated and vow to not repeat this wasteful pattern.

I worry that I won't be happy in the new place. HAHAHA-as IF the place is to be the source of the happiness! Though I do want to create a simple peaceful place where I can BE this winter and work on things in a productive way. I do miss the bf but that's just the way it goes.

I have enough antabuse to last for a while and I know where to get more so that is a good thing. I cannot berate myself for taking it to help me stay sane. You just do what you have to do.

Thank you all for always being here. I SO regret last Sunday. But on I go, and I'll be as strong as I can be.

BTW the song I am working on is an Adele song "Hiding my Heart Away". Some may be able to relate to it like I do.

Peace and love my friends

[paulywogg]

ONE WEEK-SAD AND GLAD

hi ann,dont be sad youve got a week in,build on it,hey i was reading this and i was wondering if digging through your stuff getting ready to move was somehow a trigger?i was cleaning my closet weeks ago and i found a tank top that said"its always happy hour somewhere"i had gone through hell in that tanktop,but looking at it kinda put a seed in my head,i threw that thing away,you take care ann

[Byrdlady]

ONE WEEK-SAD AND GLAD

Hey Ann!
I was looking thru an old box of pictures yesterday...from high school and college. I handed a couple of the pictures over to my hubs, and said, I sure wish I could go back and undo THAT fiasco! Guys I dated, clothes I wore!!! (it was the 70's after all) the direction of study I took. Unfortunately, the gift of hindsight (if it's a gift at all) is powerful in the respect that we know NOT to do these things again. All of these experiences make up the tapestry that is us.... good, bad or ugly, they are there. ALL of us have plenty of regrets, but as I stood in my kitchen this morning thinking that I've lived more life than I have left, I vowed to make the very most of every moment I have. That's all we can do....move forward with more information than we had yesterday.
I'm so glad you are back on track. One day at a time is a great saying for a reason....it's all we can do! Good luck with all your packing and organizing! One box at a time! Hugs dear lady! Byrdie

[NoSugar]

ONE WEEK-SAD AND GLAD

Hi, Ann,

You sound lonely. I hope you know that although we are virtual friends, our love for and interest in you are real :l.

1 day of drinking does not undo all that you have accomplished. That cannot ever be taken away from you.

I believe in using the day-counting, AF streak tools get this beast off our backs. I also don't believe that there are 'slips' - there are choices. But remember - You made a couple hundred good choices and one bad one in the last several months. I hate overused phrases but here is one that applies: don't let the perfect be the enemy of the really, really good.

It sounds like you are recommitting yourself to consistently making the right decision but I think you are most likely to succeed if you recognize that last Sunday you succumbed to a human weakness --- and forgive yourself :l. It shows so much about your strength and determination that one mistake did not lead to multiple days of drinking. What you did seems much harder to me than not drinking at all.

Good luck preparing for your move!
Getting rid of stuff is the best feeling but I hope you keep all of you beading supplies !

:h NS

[Sunbeam]

ONE WEEK-SAD AND GLAD

Ann, it seems common that once people "start drinking again" it is even more difficult to quit. I'm glad that wasn't true for you. Stay strong, you deserve it. Forgiving yourself IS important. I think that could be why people keep drinking once they start again.

[columbia]

ONE WEEK-SAD AND GLAD

Hi ann

You are one strong, determined, intelligent gal! I am glad you have chosen to move forward and upwards. You are in my heart!

[Miley]

ONE WEEK-SAD AND GLAD

Hi Ann....I just wanted to send a hug your way. Good job on getting back up and starting over again and best of luck with the move. As NS said, we are here for you!

[free at last]

ONE WEEK-SAD AND GLAD

Hi Ann,
I also read your post and can certainly relate. This life of ours is a work in progress and I echo what others have said. A lot of good choices made over many months is what you have been doing.

I have gone through 15 moves in my adult life -- it's never easy, but each time I have had to pack up a box, it's been an occasion to contemplate what is important to me, what is worth carting to a new place, and what someone else might need more than I do. I have found it to be quite freeing. Thinking of you and wishing you strength.

[Byrdlady]

ONE WEEK-SAD AND GLAD

Free...I've moved 4 times since I was 25.
A couple years ago, I was making some obscure recipe that called for a can of cream of celery soup. I KNEW I had one....I always keep one on hand (I don't know why). When I reached into the pantry to get it, I looked at the date. It had expired in 1987!!! That means that I moved that dam can of soup 4 times!!! And ended up throwing it away! You are so right... you don't have it take it all with you!!
Have a happy day, everyone! Byrdie

[Struggles 106]

ONE WEEK-SAD AND GLAD

SAD GLAD AND INSANE

The sadness decreases a bit each day, the gladness increases, but the insanity if just beginning. LOL
I'm guessing the only people who don't mind moving are the wealthy who can have someone else do it all for them.

I'm in a mood to just get rid of nearly everything. Even my couch. I am trying to be sensible but it is a bit much. I did sell a guitar today that is some progress.
And I must say this working from home is great. Working=packing. LOL

Spoke to the ex-spouse today; turns out that my Hanna is STILL irresponsible with $$.
I thought she was doing better but her bank stuff goes to his house and she is apparently not. This does not bode well for her coming here next spring. We will see I suppose.......

Have a great week everyone. I"M BACK!!!

[K9Lover]

ONE WEEK-SAD AND GLAD

We are GLAD you're back Ann!

My only suggestion is to stay on the antabuse, for as long as it takes. Why even give yourself the "choice" to drink at this point? With everything I've been through the last couple of months I made sure I had plenty in stock...I simply didn't trust myself. Admitting that was hard, but it's true. Remember that antabuse is not a crutch, it's a tool that some of us choose to use in our journey.

I wish I was closer, I would gladly help you move. I'm weird in that I LIKE packing and moving

Stick close to us!

Love,
K9

[free at last]

ONE WEEK-SAD AND GLAD

Hi Ann,
Glad to see you posting and hoping each day brings you renewed strength and commitment.

Brydie, I did the count -- actually, it was 14.5 moves (one move was only half into an apartment before I found a better option) in a period of 29 years. I think it was when the box of "important papers" had made it, unopened, through ten moves that I said "no more.' Ten years ago, we emptyied 17 dumpsters full of papers and made 10 trips to Goodwill, including giving away my piano from childhood. Now, everything has to fit inside the one bedroom apartment. Of course, the fact that I am on the road 2-3 weeks per month helps as I don't take up so much "space."

Ann, back to you -- we are rooting for you in this journey.

[YouKayBee]

ONE WEEK-SAD AND GLAD

Ann Carolina;1542401 wrote: One week ago today I fell from grace, went up the street for a burger and had that burger....and beer. And tequila. So incredibly sad. But I am glad that the madness only lasted one day. But really two days if you count the next day in a comatose state trying to recover. Just stupid.

I've been a bit lazy the last few days with the moving preparation so today I have to get some things done. It seems so overwhelming, and I wish I had some help. But I have done things alone and I know I have the strength to do it. Acceptance is the name of the game I suppose. So I'll get it done and not whine about it.

I do after all have a lot of time to get ready to go. The movers are not coming until 9/28 so it's not like it's a big rush. I am saddened to see the unnecessary stuff I have accumulated and vow to not repeat this wasteful pattern.

I worry that I won't be happy in the new place. HAHAHA-as IF the place is to be the source of the happiness! Though I do want to create a simple peaceful place where I can BE this winter and work on things in a productive way. I do miss the bf but that's just the way it goes.

I have enough antabuse to last for a while and I know where to get more so that is a good thing. I cannot berate myself for taking it to help me stay sane. You just do what you have to do.

Thank you all for always being here. I SO regret last Sunday. But on I go, and I'll be as strong as I can be.

BTW the song I am working on is an Adele song "Hiding my Heart Away". Some may be able to relate to it like I do.

Peace and love my friends

Some places are better for you than others however it's you that makes it, geographicals as they call them in AA(which by the way can be jobs, courses, relationships too) don't get to the root of the problem. Like Free at Last I've moved at least 14 times as an adult and 6 times as a child. My own parents once sought an answer by moving house and that was a massive mistake.

I find moving in itself very exciting but I also find it stressful too. It's also a great time for clearing out.

[Unwasted]

ONE WEEK-SAD AND GLAD

Hi Ann,

Just wanted to jump in to lend support. Wishing you the best........I know you're going to be successful at remaining AF. But, like K9 said, maybe you should stay on the AB longer? Anyway, just wanted to send you a hug and tell you that I totally understand, as do we all.

I'm in the process of moving too and totally get how stressful it can be.

xx,
UN :lilheart:

[NoSugar]

ONE WEEK-SAD AND GLAD

Hey, Ann

How are you doing? Please post so we can cheer you on or offer love and support :l. Whatever you want or need is waiting here for you.

:h NS