What it feels like.

[Mackeral]

I was trying to explain to Lisa the other day why i get like i do when i am trying to stay off the drink...I get in very bad moods and Lisa says i am hard to talk to. I just want to be left alone...So what i'm getting at is can anyone put into words what it feels like when they are craving a drink?

[brightfield]

What it feels like.

macks when i crave a drink i go out and buy some.

I'm not even at the stage where i dont drink yet, but i'm working on it,

sorry not helpful i know. But at least you're ahead of me.

good luck macks

[wwbarb]

What it feels like.

I feel deprived when I am craving a drink. Even when it was my choice not to have one, I feel like I am inflicting a punnishment on myself. My husband drinks whether I do or not, so if he's having one, I feel like it is not fair - how come he gets to and I don't. If I were with someone who didn't drink, I would probably resent him because he wasn't having a tough time like I was.

While this is going on, I am having an internal dialog with myself: "what if, you can't, how come he gets to, doesn't matter". I'm already "chattering" with myself, so I don't want to talk to him. I just get tired of thinking about it all the time - either fighting the craving or feeling guilty for having the drink. Sometimes it's all I think about, and I get tired of thinking and talking about it.

[Newyear]

What it feels like.

Macks - Not sure this is most folks, but for me I feel-
Anxious and deprived.
It feels like the more anxious I become the angrier I get because the one thing I know will mellow out that feeling- is the one thing I can't have.
Then the anger gets directed outwards - as if it is someone else preventing me from
having it. Then I start to resent that others can have a drink ( with no problem ) and why can't I?!

This goes in a cycle - anxiety - then the unfairness of depriving myself...more anxiety...

Then, I get depressed that I am in such a situation and begin telling myself what a loser I am.....may as well drink. It's awful.

So, for me it starts with anxiety. Any kind of anxiety will do.
Don't know if that helps explain anything but....there you go.
Lisa


wow - Fan and Barb...just saw what you wrote - guess I'm not alone in feeling that deprived feeling

[Mackeral]

What it feels like.

It does actually Lisa, all the replies do..I feel like barb Fan and you...And i remember feeling like Brightfield...

I tend to blame Lisa when i really want a drink..And i sometimes regret telling her i had a problem..

Instead of just going out and getting a drink..I always say to Lisa.." Do you mind if i get a drink in tonight"?...Dam right she minds, and i dont blame her...Then i spend the rest of the night thinking she doesnt understand anything...If she knew what i was going through she wouldnt mind me getting a drink...Its everyone elses fault...Except mine..

[southernbelle47]

What it feels like.

Hey Macks....
I just want to say that I love you.
You are so honest.
I think it has to do with our "human" nature.
We just don't like to be told what we have to do or not do.
Maybe some may call that pride?
Or control......
There are so many things in life that we cannot control....
The one thing we can is we can choose life....Life in that "spiritual" nature.
We are not just clumps of clay. We all have a spirit. We get to choose how that "spirit" part of us lives.
Once we understand more about our "spirit" part, we can begin to understand why we do things in our "human nature" part.
Sheeees.....is that as clear as mud or what?
I DO love you! And Lisa... Want to be adopted?

:l Nancy

[Mrs Macks]

What it feels like.

Yes Nancy we love you too, you can adopt us where do we sign.....
xx

[Mackeral]

What it feels like.

Love you too Nancy...

I feel like Annie........"The sun will come out...TOMORROW":H

[southernbelle47]

What it feels like.

-------------------sign here!

[gabby]

What it feels like.

Lisa, Its worse than wanting your favorite thing to eat when you know your on a diet and CANT have it or it will ruin the outfit that you have to get into. The more you try not to think about it the more you do think about it. It becomes an obsession. And then you are so mad at yourself because you like what you cant have and its an issue in the first place. And you look at all the skinny people that can just eat what they wanna eat all the time an it doesnt matter cuz they can wear whatever anytime no matter what. So then comes in the deprivation feeling again. Why do the skinny people getta be skinny and eat what ever but you cant and you want it worse then they do and it shows as soon as you give in.
Imagine this kinda thing only worse because you physically seem to need the favorite food you are craving. You become resentful of the others that dont have to deal with this and have it easier then you.
This is just a small piece of it.

[sammys]

What it feels like.

I feel like I have no use for the rest of the world at that moment.


Sammys

[Saint Jude]

What it feels like.

When I'm craving a drink...
I feel like a caged wild animal... Lord help the person who tries to "train" me! Myself included!

It's definately a mind set. If I'm not thinking about it or not planning on a drink,... keeping myself busy doing other things, I'm fine.
But if I've got it in mind... I'm very determined. Look out, I might bite.

[happycamper68]

What it feels like.

I'm on only day 3, but I can compare it to quitting smoking, it's like losing your best friend.
I used to plan my entire day around smoking, always made sure I had enough cigarettes to get me through the evenings, always looked forward to smoking while at the same time hating myself for doing it and for doing something that mad me feel so ill.

Alcohol is different in that you'll never disgust anyone in public by doing it (unless of course you are pregnant and NOT living in Europe lol or the old guy in the corner bar every day at 11am). It's Ok to drink to let loose after a long week's work in our society.

I, like the others feel deprived, and extremely anxious. I have an anxious personality. I also get addicted to everything and anything that will make me feel less anxious. I am anxious at the prospect of never being able to drink again. I love wine, love the taste of it, loved the ritual of it, but I must say goodbye to it. Does not seem fair that some have this monkey on their back and some don't. That some can a cigarette in a bar and call it a day, or have two glasses of wine in a bar and call it a day, and don't go home after that and hide and drink another bottle or two so their friends don't see.

Macks, your wife is stronger than my hubby, or my hubby really doesn't want this to be happening. He has said he'll never bring booze into the house again but he's in the wine business. I know he wants a life where we can drink together. We do it very well. But he can stop when he feels like it and I cannot. If I begged him to bring home something I think he might, especially if I cried!

The upside to this is that there is nothing to hide anymore. I don't have to pretend I'm not feeling well when I have a hangovers, I don't have to figure out where to put the wine bottles so the landlords don't see them. I'll save a sick amount of money. I can take even better care of my child.

I guess the real hope in all this that we aren't as miserable not drinking as we were when we were!!!(For us hopeful abbsters) :h

[Guest]

What it feels like.

I feel like it's the only thing that is going to make everything else alright. It won't judge me, it beckons me 'come on your safe with me. It's a friend. It is a friend I have to keep at arm's length.
Mary

[DidItForMe]

What it feels like.

Macks and Lisa:

It's hard to describe that feeling and others before me have said plenty already. For me it is also the anxiety and it gets so bad that I get angry. I get angry mostly at my husband who does not drink, but who offers to go tt the liquor store when he sees that I am anxious. I usually give in and then I am mad at myself for drinking and mad at him for bring alcohol into the house. I can't blame him though, I don't like to be around me when I'm like that either. I know he doesn't get it, and I know it is partly my fault cause I don't talk about it much.