Hi everyone,
I've been off line whilst in the bush for Easter. Being in the bush taking photographs settled my mind a lot and did me good. Having arrived at the safari camp we were staying at 2 close friends arrived to celebrate their 1st wedding anniversary. The whole thing was a surprise (had no idea they had booked to stay at the same place) and we spent one day fooling around in the pool ending the day with sun-downers on Sunset hill, well into the dark.
I had decided a while back that I would try moderation drinking during this trip but the real test came having close friends who drank a lot and the fact that we were celebrating my friend's 1st anniversary obviously was a temptation to go over board! WELL I DIDN'T. I paced myself and drank lots of water and for the first time was very concious that I couldn't let myself down and all my efforts during abstantence. In a way I was quite scared about trusting myself and making a fool of myself and I think this played a big role in keeping me within limits! I felt myself questioning my motives and whether I had infact let myself down drinking at all but because I stayed in control I felt relatively secure though inwardly scared. I don't trust myself yet.... and won't for a long time, if ever. I did go to bed leaving a drink unfinished and I smiled inwardly about that. A FIRST FOR ME IN YEARS!
Anyways now back to work I will revert back to not drinking and keep alcohol at bay except for special occassions. I don't think I'm tricking myself back into boozing though I'm well aware how conniving alcohol has been in my life and knowing how much better everything has been since starting MWO I've got to stay focussed and with this program. I missed this site and all of you that I have got to know here whilst away. All of you are my crutch and the suport I need. New week, new beginnings and I pray I can keep this additude to booze up.
I've been off line whilst in the bush for Easter. Being in the bush taking photographs settled my mind a lot and did me good. Having arrived at the safari camp we were staying at 2 close friends arrived to celebrate their 1st wedding anniversary. The whole thing was a surprise (had no idea they had booked to stay at the same place) and we spent one day fooling around in the pool ending the day with sun-downers on Sunset hill, well into the dark.
I had decided a while back that I would try moderation drinking during this trip but the real test came having close friends who drank a lot and the fact that we were celebrating my friend's 1st anniversary obviously was a temptation to go over board! WELL I DIDN'T. I paced myself and drank lots of water and for the first time was very concious that I couldn't let myself down and all my efforts during abstantence. In a way I was quite scared about trusting myself and making a fool of myself and I think this played a big role in keeping me within limits! I felt myself questioning my motives and whether I had infact let myself down drinking at all but because I stayed in control I felt relatively secure though inwardly scared. I don't trust myself yet.... and won't for a long time, if ever. I did go to bed leaving a drink unfinished and I smiled inwardly about that. A FIRST FOR ME IN YEARS!
Anyways now back to work I will revert back to not drinking and keep alcohol at bay except for special occassions. I don't think I'm tricking myself back into boozing though I'm well aware how conniving alcohol has been in my life and knowing how much better everything has been since starting MWO I've got to stay focussed and with this program. I missed this site and all of you that I have got to know here whilst away. All of you are my crutch and the suport I need. New week, new beginnings and I pray I can keep this additude to booze up.
eace:
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