Not doing so good anymore!

[Determinator]

Not doing so good anymore!

all those wonderful post...Tired you sure are loved around here!
I felt the same way just over a month ago now, but just toughed it out at home in my own self-imposed exile while letting myself slip on the supp's etc etc. as I got deeper into my funk to the point I couldn't detox safely at home. That was the jolt I needed at the time I guess...you don't have to go there though. you can say "I'm at the bottom of this elevator" at any time that you are fully and completely ready. I'm certainly not going to say it's easy. For me to be "ready" was the most difficult mind-bending time in my life on March 6th. on a brigher note it's the epiphany we must reach...and you will. thinking of you.

[gabby]

Not doing so good anymore!

D,
You sound so much stronger. Take a look at yourself and be proud!

I know Mrs D has gotta be and so are all of us.
I am so happy for you. :goodjob:


TOC......you can to it too!

[Hairnet]

Not doing so good anymore!

Please keep us posted as we have all been there...I too feel like I'm at the end of my rope. Finally admitted to a member of my church that I was an alcoholic and struggling and they were shocked because I put up such a good "front".....not sure if I should be proud or ashamed of doing that. BUT, the minute the truth was out, what used to be an easy going conversation became very difficult...they didn't know what to say anymore. I think there is such a HUGE stigma about being a problem drinker...not like having cancer, alzheimers, etc. I, too, am afraid to go to my doctor, because I feel like how can I ask them to help when I keep doing the very thing that is making me sick.

Know how much I care and keep us posted!!

[chrysa]

Not doing so good anymore!

AW TOC...,
I have been reading your posts. It is understandable that you slipped at such a tough, tough time in your life. When you said "I don't know if I can beat this", I thought,,,well you know.."you" "just you alone" can't beat it. Sometimes we need to get more help. Sounds like you are going to do that. MWO is always here for you, but I hope you get some good professional treatment as well, if you can.
Luv & Prayers to you, C

[Guest]

Not doing so good anymore!

TOC, You have had a very stressful month. Easter Holiday, your accident, old memories and the anniversary of Billy's passing. You lost more than Billy, you lost your future plans with him. This is a hard battle in any condition. But in your state of depression has to be so encompassing that it's hard to breathe. I know the depth of despair;there is help availble. MWO is great but sometimes we need more. No shame in that. it's called being human. You have given me and others trememndous support on these boards. Now let us help you. Anything you need. Just ask. See you doctor honey, tell him everything. let it all out it's OK. Cry if you need to, just do what is best for yourself.
Big Hugs
Mary

[paula]

Not doing so good anymore!

I am so sorry if my reply was insensitive,I didn't realise you had lost someone so close
when you spoke of your family I wrongly assumed partner/kids.You must be going
through hell.Please forgive me.Glad your going to see doctor,meds can be a short term
life saver.
Love xx

[Guest]

Not doing so good anymore!

No problem Paula.....

Have only tried the suppps so far. I have been scared of the Topa, but I feel I have no choice now. Not drinking today!!! Feel pretty crappy from week of drinking. I am so grateful to have you all.....your words and understanding help me tremendously.

[Pebbles]

Not doing so good anymore!

Tired, so sorry you're so down. I can only echo everyone elses posts and say keep coming here, we love you and care about you.

Also, please don't be scared of topa, it's way way better than drinking...I even like my tingly toes.

xxxx

[paula]

Not doing so good anymore!

I tried topa and kuzdo and its worked wonders for me.I was also scared of using
meds but when you think what the booze does to your body a few pills are not
going to be anything like as destructive.I have also done some research on topa
as I have a heart condition,and it's quite safe.It's also used for migraine.
Best of luck xx

[Popeye]

Not doing so good anymore!

Hello TOC,
I'm so sorry that you feel bad.
Please try again.
I keep failing too but I'm getting better by the day.
I wish you well.

[Guest]

Not doing so good anymore!

Thanks everyone...and Popeye picking myself up. I sure wish I had a less destructive habit. Been reading up on the Topa...I have TONS of hair, so I am good with that. Could lose some weight, mine as well have tingling toes...at least I will know I am alive. Mom is making dinner....yummy stuff. Starting to feel human again....there is a light!

[Bella]

Not doing so good anymore!

Hi TOC, I'm sorry you are feeling bad. You mentioned anti-Ds? I take CITALOPRAM for depression, it is a new ish drug. Really works. Maybe you could mention that name to your Doctor? Anyway, keep pulling on your strengths and you will feel better. Love, Bella xx

[Guest]

Not doing so good anymore!

HI TOC, I just got back on line again...I hope you are feeling better today. Sometimes it just seems so hard, and what's the point of it all..doesn't it? But there is a point; you. You deserve to be happy and to love yourself. I look for something everyday to make me happy..which is easy really as I have a baby girl. But I look for other things as well to make me smile, buying a new plant, feeling the sun on my face, a new face cream, petting my dogs and playing with them, going for a bike ride... all these things I have been learning to really enjoy them for what they are..life. I'm so sorry you lost someone close to you. No one can ever replace them. I lost my Nana a few years ago and I still can't talk about her without crying because I miss her so much. She was my best friend and another mother to me... it's so hard sometimes.

We love you and we are all here for you. ((BIG HUG))

[ScoobyDoo]

Not doing so good anymore!

TOC, I think that when you've had a period od abs, and then you go through a week of drinking again, it could be something that sends you into a spiral into depression. The same thing happened to me 4 or 5 days ago (thank god it was only a 24 hour period!). I can see what has triggered you onto this downward spiral, but you know you can do it. You've done it before - you can do it again. That goes for me too

We all know alcohol is a depressant and you don't deserve to feel any more pain than what you already have been through. You'll be able to cope with the loss a lot better without the booze. Kick it, and I do agree with the others here... at least talk to your doctor about some anti-depressants to get you through this time. I had a full 12 months on Lexapro which was brilliant and with no side effects (I am very sensitive to all drugs) apart from zero sex drive.

Get yourself better TOC... your man would have wanted you to be happy. And do it for yourself too.

Doo