30 days???

[morrison]

30 days???

You have all been very nice. I'm gone for good now. Back to my ways. Back to my ways. I have evil and killing in my heart. You don't need any part of that. I am set back into my ways of killing and destroying anything in my path. I have no belief in a higher power. None at all. Anything that comes in front of me in any way is an adversary to me, and I will kill it. That is how it is. I hope all of you well. Pray to God the people that hurt me and my family have more sympathy than I will have.

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

wow, are you still buzzed mccheese? you know it's always your choice to go backwards. you don't have to do that. so, last nite i was reading this book my friend gave me called excuse me, your life is waiting. well she gave it to me 2 years ago. anyway, it was really very good and i thought of you the whole time i read it. i didn't read it before cuz i thought hey i teach this but wow i really enjoyed it. and it brings it home again that whatever you are focused on is what you will manifest more of. tis your choice and you can change your choices anytime you wish. so you know what i love you no matter what you do no matter what. and your heart isn't any different then anyone elses. nothing special about that dark side darling. you just have to choose not to go down that path. love you barbie

[jessie]

30 days???

I got to day 5 and then fell flat again. So this is day 1 over.
The remorse, the remorse!

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

ah jesse are you reading the book, doing the program? l glut the kudzo? we are always here to support. no shame in falling off and getting back on that horse.

[Cinders]

30 days???

Jesse,

Yes, have remorse so you continue to try, but also be proud of the 5 days you did achieve.

Cindi

[Guest]

30 days???

Welcome Jesse....dust off and start over. We have all slipped along the path. BUT, you can do this. Keep coming here and reading and posting...it helps.

Morrison, come back when you are ready my friend. STOP drinking for today, get some rest, some food, and come back!!!!

[bird]

30 days???

Hi all,
Got it in my head today to buy beer and wanted to post before I got in a mess. I couldnt stop thinking about it and know I'll probably be feeling bad later but just ....gawd why does it have to be like this? I'll blame it on the almost full moon. Cant get past that 2 week mark. Sometimes I really wonder if I'll ever be able to get more than that..Hey I'm scared to go to chat cuz I type too slow. I tried it on women for sobriety site before but it was way to fast for me. Gotta go. love bird

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

hey there bird. just getting myself out the door. i know you can do today without the beer. i was thinking about drinking today but was remembering how good it feels not to and then watching some folks just go down the drain this week made me think even more so why today is a good day to be sober and tomorrow i'll wake up hang over free. so i'm wishing you lots of love and healing. i know you can do this. stay strong. i did go to chat and you can listen. i type awfully fast though. probably too fast. hang in there girl. i can give you my cel phone too if you want it.??????

[Guest]

30 days???

Bird,
Sorry today is rough. Weekends are always harder because of to much free time. Not obligated to be at work or take the kids any place perhaps...ya gotta find an outlet for days like today. Something you can do to make the time pass. I have been extremely stressed and had 2 slips during my 5 months AF....I know it is rough. Stress and/or boredom really trigger the desire to drink. Stay strong you can do this.

[magic]

30 days???

Hey Bird......

Ya know, it's just a thought. Let it pass, don't dwell on it. It's neither right nor wrong, blue or red, fast or slow....it's just a thought.
A beer will not make you feel better nor solve anything but that beer in your thought will.
It's just a thought. Let it pass. It's a trick, your thoughts are playing a trick on you.

m. xx

[Cinders]

30 days???

Magic,

Exactly!! I realized the other day when I was craving. Not giving in was going to do absolutely no harm to me. It was not going to hurt me to not drink, it was going to irritate me, I can live with that, but it was not going to hurt me or harm me in anyway. Just irritate me.

Shoot, I've been married 32 years!! I'm used to irritation!! :H

However, giving in would do GREAT harm to me.

Cindi

[bird]

30 days???

Yeah, it was a waste of time and money.All I did was sit around and stare and I can do that sober.After awhile I got to feeling sick and swithched to water,watched a movie with the kids,had a tremendous headache.Feeling ok this A.M. and up early. Who can sleep with a cat walking up and down you and licking your eyes? Geez. Well, I think I'll try for 15 days AF and get over that 2 week hump I'm having trouble with. Maybe if I set a goal y'know. Think I'll do a bit of reading before the kids get up.They are also early risers. Love to all..bird

[Cinders]

30 days???

Bird,

Alright!! Sounds like drinking the beer didn't give you the "pleasure" your mind expected.

I'll bet you can get over that two week hump. 15 days. Good idea. Just one day longer than the breaking point. Very smart.

Hope you have a nice day today.

We can do this, Bird. I know we can.

Cindi

[Guest]

30 days???

Bird, great idea and a realistic goal. We're here along the way.

I slept like a baby last night. 12 hours! I NEVER sleep that long. Went to bed at 8 and got up just a little before 8 this mornng. Feels good. Kids are at their Daddy's so no one bothered me in the night...kicking, squirming..Zak sleeps with me...HA HA

Nibs, how was the wedding? Can't wait to hear.

Take care all...love ya

[Niblet]

30 days???

Good Morning Everybody !!
The wedding was absolutely BEAUTIFUL !!! Marney sobbed all the way down the isle, but gathered her wits as the beautiful ceremony continued... Her Daddy passed over winter and her gramma passed 10 months ago... In ceremony it was mentioned that they were in our thoughts... Just very touching. It was windy, but no rain, thank goodness.

Bird, I love your wisdom !!! Magic and db2, you guys made some really great , GREAT points about putting cravings into perspective....

Morrison, buddy, I don't know what it is that you are going through right now, I know I can't "fix" you, but I want sooo BADLY for you to be truely "happy with yourself and with others" I mean these words... Please don't leave us here... Please reconsider, I feel you really need us ... Right now, You seem to not have a single "safe place to set down your sword, so let it be here" No violence... I've seen enough of that and since I was quite young.. Told daily that "I was dead" every single waking day.. I believed it and lived.. through horrendous abuse at the hands of my brother... My mom didn't protect me, knowing full well that "something" wasn't right... When I met my hubby at age 16, I realized that I would never have crap in my life again, and I was going to be happy... So, Morrison, I don't want to hear anymore talk from you about killing... Hear Me ?!!!!! I love you. You are worth it to us here... Stay Please.

Bootsie, I still cannot find that thread ?? Where is it or did it go? I'm so glad to hear that you were talking to Tex !!! She is such a busy lady for sure !!!

Bear, I'm guessing you are off and away to Germany !!! Gods speed there my friend... Be safe... You and Mama Bear have a wonderful time !!! Share lots of memories together !!!

Today we are gonna take a drive out to camp to visit our friends from Indiana.. They arrived at their cabin yesterday and wanted us to go for lunch at their place... They drive about 11 hours one way to come up to Canada twice a year !!! Bless their hearts.. As they are US citizens, they are not permitted a firearm, so we give them a key to our camp, hide a gun with shells so they can protect themselve if need be.. We have had an aweful lot of bears around now that the gov. has eliminated the spring bear hunt... This year there is very little berries either.. I kinda feel sorry for them... They will actually break in to find food sometimes... These Indiana folks had a bear on their front porch one day while they were out in the canoe across the lake.. There poor dog was in the cabin, terrified... All was OK because it did leave, but that is so scary !!

Well, I gonna go and find myself a cup of coffee... Beautiful sunny day here !!! Have a wonderful Sunday everybody.. Luv, I email you some pictures ... Hugs,