30 days???

[Guest]

30 days???

NIBS...COngrats my beautiful friend on 1000 posts!!!! I love you.....dearly!

[Niblet]

30 days???

Awww, Thanks alot Guys !!!
You have truely made my day
I would love to bore you with my drinking lifestyle Bootsie,,, Before I came here I drank every second day during the week pretty much (because I felt way too shitty inbetween) then for sure I was drinking Fri and Sat, more often then not "find an excuse" to have a "few" on Sunday... Terrible cycle, scarry, listless, carrying 15 lbs of extra weight around.. etc,
When I was sitting one hungover afternoon, I saw on the "Discovery Health" a show simply called" Addiction" I watched it and it did talk a bit about Kudzu... I googled and found MWO.
Knowing that this lifestyle HAD to change, I jumped right in with both feet, never looking back.... After a nice cleansing stretch of AF days 70 or so, taking Kudzu for the first few weeks... It was my saving grace for those initial cravings during the first week or so... Weekends were the toughest, but I learned to enjoy the feeling of having a clear head and simply being so proud of me... Nearing the end of those 70 days, I purchased topa, which I only took 25 mg per day..for about 3 or 4 months. Never titrating up...
I now only have "winey" Wednesday or Tuesday, Have some pop/wine spritzers (3 or 4) on Friday, Sat... never drinking on a Sunday... Like today is Thursday and the last time I had any wine atall was last Saturday... I have a totally different relationship with alcohol.. I listen to my little voice, although I have gotten myself into a bit of a pickled state (not proud of myself,,, check myself for awhile ) I just know in my heart of hearts that should I ever slip again to even near where I was before, it will be another long cleansing stint of AF days again to reset my alcohol relationship... Will never go back to that dark place I was before... Must add too that having lost all 4 grandparents 5 years ago within months of eachother sent me almost over the edge with drinking... unfortunately, my family is toxic and I'm the type of person that wears it, lives it, feels it, breaths it, sleeps with it, only to wake up to it day in and day out... All the tears and craziness would not bring back the only people that "had my back" (My gramma and grampa Smith)... My Mom too was jeolous of my closeness to them too... So I drank, and I drank alot.
I still have only my Hubby, kids, My Dad and Lyndy (xxx) and you all here which I cannot express my gratitude for... My animals are my very best friends.. They are so innocent and loving every single day in the very same way.
I do not share with people anything in my life atall because I have been so hurt by people, both emotionally and physically.. (my brother slowly almost killed me when I was 9-12) It sucked and Mom knew I was being punished, beat up and hiding in the park until late sometimes in the snow, dark with no supper praying for her to just come home from work and not go to the bar... Wait til I can wait no more, then go and face the music... The Lord will make all wrongs right... I have faith in "Him" and feel blessed to have utmost compassion for others when so many would have turned their lives the other way going through the stuff I survived with... I truely believe " What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger "...
Thank-You for asking about me, I know I'm quite private, I'm getting better with ya all though... I so do love you guys, I hope that each and everone of you know just how much you have helped me... Hugs, xxx

[morrison]

30 days???

Nibs, you really are a sweetheart, and it sucks that you've been hurt in life. It sucks, because you never know if you can trust again. I can totally relate. Fool me once, shame on you. It's sad, but my cousin and best friend Ray, just got a divorce. Things were pretty nasty. Anyway, we always talk about how we can never love again. Sadly, I truly believe this. Maybe it comes down to what boots said, and it is just stupid arrogance on my part. Maybe I won't be that way after being sober for a good long stretch. I don't know how you can enjoy a glass of wine here and there. I'm so envious. Haha. It is so great to hear these success stories. They truly never get old to me. I know we can all get there, and will get there if we just keep trying.

On a different note, sometimes I forget to pray. I was doing good while I was praying, and wouldn't you know it, I drank over the weekend, and Yep, I wasn't praying. I think I'm seeing a pattern. Does anybody else forget to pray? I know that probably sounds strange to a lot of you, but I was a pretty hardcore agnostic for a long time, so I got out of the habit.

Luv, glad to see you post. I will pray today, and I will pray for you and yours. I put a note on my refrigerator to remind me of things. Gonna write on there, "David, don't forget to pray today!" It's funny I bragged the other day about being smart, and I forget something so simple. Haha. My friends and mother always tell me, "David, for a smart guy, you do some pretty stupid ass things." I can't argue with that logic at all. Okay, off the soapbox.

Bear, I'm not worried. I have a lot of friends that are large men, and they are all gentle giants. Let's face it, when you are that big, you really don't have anything to prove, right? My one friend, who is also a biker, is 6'5", broad shoulders, and so gentle. You see this guy with all his tats get off his bike, and think, "Wow, I bet that is one bad mother f***er (I'm gonna try to quit cussing too.") But, he is one of the nicest guys you'll ever know. Bear, a few weeks back there was a huge biker fest out here. You should have come out then. I don't bike myself (well, other than peddle bike, haha,) but I saw so many amazing looking bikes, it was cool as hell.

Boots, I'm glad you rip on me. That is what friends do to each other. Oh, and where has magic been? I hope she still isn't mad at me. I have foot in mouth disease at times. I can't name how many times I upset people when I truly, truly thought I was being funny, only to look back and realize I wasn't. Wow, now I'll get off my soapbox for real. I get to typing, and I just go on and on. My mouth is that way sometimes too.

I hope everybody else is doing well too. Everybody getting excited to pig out on Thanksgiving? Girls, I know you are all working out, but let your hair down and eat and eat and eat. Thanksgiving with family. Ah, wish I was home. Oh well, I'll be there next year when I can control myself and not be an embarrassment. Damn it!! I'm really done talking now. Later.

[Niblet]

30 days???

Hey Morrison, I'm really happy to hear that you take time out of your day for prayer.. It does kinda attach the mind and soul together don't it ?
I can go ahead and speak for Magic, she sure isn't upset with you... That is one lady that has a heart the is made of space age expanding material... Is there such a thing ? Ha !! Ha !!
That's right !!! All my U.S.A. neighbours will be celebrating Thanksgiving this Sunday is it? Maybe I'll do a chicken dinner complete with some stuffing etc. just for laughs and giggles. This moring we woke up to a bright blanket of snow, making me think of Christmas shopping and decorating...
Hoping that everybody is having a GREAT Thursday !! Hugs,

[MDBiker]

30 days???

Congrats Nibs!!!! WooHoo 1000 post is a lot. Who would have thought you would have that much posting in you. lol We love youand I am really glad you are with us here.

Morrison, I have found that if I pray first thing in the morning and keep it in my heart all day, I always have a good day. If I forget my prayer and try to take control I always have a crappy day. I really do think prayer works. I heard a guy the other day say everyday when he gets up he prays "I arise to do your will God; please give me the knowledge and strength to cary that out". I think that is an awsome way to start the day.

More2, I really don't think it matters if you are on your knees, in your car, or on your head; what matters is who you are talking to. I agree with you and I think walking daily with god in mind makes me a better person in every way.

God Bless all

:huggy

bear

[Guest]

30 days???

God does not care what we look like where we are when we worship him, etc....do you yhnk thr well groomed tiddy little ol lady in mass on her knees is the nly one getting her prayers answered. What a selfish God that would be. Just pray when it strikes you! I SO SO wish you couldall come see this Chrsitmas lay put on here every year...my son even loves it....he even cried ...he was 7. I can't even explain it to you, I just wish you could come. Bear, and TIT, I know you would especially love it. It is called "This Man Called Jesus"...I think there is a website.
Sorry I haven't been posting as much....new meds have me very tired. Just gotta work through it though. I put off getting on somethig far to long....why is it we fell weak by needing an anti-depressant? Much love....Lisa

[Niblet]

30 days???

Good Morning Everybody,
Aww Luv, sweetie, you aren't weak by needing meds for depression Hon, You are truely wise to take something that helps you day in and day out... Rest up, You are so loved here and hope that we all can walk this walk hand in hand with you.
I always use the saying " I live in the Lord" which for me means that I always do something whenever I can that is "right"...
Hope that everybody is gonna have a good Friday... Hugs,
PS, More2, congratulations to you on ALL those AF days with a clear mind and such a positive attitude... Kudos !!
Talk with you all later tonight after work likely...

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

oh my gosh the movers are here????? uyeahhhhhhhhh. oh yeahhhh. wow, i'm drinking day old coffee. that is just not yummy. i think i'll post quick and make a fresh pot. it is chilly here. wow, more 2 i'm so excited. yeahhhhhhhh watch out desert here she comes. well, luv bug you know i relate to the tired. one more day i woke up at 9 a.m. which is like 2 to 3 hours later than i used to wake up. and i feel so fricking guilty. i'm like okay next week you can start geting up at 8 a.m. feel like i'm missing so much. ah the doggies have enjoyed though mama has enough energy to hike them a bit. this week i'm going to get in 3 to 4 hikes. that is a miracle. that hasn't happened in 4 months. phewwwwwwwwwww so rest up girlie. rest up. i might even try for the gym today. just something light like weights. like my fat ass........ okay, morrison, hope you are doing well. supplement yourself cuz here comes the weekend. and well, 12 many you as well. spa nite for me so i have no worries of the booze time. i'm afing all weekend.
bear have a fun time in sin valley vegas. nibs again love you so much. and i posted about dreamboards in general discussion so go get those materials and have yourself some fun. it is a good time. i was dreaming about my new board last nite again. was helping my bookkeeper too last week. all of her materials are here so she is starting on hers. fun to see how other people do theirs.
dream boards here we come. tis the new year afterall. i was thinking too time to put real estate sold up on my current board. hahahahahahahaha. didn't think of that. and i think i want a career. hummmmmmmm. we shall see. okay, i think skip tea i want coffee.

[bird]

30 days???

Hi all,
Nibs, congratulations in 1000! And you and bootsies posts have me all choked up. It is nice to be able to come here and share things I cant with others and know you know what I mean. I think about all of you everyday and wonder how you are when you dont post for awhile. Maybe one of these days we can all get together. Me and luv have been talking about it since we are not that far apart...Been having hot flashes all week and kinda tired. I am about that age. Have 5 days off at thanksgiving and are layed off for Xmas week they told us today its so slow at work. I really need the break. I'm ready to do some cooking and camping and just hanging out,hopefully sober. Been taking the kudzu pills and making kudzu tea out of the tough leaves that are left. A fox killed one of my white roosters last night. Feathers all over. Later on. love to all...bird

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

hey birdie how's that kudzo working for you? bout that time of day for me to take the kudzo and lglut and the topa dopa max. phewwwww. so yeah tis nice to know that you all know me better than anyone well except for the doggies. hahahahahahahaha god it is chilly in this house. this might give me a cold again if i don't watch it. shoot already noon. where does this day go to.. well, that's what i get for getting up at 9 a.m. time to shake it and get moving. have a great day you all.

[MDBiker]

30 days???

Beautiful day here today. I'm good but busy. I'll check in later

bear

[morrison]

30 days???

Luv, do you mean you feel physically weak as a side effect? Or you feel mentally weak relying on meds? If you feel like you're a weak person, stop that thought right now. You've been through so much, we know you're not weak. I'm sure you may have heard this before, but they liken depression to diabetes. Are diabetics week people because they need to take insulin? I'm not a neurologist, but I do know we have chemicals in our brains, just as we have chemicals in our whole body. Sometimes these chemicals get a bit out of whack. A lot of my friends wouldn't buy into it. They would say it was bullshit, and just my negative thinking that effected my moods. However, when I finally got something that helped, they saw a huge difference. When they saw my being up and down again, they would ask "are you taking your meds?" The stuff can work if you get the right med(s.) Just like a diabetic, we who suffer from depression or other mental disorders just have a chemical imbalance. It's sad that society, in 2007, still doesn't want to accept this way of thinking. Again, if people didn't have chemical imbalances, none of the stuff out there would work, and personally, it probably saved my life. I don't feel weak for that. And neither should you. :h

[Niblet]

30 days???

Hello everybody !
Bird, I'm so sorry to hear about your rooster... Hoping at the same time that it isn't the pet rooster that you have always had...
We are going out to camp to drain the water down for winter... It's a beautiful day here
Enjoy your Saturday everybody !!! I'll be back home tomorrow, Hugs, gotta go !! The dogs are in the backseat of the truck and ready for their ride .. Haa !! Haaa!! They are just like kids !!! xxx

[MDBiker]

30 days???

Hello guys. I can't seem to slow down long enough to enjoy my time. I hope everyone is having a great weekend. Once again it is beautiful here and I am at work. I will be glad to get a few days off for thanksgiving. I am getting tired of this. I talked witht the Dr. last Thurs and he says I have the knees of an 80 year old man. Yep, the bastard stole them from me when I was not looking. lol We are going to have to do something about my knees, and he wnats to do a series of injections to see if he can rebuild the cartlidge. I have about decided I don't want to go through the multiple injections which may not work just eo end up having to have replacement surgery anyway. I am voting for replacement now. I we do the replacement I will be down about 6 weeks with each one, but I should be able to climb stairs again after recovery. I am going to ask for the replacement. And I have learned here that if this Dr. only wants to experiment with the injections on me I will find another Dr. He already told me the only real fix was replacement. I don't think I want to spend thousands of dollars and the pain of the injections only to find I have to replace them in a year or two. I may not have insurance in a year or two, who knows. At any rate, I can hardly get around this morning. I hope I am doing better before I go to Vegas. he he

love you guys

:huggy

bear

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

uhoh more 2 is going to be killing someone today. lmao. okay shower time...... love you allll. this weekeend is hubby time.