30 days???

[Guest]

30 days???

OMG...OMG....BIRD, is there anything I can do for you? SHIT...I am in shock. At least the kids are OK...mine we be devastated if their Daddy were even hurt. He's great to them though. ALL I can think of to say is "holy shit". Are you ok????

I took a HUGE step today. May not be what everyone has to do to heal, but I am a VERY open person. I needed to go back and tell people that I have hurt by my drinking that I was sorry and some of them just admit I am an alcoholic. NOT one of them was surprised, they all knew....guess we don't hide it as well as we think we are. I apologized to family, told my Dad I am an alcoholic and about last year...he didn't know. I wrote the father of my kids a letter apologizing for things I had done to him...I did him really wrong. I would have 10,000.00 sitting in the bank ready for bills at any given time and just not pay them cause I was drunk or hung-over...I hurt his credit. I told people at work that covered my ass many times, which is why I still have a means to support my children and very well. Some accepted the apologies and I think the fence can be mended. One fence will never be mended and I don't want it mended, just needed to say I was sorry for my part and that was to Billy's family. They did MANY mean things after he died to me, but I did also...I apologized in a way stating I did not want to reconnect, just apologize, when I see Billy again he will be proud of my actions. In regards to his family. So, I am off to the seminar this weekend three days of intense grief therapy, I plan to come home coping better. I am VERY PROUD of myself for COMING OUT so to speak. I needed to say I was sorry for my drunken behaviors to move forward. Now I feel I can.

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

job well done my friend. well done.. i can relate to that when i was in aa. i made amends where i could, and then didn't where it would cause more harm to bring it up. along the way coming back out again drinking.. well, i believe tis my hubby that has hurt the most. so i've made amends along the way to him. he's going to lenair with me to go AF all the way as they say come january. and the rest, well, i make amends everyday which was a great thing to learn from aa. forgiveness, and amends. i know you have indeed set up your house perfectly in time for this seminar.
and birdie again, i was thinking you know when my sister's ex hub died she was able to collect i believe soc sec for her child and i believe it was his. so,,,,,,, i'm sure you can do this for your children.... so they have some monies coming in....... ... take care of you bird. let me know what else. anything. okay??? i'm sending you off a little goodie package..

[bird]

30 days???

Luv thats great. You are sounding good. Yeah I think my kids will draw social. I am gonna check it out tonite. I am ok. A bit tiered from thinking about it all day. later,bird

[Niblet]

30 days???

Aww Bird, Hon, I'm really sorry to hear of the childrens' father passing... Even though he wasn't active in their lives, there was a time when the two of you shared hopes and dreams together... take care of yourself, keep the lines open with your kids, encourage them to express themselves in any way shape or form... Your children are so blessed to have such a wonderful Mom such as yourself... Thinking of you. xxx

Luv, what you have done is so very brave.. I agree that one day Billy will express to you how proud he is of you and your progress... You sound so good and I'm truely happy about that

Bootsie, lovely heartfelt words that I enjoyed...
Take Care everybody, and no I didn't get that damn tooth pulled... It only aches once in awhile and the dentist couldn't fit me in... on the upswing, the work van now has 4 tires with treads on them... haa!! haa !! so our trip to town wasn't a waste of time...
hugs,

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

you know niblet when i was a kid and i needed to pull a tooth.. this is how we did it.. i would tie a string around said tooth and then tie string to the nob of the door. then my brother would slam door shut..

so if the dentist can't fit you in.... go get yourself some thread from the sewing kit. i'm sure we can fix that tooth of yours

[morrison]

30 days???

Holy fuck bird. I'm sorry I missed this and didn't get back to ASAP. Talk to me if you need anything. Nobody has the right to take somebody but God, and we know this. PM me anytime.

bird;234023 wrote: Hi all'
Hey my kids dad died last night. Someone stabbed him and then he had a heart attack. I was kinda upset about telling my kids but they werent as upset as me being they had only seen him twice in 10 years.geez.....bird

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

did they really have video chat?? how painful that would be. lmao...... yipes.
morrison you make an excellent point. no one but god has the right to take a life. god do you know you just wrote that??
so darling explain to me why it is okay for you to be killing yourself?????? smart ass. i mean unless you are now about to tell me you are baby jesus's father. and i'm not buying that. so maybe you can follow your own advice. i'm thinking that you probably aren't a rocket scientist so maybe the job you have isn't so big deal that you can't get a new one after rehab. put your shit in storage. call mom and dad and tell them you are getting your head out of your ass and you are going into rehab... well it is about as nice as i can be given i'm going in january
just a little sisterly love. boots...

[Guest]

30 days???

Morrison,
I have to say we have done this so many times now that you HAVE to know that rehab is your only choice. I don't give a shit if you are the president of the damn United States if you are snorting coke and driking yourself to death at least one GOOD binge a month then you need rehab and you can get a new job afterwards. BECAUSE you are ALIVE and you feel good..get 2 damn jobs afterwards. You'll feel good, and have time. I looked in to my childs eyes today and I was so regretful for the fact that she has seen me in such conditions at times that I just started to cry. NO ONE should see someone they love like that. Your parents would be devastated without you Morrison...I tell you I could NOT lose my child...do it for you, do it for your family.

[MDBiker]

30 days???

Hi guys. I feel like I am not holding up my part of this deal we all have together. I apologize to all of you for not being there when I should be. I tried to post on Monday, but my connection was screwed up. Luv, I too am sorry about your pup, you have had a long row to hoe for a time now. What I would like to say to you is; that even though your life has been filled with disappointment and sadness; you have accomplished much and you have touched many lives because of who you are. I thank God you came into my life here on these boards. If not for you and this thread, I don?t know that I would be alive today. I was living in a virtual world of shit. My home life, my job, my spirituality, my financial state, my overall being; all were shit. I hated my life. I was fearful of the future. I was regretful about my past, and I was slowly (at times quickly) killing myself with alcohol. I was clinically depressed, detoxing, and hoping I cold find a way to get out of my unbearable life when I came back to MWO and found you and this 30 day thread. Very few people I knew from the past were still here; and then I saw your 30 day thread, I only hoped I could accomplish that. What a great and wonderful experience it has been for me to be here with you and all you wonderful people on the 30 day thread. Look back at where we have come from and what we have accomplished each in our own lives. Luv, you have been through so much and you have held together. I know it is hard, and you have had many trials; but YOU ARE A WINNER. I heard a man say when he sobered up he didn?t mind living; once he learned how to live. I think that is what we are all doing; Learning how to live so we can enjoy life again and be happy. We have so much to be thankful for, and so many blessings; but I never want to forget. I know I have another drunk in me; but I am not sure I have another sober in me. For most of us it is unbelievable that we have stopped drinking when we finally stop, but in my case it is not only unbelievable it is a F***ing miracle. A miracle made possible by my friends here on the 30 day thread. I really just want to say a big THANK YOU to all of you for being a part of my life. I don?t mean to be away from the threads so much, and the knee surgery is going to slow me down some; but if any of you need me just give me a call or PM. I will be there for you.

God bless,

:huggy

bear

[Guest]

30 days???

Bear,
You know God sends you people, words, and experiences just when you need them. Just when I feel like I can not take another day, I am fearful of SOBBER world and all it entails, someone PM's me or posts on here like you have and it gives me the desire and courage to "keep on keeping on" I may not have drank for as many years as some of you, but don't be fooled, it has been just as hard for me to STOP drinking. To learn to live. To each out to those I need in my life...positive people, God loving people.
I FINALLY told my Daddy, I thought he wasn't even going to respond to my email then last night I got a HUGE/LENGHTY email. He explained to me that God hs unconditional love for us all. There is no price you he to pay to be forgiven,simply ask. A parents love is like that for their child. That NO MATTER what I ever do or have done would he ever not love me. You have NO IDEA what that email meant to my life. I have always perceived my daddy as so Godly, so pure. I made him something he wasn't , no human is!!!!! I will continue down my sobber journey. I WILL SUCCEED in beating this!!! I WILL!!! And so will each of you. Why because we have to for ourselves, for our families, for anyone that loves us. No one wants to see anyone self-destruct. We can do it!!!!
I LUVUALL from the bottom of my heart.

[Cinders]

30 days???

Bear and Luv,

I needed to see this post so much this morning.

You have no idea.

God works in every way.

Love,
Cindi

[bird]

30 days???

hi all,
I didnt sleep very good and then went to work. They all go well, you need to go up to social security so I did and she said my kids might not get anything cuz he didnt have insurance. Not sure what that means but have an appointment on the 13th about it. ...one of his older kids called me last night and said he didnt get stabbed but had fell into a glass table and it cut him up, then had a heart attack. Dont know how things can get so mixed up. I think he fell into the table on purpose. Some of you might remember a post I had awhile back where he had cut his face all up. Anyway...I didnt feel like going back to work. I'm sure things will work out, God takes care of us. I am enjoying having a little time to read through the threads. I am so glad to be part of it.later on and love to all...bird

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

bear that was a really beautiful post and i agree to what you more 2 and luv bug have said. yep the thread has definitely helped me through some mighty blue days and made laugh through some ordinary days. remember that post from tex about the boat.. funny... bird i don't know what on earth insurance what have to do with ssi... as always you can go to several different people in any place and get different answers. so just keep going til you get the answers you want.... please take care of you. and remember you can talk to any of us... we are all here.

[Guest]

30 days???

You all remember the post about the girl LITERALLY blackmailing me here at work some time back???? I said at the time I was not going to confront her and didn't. Well, honey...every dog has it's day. It is true....if you do right and try to live by God's words, you will be rewarded. I have spent the week talking with old friends and mending fences. well, this girl started her crap with me. I won't go into all the dramatic details, but in the end...I have a HAND written letter stating that she will no longer continue blackmailing for the past!!!!! I feel so good, I could cry!!!!! I stuck it out and I was rewarded. ALSO, she sent me an email this morning stating her husband had been shot Monday night and was at a local hospital. A town up the road from us. I LOOKED it up....guess why he was shot...DRUG DEAL GONE BAD!!!!!!!! Now ain't that some shit! She told me to tell everyone here at work that he had been shot, I called her back and told her I looked it up on the local news and did she really feel like I should do that since it stated specifically that it was a drug deal gone bad????? She HAD NO IDEA because they haven't charged him with anything yet. I hate to tell her...on his release orders from the hospital will be a not "CALL POLICE BEFORE DISCHARGE" I know this I see it EVERYDAY in records. So, I hate somethig truly bad had to happen to get this off me, but it is OVER!!!!! Blackmail is a class C felony....she may have been able to get me fired but not prison time!!!!!

[bird]

30 days???

That sounds good Luv. I am glAD you got to tell her. I am feeling a bit weepy over my kids dad. He was not very nice but there was a long time ago I really felt something for him. Its too bad he was so mean. I have some beer but do not want it. I'm just tired.bird