30 days???

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

ah bird, i'm so sorry to hear the news about deadbeat.. well, i know this would sound strange but i really did feel a tremendous relief when my step mother passed away. tremendous. so, i know va will have money for you. and leave the beer in the fridge darling. well, luv bug, this is the big 3 days. phew. i'm actually a bit nervous about it. lmao. and i'm not going..... you are.. but still i feel like i'm in it too every step of the way. so please please just do whatever you need to do for yourself. i'm pming you my cel phone number....
and thank you so much for adding in your 2 cents worth on the thread for me. magic was kind enough to pm me a really brilliant insight about threads. with the exception of this one and the 12 many thread where we check in daily. the rest are well it is like a coffee table where someone comes by and just adds a snipet here or there. having no clue about what is behind everything. none whatsoever. i never thought i'd be so totally made wrong for giving a shit about someone. lmao.. wooooo..... viscious these folks can be... hummmmmm. whatever. but on to you..... so, heal heal heal.. and that is what i'm doing too. heal heal heal and just being..... so, pm coming your way. honey bunny. and isn't that bear just the cutest????? gosh, want to just grab a ladder and climb up and give him a kiss and a hug... i do love that, i know i have another drunk in me but i don't know if i have another sober. so fucking profound. just love that saying. remembered that from aa. treasure that.
so, chin up bird...... i'm sending you and girlies some love today.

[bird]

30 days???

Damn I went back to the va and she said if he was drawing compensation or if his death was vet related they might get some education benefits but neither of those apply. He was seeing a va shrink and was gonna apply for disability but never made it that far. Oh well, I'm still gonna try the ss anyway the appt on thursday. Maybe get something from the years he was paying it. It doesnt matter that much anyway. I can put a few more hours in at work to make up for what he was sending..still...it would have been nice to have that security of having a regular check. Yeah bootsie I know what you mean about it being a relief and the beer is still in the closet. I wont drink it unless its cold. Luv that seminar sounds good. Tell us about it. later bird

[Guest]

30 days???

Bootsie, that is very GOOD advise magic gave. I REALLY get involved in other threads and if they start looking ugly I RUN, but I felt obligated to say something. The thread really became about you and Morrison and your issue and ALL the rest of us should have let you both have your say. Oh well, we all no better in the future. If those that commented read this thread they would KNOW how close we all are and where you were coming from. WE LOVE MORRISON, we want him healthy and happy. We always will. Enough about that!
I LOVE what Bear said too.....I got a BUNCH of drunks in me too, but honey there may not be a sobber left, the big fall I had in my 8 months, it was VERY disappointing. You all know. I cried the whole next day. So, off to healing time tomorrow!!!! I will let you all know...
Bootsie, thank-you for the PM...

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Hey wonderful awesome family! Sorry I've been AWOL, since returning from Baltimore, I had company in the house, and tons of catching up to do! I've tried 2 different days to catch up on e-mails and posts, and think I finally have it covered! More2 is the only one except company, and family, that I've talked to since my return SOBER FROM JOHNS HOPKINS, AND FLYING SOLO TO BOOT! Yeah Me...lol...when I first got on this site, that was biggie, not freaking out and letting the Big C trigger, and travel back to the hospital, put me under the Pinot Grigio spiget, and I've failed for 3.5 yrs, till this even more stressful trip, and I did it....never could've done it without all ya'lls thoughts, prayers, and support, and cell numbers if I needed them! This is truly, honestly, the best "family" ever....even tho most of us have never met in person, we probably know more about each other, than lots of those closest to us.....and meeting More2, was like meeting a half of me that was just "out there" someplace...the umbilical tugs daily from Texas to Washington or Calif., I think we were separated at birth, we may not talk daily, but daily, she, and all of you, are in my each and every waking thought and prayers, morning and night! Anyway, I got the call today, and I'm still CANCER FREE!!!! THE TESTS WERE OK!... WHEW, PHEW, OH BOY....what a Christmas present! Now, you actually could drive a nail up my ass with a sledgehammer! First time in about 6 wks! Ok, enough about me....Luv, your Dad's letter was soooo incredible, and so RIGHT ON....the Big Guy totally loves us, unconditionally, and we don't have to EARN IT, or be GOOD ENOUGH , we just have to BELIEVE, that's it....its exactly the way our kids are, they may misbehave, or keep messing up, but we love them no less...all we want is for them to be ok, and happy...ditto Him...I believe he led us all here, each of us, to help us, His flock gathering to support each other...I'm soooo blessed this season to have you all in my life! It makes the BIGGEST difference! Bear, you are such a Papa to us all, I've missed you, I know you are so busy, your post was the best tho! Nibs, you are such a calming force for me, like a great security blanket, I'd just love to come over in the mornings for coffee with you! Magic, you do have an instinct about our feelings, its just so neat! Bird, so glad you are with us, and I'm so glad you had an angel help you with your rent, and I'm soooooo very sorry about your kids Dad....I know you have conflicted feelings, at one time, he was a part of your hopes and dreams, and even tho you probably wanted to kill him yourself at times, you hate it, and have grief when someone is completely gone, we've all had that, and it sucks, no matter how you shake it...its too bad he didn't get it together enough to try to make it up to his beautiful daughters, that's such a shame and a waste, for all of you....(notice to all of us, get it together, look what could happen!).....I think its funny your girls want Nintendo...lol...my daughter always wanted Barbies and high heels and feather boas...I myself was a tomboy, swinging from trees...lol...BTW Bootsie, my daughter would just love you, we'll have to come visit, we'll all meet up at More2's place, have a girls extravaganza!!! Or heck, we could meet up in Santa Fe or something, everyone can come! Ok, now, Morrison...I got a great note from you on the 29th, I replied on the 30th, and I'm guessing, cuz I must've missed something, that you pulled a big one, and it was not a pretty picture???.... You really have to start loving yourself the way we do, and we don't even know you that well! I swear, you will do better, when you quit "punishing" yourself, and start thinking positive about yourself, and get whatever help you need, before you end up really landing in the hospital, or a cold hard slab...we need you to not "bail-out" on the family! We can only help you so much from afar! I love you each and every one, sorry to ramble, I've overwhelmed with catching up and reading!

[Guest]

30 days???

HEY TEX is home! Girl, thought you had run off. I am SO SO HAPPY to hear you are big C free. I have been thinking and praying about you. Glad you are home too safe and sound. Not sure where our Nibs has been the past couple of days, she must be busy. I would so love for us to meet up. I would fly ANYWHERE! Texas, Cali...wherever. I think it would be great. Welcome home TEX!!!!

[bird]

30 days???

That is great news Tex. I am so happy for you. What a relief. I say we all meet in Colorado one day. Maybe we could all have some sort of video conference. Can you do it with more than 2 computers???hmmm bird

[magic]

30 days???

TEX.............


YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



m. xx

[Guest]

30 days???

Yeah bird you can. Colorado would be great, it is beautiful. You and I could fly together!

[magic]

30 days???

Colorado? I'm in.

m. xx

[bird]

30 days???

yeah yeah. I have an aunt in Denver and some cousins. My parents are buried there and I have a few friends leftover from H.S. We could get some cabins somewhere. Yee haw!!!

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Thanks Luv, your prayers worked! Everyone's thoughts and prayers, found me, and gave me hercules strength! Magic, yes is right...whew....thanks for the thumbs up, you're the best! Bird, I love Denver, was there for fun about 2 mos. ago, downtown is a virtual food and music fest, and tons of fun! I'll meet any of you, anywhere, anytime! It'd be our gift to ourselves! Is Nibs missing? I read so many posts at once, that I didn't look at the dates....Ok, company is gone and I'm going to CHILL OUT, I may pass out...lol...its the calm after the stress storm that poops you out..then again, I'm so pumped up from the relief, I may be up forever! Luv, let us know how your workshop goes, sounds like you are soooo very much on the healing track, it'll be a great New Year for you, I feel it in my bones, and you certainly deserve it!

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

oh gosh more 2, one year anniversary? geez that is so little time gone by.. i'm so sorry hon.... so so sorry. you cry anyway. go to the gym and just wear sun glasses. i'm working from my comfy big bed today. i have a nice fire going, it's raining like crazy and i have my tea here. and some texas chili. yummmy.... ah don't worry about that thread. fuck em. magic set me straight in many ways. god i love that little elfette. i could squeeze her. i have decided i just don't have time for stupid people. ahahhahaahahahhahah. present company excluded of course. so, tex my girlie... i'm so happy you are cancer free......... god almighty yes yes yes........ thank you jesus. and i'm praying for our luv bug today. and birdie was thinking of you last nite..... well, i figured out what little goodie i'm sending out today. finally after racking my little brain last nite. phew..... that took some doing...
and, soon, guys 2 more weeks or so i go to lenair which is a form of rehab only its a week long.. so i know you are wishing me well. i have an appt with rhonda on january 2nd. hubby is going with me. so i know you are all wishing me well too. please god let me be in the 95% category that her work works for......... i am committed to being permanent af again.... i have new job starting in the new year. haven't had a "job" since 1992. but it is also equity in the company. so new career, new life, chance to pay off this debt i racked up whilest sick this year. and i honestly have to be AF for all the reasons we all know... and i want that last jump start...... to hold me through the rough days....
love you all. and my thought for the day: is just say NO to stupid people. aahahahahaahhaahahha

[bird]

30 days???

Sorry tou are feelig down More 2 but you are right. It will get better. I am also not feeling that great and didnt go to work. Have been cleaning up and went and did the laundry. We might go get our tree today. Maybe it will cheer me up. bird

[bird]

30 days???

Bootsie we must have been posting at the same time. You must tell us all about the lenair. It sounds great. I go to doc next week. I am gonna try to get something. bird

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Yes More2, thank you Jesus, I've been walking around thanking him outloud! lol Bootsie, you know we are pulling for you, and if it works, heck, we may all be there! I'm committed to being AF too, its sure hard, but it sure feels great when you just succeed a lil at a time huh! We'll be with you in spirit, heart and soul, count on it! More2, its funny, last night I was so wishing I could call my Dad, after Luv's letter, and just talk to him, share my joy with him, and he's been gone for 18 yrs, and I was sitting here crying...its just all worse this time of year! I think we just learn to live with it somehow, but it never goes away, or it hasn't for me anyway! Bird, get that tree, it will cheer you up! No matter how badly all our "junk" is, we all have alot to be grateful for, and to remember the Reason for the Season, helps too.....I'm taking it easy today too, its nice, I'm still in my sweats, and I'm going to get in the sauna, and if I get real motivated, I my drag my hinney to the gym, we'll see....lol....Love you all, check in later guys!