30 days???

[magic]

30 days???

More 2....Crying releases endorphins, just like exercise. Anniversaries are odd things, my Dad passed away on December 30, 1996 and I remember my mom saying that he
picked the end of the year to leave. My mom is gone too.

Keep crying, but not too long, sorrow will bring you down. Instead~ rejoice in the fact that you had a loving father whom you miss dreadfully...I like that. xx

Boots......for Heaven's sake. If you squeeze me~~~~ jam will come squirting out either end.

Just say NO!

m. xx

[magic]

30 days???

Strawberry, More 2, glad you like it!

m. xx

[bird]

30 days???

we got our tree

Here is our tree Attached files [img]/converted_files/383787=2770-attachment.jpg[/img]

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

how do you guys get pictures in your posts? i want to do that too but i haven't figured that out.... okay, movie time... bird so fricking cute........ is that magic down in the corner????

[bird]

30 days???

Bootsie,
Go to Post reply
go to manage attachments or click on the paperclip
click browse, then find the picture
double click and it will appear into your manage attachments
click on upload, then close your manage attachments window
click on the paperclip scroll down and it will be there
click on the link and it will appear in the post
it wont work with quick reply

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Aw Bird, what a pretty tree! I'm so glad you got it today! Lordy mercy tho, how did you ever figure that out about posting pictures? I'll have to print that out and try it later, I'm so computer illiterate...lol... Did your girls have the best time decorating??? Hope everyone is having a great Friday night, its movie night here too....Hey, where is Nibs???? Luv, you back from your seminar yet???

[Guest]

30 days???

Whew that was one hell of a day. First day is the hardest of the seminar, e hear each ithers stories....why we are there. So, basically we cried all day. I was exhausted by the time I got home. Tomorrow will be the beginning of the intense counseling and goes through Sunday afternoon. Some that were there this year came last year and you could tell the new ones....when we told our stories, we could barely speak, sobbing at times, they are able to tell theirs now with little tears. Gave me hope.

[bird]

30 days???

Hi all,
A good nights sleep for me. I always go to bed with the kids. They have a king size and we read and then I always fall asleep and get up later and get in my little bed. My oldest was up first this morning and came and got in bed with me. She looks alot like her dad his facial expressions and movements etc. I really see that in her today with him gone. Like hey theres that great big smile of his. All the good stuff about him. I dont have to woory about the bad stuff anymore cuz hes gone. I used to think god I hope he doesnt move up here and start coming around and screwing the kids heads up. But now I can remember the good stuff . The bad part of him was so bad I could not live with him though I tried 3 times. It was like when he was good he was very very good, but when he was bad he was horrid. I always had to remember the bad stuff when he was alive cuz I didnt want him coming around and messing up the kids but I still loved that good part. Guess I didnt know that about myself untill he died and I will never tell anyone but you. It worked out though and now I can look at that winning smile on my daughter and remember all the good times without being afraid. I can sy hey, you up there. See our kid? Its pretty bad when you have to protect your kids from their own father but I had to do it. Anyway....Tex what movie did you watch? I found out how to do the pictures on someones post. Luv the seminar sounds like a relief. I would like to cry alot and just get it all out. NIBS did you go somewhere??? bird

[Niblet]

30 days???

Ohhh My goodness, I have missed so very much in the last few days !!
I will make time to read all the posts tomorrow, but now I'm going to bundle up to go riding the snowmachine... Yes I did say "snow"....
I'll catch up to you all, Hugs, and lots of love,

[magic]

30 days???

What brave, brave women you lot are.

m. xx

[MDBiker]

30 days???

GREAT NEWS TEX!!!!
WOO HOO!

:happy: WE'RE WINNING :crazymonkey: WE'RE WINNING:happy:


Luv, I have been thinking about you. I think you are doing great. I am so glad you are there.

Boots, I just know you are going to have great results; and I am really happy you are decided about being AF. I think it is the best thing I have ever done in my life. I also am praying your hubby has great success. :huggy

Nibs, I knew winter had hit you. Looks like it is really cold there too. Bundle up and drink a little spiced tea for me.

Magic, both ends? lol

Bird, your tree looks great. We haven't put one up this year. I am not sure why. One of the most memorable christmas trees we ever had was when we didn't put up a tree. I should have my butt kicked because the kids were still pretty young and I was not in the mood for Christmas. We were broke, I had been off work, it just didn't feel like Christmas, and as usual I am sure I was drinking. The night before Christmas, I went to all the convenience stores and truck stops picking up "stocking stuffers" because I had forgotten to get them.(Gifts most kids would never think of getting in a stocking lol) That night mama bear and I went down the road a ways and I pulled up an Iron weed that was about 6 foot tall. It was shaped like a tree, and it was dried out completely. I took it home, we decorated it like a tree, and Santa left the presents there under the Christmas Weed. The kids were awe struck when they got up, and it is a Christmas they will never forget. I still sing the old favorite song "Oh Christmas Weed, Oh Christmas Weed, ..."

More2, when I read Luv's email, I also sat and cried a few tears. I so miss my dad. He was such a wonderful person, and I was not ready to let him go. When I think of him I can still feel his love; and he has been gone now 23 years. You won't get "over" it, but you will get comfortable with it. He left me such great memories, and taught me more than even he realized.

Whew, that made my heart swell up and come dribbling down my cheeks.

I love you all,

bear

Ok bird, you taught me something! here is an attachment depicting West Texas . . . er sort of.

Attached files [img]/converted_files/384202=2779-attachment.gif[/img]

[Guest]

30 days???

The seminar is going GREAT, today was easier. Yesterdya we all told our stories...how we got there, geez it was almost as bad as his funeral. Today, we started working on the one thing we can't let go of to help us heal. You all know mine....the guilt of no good-bue and fighting with him the day he died, then his family blaming me for his death. Well, they do this therapy called EMDR, you focus on the one thing you can't get past, it works! I no longer feel responsible. Billy went to that same bar at least 25 times during the three years I knew him and came home safe. Not to mention he was 36, I couldn't have made him stay home even if I had tried. I am at peace with it.
More2, hope your day was OK....I hope you have reached a point the tears are happy tears, tears of sadness that your Daddy is gone, but tears of happiness in his memories.
Bird, you sound good!!!!! The tree is pretty too. I love it.

[toughintexas]

30 days???

THANKS BEAR...WE'RE WINNING IS TRUE! Bird, get this, hubby and I, alone, watched Ratotauille (sp!), the Disney movie, you know its boring when adults are clapping on the couch about a chef rat! lol It was way cute tho! I've been so stressed, I could only handle the "not too deep" type of shows! Also, Bird, I can understand exactly what you mean about seeing the good leftover from the father of your kids...and you are right to have kept him at arms length for you, and the girls sake, but, there's some good in all of us, its just sad that some are so horrid as you put it, that nobody can even venture out to think of the good stuff, til they are dead....but, because of you, your kids have the best of both parents in them, you are a great Mom! NIBS, snow or not, girlfriend, where have you been!!!???? Been worried about you big time! LUVBUG, I know doing this "work" is hard, but I'm soooo glad you are doing this for yourself, it'll save you later...and Bear is right again, like I told More2, it never gets easier, it just gets kinda "doable", but the holidays just make this type of thing, lots harder! Gotta get to bed, gotta put my new running shoes to a jog tomorrow! Probably thru the mall, since I have just started shopping! Love each and every single one of you! Boots, hope all is well...we'll make it, we will, we will!

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

i am tired but wanted to at least check in. luv i'm so proud of the work you are doing. it is hard work but it is good work. thank you for sharing it with us. we are your family. yes bear i'm af and continue and next week while doing my full on seminar to get clients for the next quarter i'm af all the way then i head in to taking care of hubby as he has surgery then into lenair for a finale to top it off. so i'm prepared. i'm into to af life. and i'm way happy about it. tonight i was thinking about bird and your children and so sorry really about your well ex. god comes in many ways. i hope this holiday surprises you. if i was close by, i'd be having a few visits with you. but i do via the waves. and i know the rest of us do... silly i know bird. but when i think of christmas i think of you and your picture. that is my christmas. cuz trust me there is no stuff up at my house..... couldn't find anything in the basement. too much stuff everywhere.....so if i know you will have a beautiful one that will make my heart shine.... honestly... stay tuned i just betcha some love thread elves are on the way. lol

[bird]

30 days???

Hi all,
We went to a Christmas deal out at the lake last night. Good thing to cuz I really wanted to break into the beer. There was a boat parade, very pretty and big bonfires and s'mores and santa and a guy playing Christmas carols on guitar. I took some pics might post later but want to shut the pc down before the kids get up. My 11 yeor old is getting addicted to neopets.com and I'm gonna have to nip that in the bud.....Bear that was funny about the Christmas weed and stocking stuffers and I know what all of you mean about your dads. Mine gone 37 years and I still break up over that every once in awhile. Tex I saw Ratat??? also. I see alot of those kid movies and alot of them will are so so good. The shrek movies are great. Hey I used to live in Austin for about a year you Texans. Bootsie so glad you are so AFing. Sorry about the hubby and his surgery sounds like you have your plate full and doing well with it all. Most of the stuff on our tree is stuff the kids make at school. I dont remember doing much for Christmas though before I had them. Maybe some lights around the house sometimes. Nibs hope you are having great fun in the snow and soup. Luv sounds like the seminar is doing you loads of good. Everybody thankyou for helping me get through this past week. I have nobody I want to talk to about that stuff except right here. I am feeling alot better..love to all bird