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    #2671
    30 days???

    Hi all'
    Been busy with kid stuff. Had the class parties yesterday and it was fun with parents to talk to and someone gave me a walmart card that had been to our halloween party. Then last night my 10 y.o. had a violin concert at the arts center and it was really nice with fancy finger food after. So today was the last day of school before Xmas break and they had a program with choir and teachers singing and all very weepy sort of stuff. Then they said well we have all this stuff for you here in the office. So I went in and it was tons of wrapped up stuff for my kids and I started crying a bit. Ive cryed more the last 3 weeks than the past 10 years. So they brought a garden cart to haul it all out to my car. The cart was broken so I took it to work and fixed it. They said because I do alot of volunteer work and cuz my kids are no problem and I do alot with them is why they picked us. There were alot of hugs going round and I talked to the principal a long time about maybe coming to work there when everything gets straightened out with the S.S. for my kids. Antway the girls are yelling at me to come to bed and I am very very tired. Love to all. Untill tomorrow. bird

    Comment

      #2672
      30 days???

      LUV BUG CALL ME BACK ASAP .........
      :welcome:

      Comment

        #2673
        30 days???

        Hi guys, just checking in to let you know I am doing fine, so don't worry about me. I know this is a very hard time of year for everyone, and I am so proud of all of you for how far you have come in the last 8 months. We are all different people from when this thread was started on April 16th. Look at what God has done in our lives. Are we perfect? Not by any stretch of the imagination; but we are all so much better off.

        A work in progress.

        I love you all and wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart. God is faithful.

        I love you all

        bear
        What St. Frances of Assisi said of himself is true for me.
        ?If God can work through me He can work through anybody.?

        Comment

          #2674
          30 days???

          yep call me i just pmd you
          :welcome:

          Comment

            #2675
            30 days???

            OMG, I started this thread and I amletting you all down. I AM SICK TODAY!!!! I am going to look at the file. Maybe you would maybe you wouldn't. You can't say unless you have bee in my spot. I have been accused of killing him, welll I want to see what I did to this big brutal man........even though I KNOW HIS DEATH WAS HIS CHOICE. Do you know the pain of someoe MOTHER telling you, you killed their child??????? I am a Mother.......let me tell you the bitch wouldn't come to my babies funeral much lesss pay for it.

            Comment

              #2676
              30 days???

              Boootsie and Bear...THANK-YOU

              Comment

                #2677
                30 days???

                Luv,

                I cannot begin to understand the pain you are in right now.... :l :l

                I know Bootsie and Bear and all the rest are all taking care of you but I do so want to hug you and make all the pain go away.

                I truly wish I could.

                Do whatever you think you should about Billy's file. Whatever. You are not letting anyone down with that.

                Just remember, there are living breathing people here who care. We so do.

                As for Billy's mom. Please remember, she is just trying to make what happened somewhat less painful for her. If she wants to blame you, let her and let it go. A mama lost her baby.

                A wonderful woman lost her love...

                You are going to be okay, your children are going to be okay and you are taking care of your mama.

                Send love to Billy, he is listening.

                Love you!!

                Cindi
                AF April 9, 2016

                Comment

                  #2678
                  30 days???

                  I honestly don't know if I will make it through this. You HAVE NO IDEA how hard I tried to help Billy ad save him, fron himself and his family. BUT, no secrets here........Billly was in PRISON for 17 yrs for murder.....he went in at 16. I HAVE NEVER even known someone in jail......I just wanted to help him....I wanted him to have the life he never was given a chance to have. He killled another drug dealer.......judge me, judge him, I really don't care. He was a GOOD person. He MADE a bad mistake because his wonderful family PUT him in that spot. I NEVER judge people since. I have NEVER been ashamed of him or loved him less.

                  Comment

                    #2679
                    30 days???

                    Dear Luv

                    I am just sending my love.

                    m. xx
                    ~Are you looking for the Holy One?
                    I am in the next seat.
                    My shoulder is against yours. ~Kabir

                    Comment

                      #2680
                      30 days???

                      I am FINE...seeing his file was th BEST thing I could have ever done for myself. YES there was significant trauma, BUT I have seen FAR WORSE, and what brought me peace was I know he died instantly. There was VERY little blood, which means his heart stopped pumping ...he died instantly. He did not SUFFER!!!!!! He is in heaven handsome as ever and I will see him again. The anticipation was far worse than the reality.

                      Comment

                        #2681
                        30 days???

                        Luv,

                        I am so glad it had the effect you felt you needed.

                        You know we love you so much and just want you to feel better about Billy's life and death on this earth. You were lucky, you had someone you truly loved.

                        I am relieved that his death was instant and now you can say "good-bye" properly.

                        Sleep well tonight.

                        Love,
                        Cindi
                        AF April 9, 2016

                        Comment

                          #2682
                          30 days???

                          Good for you LUV. Ihope this can be the closure you need to move on. It always seems the things we fear most are mostly in our minds. Love and hugs to you :huggy

                          bear
                          What St. Frances of Assisi said of himself is true for me.
                          ?If God can work through me He can work through anybody.?

                          Comment

                            #2683
                            30 days???

                            just read bird's good news and now have read luv's good news. i am so pleased that i have tears of joy in my eyes for you both.

                            xoxo

                            Comment

                              #2684
                              30 days???

                              The support of this group helped me make it through. I talked to Bear, Bootsie and Cindi ...thank-you for being there for me. I love all of you. Thanks Lucky for popping in and showing support also. I really wasn't sure how today would go, but I am at peace. And the pictures i have in my head now are his handsome face, smiling and fishing. Not what I saw today. That was his shell here on earth. All the good STUFF is in heaven!!!!

                              Me and my girlfriend did have a little laugh afterwards....I KNEW what underwear he had died in because after his death I couldn't find them....they were navy blue with little red hearts ALL OVER them. Billy was a BIG guy, I bet when the police saw that they laughed too. I could see his underwear in one of the pictures so it confirmed it.

                              Comment

                                #2685
                                30 days???

                                yes girl you are the strength i knew you were. all steel. all steel now go to landmark right.... that is the promise you made me
                                google landmark education and you are doing that course right now. my blood work came back not good so every dr is rushing me in starting tomorrow and xmas eve and thursday next week. so i'm doing my part. you do yours. you do landmark course and i promise not to have fucking cancer. okay lisa...... i promise.. you do this for me and i'll do this for you and billy and your mama oh and sperm donor
                                :welcome:

                                Comment

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