30 days???

[Niblet]

30 days???

Oh and Det, you are so amazing with that saying... It is soooo true... Thank-You so much !!! xxxx

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Nibs, I just love the heck outta you! You are such an inspiration, and so positive and so cheerful and just, such a blessing all the way around! Bear, glad you got to take a spin, it was wonderous here yesterday too, I was laying out in the hammock and on the diving board, dreaming of summer sun....it felt so good after being inside feeling like a piece of horse poop, then today, I kinda overdid it, and had to crawl back inside, and back on the couch....yikes, this CRUD is awful....note to all, if you get this flu bug, don't push it, it takes awhile to recoup, so try to just go with it, personally, I suck at "sick" so I never can get it right....just makes it take longer if you push it.....yucky.....Welcome to all new folks, and Bootsie, great to hear you are doing soooo good, congrat's so much! Luv, hang in, you are gonna be ok....Det., you can do this, you will do this dude, you can't go feeling that bad again, trust me, the older you get, the harder it is to bounce back....its too hard to feel bad...as Chief says...."its harder to keep drinking, than it is to quit.."....whew.....no kidding huh! Love you all!

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

good morning all i thought i'd get up early before said long day and say hello to my people.. nibs you are such a hoot. just love you. bird congrats on your days. whoop whoop. luv you can do this honey. you know you can... topa topa. well, det what i did was go to lenair.com and do a 3 day session with her and since that time i just don't have any want need calling or thinking about alcohol anymore. is as if i didn't ever drink to stupidity daily at one point and then 3 times a week and then well who knows. hahhaahahha but i do know that life is completely altered and the only thing i remember is don't pick up a drink. now, it isn't cuz i want one. i think sometimes wouldn't it be nice. but it is a thought and i'm not going to undue everything i did t lenair. i had i think one chance and i'm not looking to blow it. so for the money it cost it was worth it. next up i'm going to make an appt so i can conquer the cigs and well interestingly enough she can recalibrate my system back to before i was abused as a child. like she recalibrated me to before i became an alcoholic or simply reframed my system. so i know that if i were to do this my whole entire way of thinking etc would shift. i realize that still for as much therapy etc that i've done, much of my deeply routed pain and fear is created from that source of abuse.. so to remove it would have my life show up way different. and i'm so ready you have no idea.
tex that was a real heart warming and wake up call message. i really see how tunneled in i had gotten with my drinking.. i now am calling the last two to three years the lost years. time went by and i have no idea what i was doing with the exception of drinking because i just lost touch with everyone. i will say though wow, my relationships are not so crazy or scattered. much more solid footing. love you
me

[Cinders]

30 days???

Posting what I posted in Monthly Abs.

I just wanted to post the message I posted today in monthly abs: It means SOO much to me.

Love you all, THIS MUCH!!

First off, all of my friends, I would NEVER cut myself off from you. I rely on you so much to be there, to be support, and to support.

I stayed SOBER!! I STAYED SOBER!! Despite what I went through yesterday.

My daughter is going to be fine AS LONG AS SHE DOES NOT DRINK ANOTHER DROP OF ALCOHOL FOR AT LEAST SIX MONTHS!!!! That is what the doctor yesterday told her. He explained that ALL of her symptoms are liver damage related from drinking. OMG, this child is only 26 years old!!

Her eyes welled up with tears. She afraid. She is scared. Just like all of us who have looked at ourselves and admitted, we must stop. It is scary, it is hard, it is...

My daughter's wrists are the size of her 5 year old daughter's. Her hair is falling out. She has bruises all over her body. LIVER DAMAGE!!

BUT, the doctor said, the liver is not damaged beyond repair and can heal itself IF SHE DOES NOT DRINK. And he told her "that does not mean, okay, I can have a glass here at dinner or once in a while." He explained to her, it means NO ALCOHOL!!

She is afraid because she knows how hard that will be to do. (Hmmm, just like us, huh??)

He said, "in Nov, your enzymes were 4 times what they should have been, which was, kinda bad, now they are 10 times what they should be, which is really bad, but if you quit now you can undo all that harm."

It is sad that the hospital and doctors in November didn't tell her that her drinking was causing the harm because maybe she would have at least thought about it but at least today she knows.

However, today I know. And, more importantly, I know I cannot do anything to make her stop. Period. It is not my life. (damn, mom's hate to let go... especially when they are harming themselves..) The only thing I can do at this point is support her and stay sober myself. PERIOD.

So. Checking in. On day 4 and working on day 5.

tkeene - I completely understand the desire. Read above. sigh

Mary - I am so happy you have not had "thoughts" lately but recognize they will come and just beat the b@st@rd back. (sorry to use invectives, but that is what AL is)

To the rest of you, remember, it doesn't matter how old or how young, AL can kick your butt, literally. My girl is a beautiful, sweet, kind human being who has raised a child on her own, bought her own home and always stood on her own. AL is trying to steal that away. She is now married to a young man who doesn't understand and it makes it even more difficult. She is a good mommy, a good daughter and a good person. AL is trying to suck that all away.

Let's all kick AL's butt today. Just for today.
Love,
Cindi
So, Bird, Luv, Boots, Det,

Let's kick Al's butt just for today. Okay? For my little girl... I love her THIS MUCH!!!

Actually, more than that....

Love,
Cindi

[Determinator]

30 days???

Cindi I'm SOO relieved that your daughter CAN make a full recovery. what a relief to get a second chance. Bootsie thanks for the insight.
TNT don't say you'll go down for the count.....must have positive reinforcement

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Cindi, that's great news, you can do it together, or at least, you can lead/show her the way....like I said, thank goodnesss we don't have something that is terminal, unless we let it be.....Det., I'm thinking positive, I swear, its just I know how evil this thing is, and I don't think I'm one bit better, or different than anybody on this entire site, so even tho I'm doing soooo well right now, I'm on my toes, and looking out, and watching for anything that would make me stumble and fall...I'm sooooo proud of my wonderful hubby, he's as awesome as DX, he drank much, much longer than I, altho he was never a mean drunk, or particularly hungover daily, ,it just made him feel not his best, and he's alot older than I too,...he was a Rph, in Europe, where, as I can totally understand the folks in the UK having more trouble, they put a carafe of red and white wine on the table, free, like water in most places, kids grow up drinking....his ex-wife's family all still lived in Italy, and Belgium, and they spent lots of time there each year, anyway, he drank wine like most of us Texans drink iced tea, he didn't realize, at first, that it affected the way and amount I drank, I felt like I had an "excuse" cuz he could drink that way, so why couldn't/shouldn't I?...kinda like you said Det., why can't we? its cuz our system is blown from it, we're allergic to it now, it a real sort of way, anyway... I'm such an ass when I overindulge, that he just couldn't handle it much anymore....he just got up one morning, and said aloud to me..."I'm not drinking like that anymore, I don't feel as good as I used to, its bound to be hurting me physically, its making you keep drinking, and I'm just going to stop this"....that was 6 mos. ago, he had a few drinks on New Years eve, and one glass of wine at a dinner party, and that's it...I know not everyone can do that, but he abused wine a long, long time, drank a bottle a night for years, weekends, more...and got goofy, and slurred his words, his kids would laugh when he called them cuz he was so tipsy, and he decided it was just nutso, he didn't like who he became, and who I became...he's really been supportive of me cutting back, and quitting too...he's praised me when I've cut back, he's brought me flowers home after days I haven't had a thing...our relationship, our relationships with grown kids, everyone, is sooo much better...Like Bootsie said...they aren't so scattered, and convoluted, and vague, and hazy, and just crazy....life is soooo much clearer, and so much more fun, and PRODUCTIVE and happy, when you aren't just existing to get by, get better from drinking too much, from trying to recoup from an evening of abusive behavior, whatever you've done...yuck....I can't believe I spent soooo many crazy, crazy nights.....I just get up praying every morning to never, ever be that person again....like I said, my cousin's situation really brought it home, what a waste of time, that soooo many people would give anything to have...and we take it for granted, and waste it, wasted! I'm sorry I've been so introspective lately, but whatever ramblings I have, maybe they'll strike a cord for someone else, so I'm not embarrased to tell all....Bird, that is so awesome for you too, you are such a great Mom, my Mom never drank too much, but she never was maternal either...she never spent time with us that it didn't feel like something she just had to do for show, or cuz it was expected, we never had fun and did silly things together, I'm glad I realized that much growing up, so I could be a better Mom too.....Luv does a great job of being a good Mom too...we are all trying really hard, and we will all make it! Where's Morrison and More2? They'll have to come out and play....I'm feeling a better today, the Flumadine finally kicked in, and I've blown half my brain out in Kleenex tissues today, I'm sure my IQ has gone down 50 pts. from loss of brain matter.....eewwwwwwwww....gross.....I know.....too much info!!!!!!

[MDBiker]

30 days???

I wrote a long post but I lost it. I hope all of you are doing well.

bear

[Guest]

30 days???

Cindi, thank-you so much for sharing with us. I am so moved by your post, I am crying. AL takes our life away, sometimes literally!!!!!! I wish I could just hug you both, we will beat this. We WILL beat this. Cindi does she know about this site? Maybe this is your personal spot, that is OK too!!!!! This is just so hard on your own. I could not do it without you all. I COULDN'T!!!

[Guest]

30 days???

We discussed meeting once....what if we set a place and time and whomeever could come would be wonderful!!!! I think this would be so magical to meet some of you.

[Niblet]

30 days???

Good Morning , Cindi and Tex, you guys really brought alot of light into my computer room this morning.. Thank-You for sharing from the bottom of my heart... Please give our best to your brave daughter Cindi... xxx
Together we will do this in whatever degree is healthy for us.. We all deserve to be as healthy as we can be
Yesterday I was going to stop by but got an email from my friend in Trout Creek MI, that her percheron passed away... They have 3, using the two as a brilliant team.. Smartest, most gentle giants that took us on a hay ride once when we went to their lovely farm... I'm so sad for them as Jacques was such a member of their family... He had accute, peritonitis which I'm guessing had to do with artheritic type symptoms... So, I spent my computer time making her the most beautiful "horsey" sympathy card complete with a gray horse...

Thank goodness it is starting to warm up around here.

Bootsie, Hon when I was only 12 I had a friend that talked me into trying cigs... I was hooked and smoked until I was 17... It was so tough to quit, but the most rewarding thing I had ever done. Keep us posted on your progress and I wish you all the world of encouragement.
Well, I hope that everybody has a "Happy Humpday", Hugs, xxx

[Niblet]

30 days???

Oh and Luv, Hubby and I will be going to Kentucky next July for our 25th anniversary...
We just live sooo far away from you all.. It would be absolutely amazing to meet some of you though !!!!!!! Take Care Sweetie xxx

[Cinders]

30 days???

My friends,

Luv, Thank you. Yes. AL steals away so much. We are going to stop it in our lives..

Nibs, you always give us such wonderful news and sad news and a great picture of your life. You are a kind spirit here.

Bear, sorry you lost your post. Dial up sucks. :H

TNT, I truly hope you are feeling better. :l I know what you mean about your hubby. I lived in Germany back when you could order a "Fish Mac und Bier, bitte!" didn't matter how old you were. McDonald's caught on to that and made them quit serving beer. It probably hurt sales there, but at least the company made an ethical stand. Few do when dollars involved. Your hubby's ability shows how much our brain's attitude has to do with beating this thing.

Bird, I have to agree with TNT and others. You are in incredible mom!! You spend so much time with your girls and think of things to do with them as well as understand when they are going through rough times. There is no other more important thing in the world to do, period.

Bootsie, I am so glad you are doing so well with being a non-drinker. :l Now, all you have to do is work on getting healed healthwise. Please do. You are a special, special person here. A healthy Bootsie is important to all of us.

Take care all.

I am hanging in there.

Love,
Cindi

[Dolly Sunshine]

30 days???

LUVUALL;271607 wrote: Cindi, thank-you so much for sharing with us. I am so moved by your post, I am crying. AL takes our life away, sometimes literally!!!!!! I wish I could just hug you both, we will beat this. We WILL beat this. Cindi does she know about this site? Maybe this is your personal spot, that is OK too!!!!! This is just so hard on your own. I could not do it without you all. I COULDN'T!!!

I am crying also. Why do we do this?

[Cinders]

30 days???

Dolly,

Because we know. Truly know what this is doing to us, all of us.

Thank you for caring. It means so much to me. :l

Love,
Cindi

[Determinator]

30 days???

we do this because we allow our primitive middle brain to hijack our frontal cortex. hows that for a quick answer? I know it's complex but that's it in a nutshell. So we know what to do...and we are doing it. I don't drink, therefore I'm not drinking today.....and I'm bloody well happy about that be well my friends and yes Cindi please get your special girl on here if possible. I'm on the road now....will be driving all day and check in at hotel tonight.
Be well friends.