30 days???

[cowgal]

30 days???

strong

You are so strong and determined LUV,:goodjob: call or pm me any time, I could sure use the help!

love you!!!!!!!!:l:h

[brittzak]

30 days???

MA, I have been below low before...I just refuse to go there again. I can not afford to. I will lose everything, I have to fight and keep fighting. AND you do too!!!!! I love you.

[toughintexas]

30 days???

I love each and every one of you, and I'm so glad that if in any way whatsoever, it gave any of you, positive reinforcement, for even going "outside the box" maybe, and it helped, in any small way, I'm sooooo excited for you....for Luv and Cindi, that got zippo, I hate that!!!! Like I said, I feel as badly for those whom it didn't help, as I am estatic for those it did help! I guess the bottom-line is, for awhile, we all thought it was a CURE ALL, a MAGIC BULLET, and we know now, it isn't...so it'll make the decision more of a personal choice, in a way of what you expect....I still think tho, that if it didn't help at all, they should, as a non-profit org., getting that status to "help everyone", they should do something to help you back.....just my stinkin thinkin I guess! Cowgal, I truly believe that you NEED TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR CURRENT SITUATION, AND YES, LIKE LUCKY, DO SOMETHING POSITIVE, JUST FOR YOU...and go on and come, you have sooo many things bugging you, even if Rhonda just addresses a few of them for you, you are better off, so you come on if you wish, and get away from that abusive atmosphere, trust me, betw. ME and RHONDA, you'll go home different for SURE...lol...I'm a badass! LOL LOL....and I'm FREE! At least on that abusive crap you have going on!

[bird]

30 days???

Hi all,
I'm on my way to bed, but was thinking about how it would be to visit Nibs. I have such a visual in my head about how it looks and smells and everyone there and what they are doing. Animals included. It would be like walking into a book or a movie set and having all the characters and scenery come to life. Maybe one of these years.....bird

[toughintexas]

30 days???

More2, you are correct, and we could take sugar pills to replace the Canada Rx's, or overseas otherwise..its's a mindset period...I don't like to shove anything down anyone's throat, but the Celebrate Recovery thing is sooooo not judgemental.....and they don't believe, even as BAPTISTS, that you have to abstain, or go to "secret meetings" all your life...that having an "addiction" is so not a "label"....its akin to an eating disorder, which they address also, Celebrate Recovery is about food, co-dependancy, alcohol, drugs, gambling, OCD, you name it....so they tell you that you can take your POWER back, you can moderate, you can handle it, no matter how....its awesome, and they tell you....quit thinking about it so much! We are what we believe.....I'd encourage everyone to look at their surroundings for a Celebrate Recovery group...its really cool....and yes, I do just like More2, I take a Anatbuse on Sundays, and mod on weekends, nobody has ever said, you can't take control...its like being as they say in Celebrate Recovery....eat a bucket of chicken as a food addict, or just a breast...you can have a glass or two of wine...not a box, and its OK....just take your control back, however you get it...and DO IT...you don't have to suffer forever, take your willpower, and control back and do it...if you were on a diet to loose 15 lbs, you couldn't have a Jumbo Snickers, but you could have the mini sized for a lil snack...have a glass or 2, however you have to get to that point, like me and More2, and get outta the habit of dealing with crap on a daily basis with wine and do something else, it sounds simple, but it really is, if you quit all your focus on AL.....lol....ok, I know I'm fixing to get slammed now....lol....

[Cinders]

30 days???

Hi, Everyone,

Nibs - Thank you for checking in. You are one busy lady!! Like Bird, I would love to come visit you and see your place and all you do. I am sure it would end my "I travel for a living" pity party!!

TIT and MORE2, I am with you both in believing in Jesus. God is helping me right now. I don't think there are two pair of footprints in the sand, just one. I smile every day with the progress I am making. In AA my first night back after Lenair, a woman said something that really hit me hard. "Do you tell God how big your problems are instead of telling your problems how big God is?" I try to remember that every day.

The Antabuse has been a true Godsend for me. It does change the mindset. I can look at alcohol now as a poison to my body because it is. I can just smile when the drinking thoughts come.

Greenie, Luv, OkyDoky, Best, Buckle, Momof3, for me Lenair was a blessing. I had put all my eggs in that basket and it didn't work for me. After a two day pity party and drinking, I woke up and said "Enough!!!!" As AA says, "we looked for a kinder gentler way..." In my case, I just told myself, "Okay, girl, no easy way out for you. You simply have to do whatever it takes." Letting myself realize I simply have to work for it was a relief. Today I am sober, happy and peaceful. I take my Antabuse so there is no way I can slip and will do so for as long as I have to.

Bird, Let me know when you are going to visit Nibs. I'll hitch a ride.

I love you guys!!
Cindi

[momof3]

30 days???

Cindi, I'm so very happy for you. You sound positive and strong. It sounds like there is absolutely no room for alcohol in your life anymore. You are free. Hooray!

Over 4 months for me now!

xxoo
mo3

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Cindi, I'm soooo proud of you too! I remember when you were struggling soooo hard!! You are truly an inspiration, as you are too Momof3, and Lucky, and Greenie, and EVERYBODY, LUV, all of you, are such winners!!! More2, OMG, I always cringed at those questions too!!!! And I got them at John Hopkins, and LIED....it was too shameful to write the REAL answer!!! I thank God everyday, and Cindi, I have that in my morning journal.... "Start telling your problems how big your GOD is!" More2, I'm laughing my ass off right now....you reminded me of a story from high school....a bunch of us that had been best friends since kindergarden were going to sneak in the Apache Drive-In, and catch some NAKED MOVIES....LOL....now back then, that was like R rated is today.....anyway, one of our friends had a big ol station wagon her parents were making her drive til they knew she was going to be a good driver, it was a clunker for sure, it spit and sputtered everytime we started her up, and we all ducked so nobody would see us when we took off in it....(like they didn't know, but you know, in high school, you gotta save as much face as possible!)....so, there was 5 of us, and all our parents know each other, and are pretty much in the social scene of our lil town of Tyler, Texas....2 of us are in the front seat, and 3 are in the back of the paddy wagon, covered up with a blanket, hiding....sneaking in....we're about to pull thru the gate, and our nuttiest friend starts freaking out....she's going, OMG, OMG...WHAT IF ONE OF OUR PARENTS FRIENDS SEES US!!!!!!?????!!!!!!! I mean she's white as a sheet and about to hyperventilate! The rest of us are going....HELLO DUH DUMMY, IF THEY SEE US IN HERE, THEY ARE IN HERE TOO...YOU THINK THEY ARE GOING TO GO RIGHT TO SUNDAY SCHOOL AND TELL OUR FOLKS THEY SAW US AT THE PORN FLICKS!!!!?????......LOL LOL LOL! So that stuff never has bothered me....lol.....the Celebrate Recovery thing isn't just for alkies, its for folks with eating disorders, gambling, whatever, and if they see me there, well hell, they are there for some reason too!!!! I understand your hubby's deal tho, we're not supposed to be flawed, but God knows I am! Go to one in Palm Springs....I bet they have one there if you want to go and don't wanna see anyone you know, its really a great Christian deal, and its all the same program as the one started at Saddleback church in Ca., in every city, and around the world. Just an option to help stay on track, a trick in my toolbox! I'm gonna try the aspirin trick too, matter of fact....I'll tell you this, hubby had some Vicoprofen from his back injections, and they are generic, and the exact size and shape and color of the antabuse, and I thought last Sunday I took the antabuse, then I saw him take a pill outta the same bottle I took my pill from, and freaked out telling him he'd just shallowed an antabuse, and he said, did not, that was Vicoprofen!!! So, I'd made it til Thurs. night, thinking I'd taken it, and hadn't! I was spazzing, thinking he'd go have a beer in the pool, and I'd be trying to haul him out, with him not breathing!!! BTW, showing your house at 8am, its just the crappiest thing...who can look at a house in their right mind at that time of the morning, lordy, I gotta have til 10am, and some coffee for that! I'm with all of you on the antabuse thing tho, its a lifesaver! I too woke up, feeling like I wanted to just hide under the covers, wondering if I stayed in bed a lil longer, would I feel any better, pissed at myself once again, spending a whole day on the couch about to die after a binge, thinking I would have to die to feel better...hating myself... Even tho that wasn't the normal for me, the binges didn't happen all the time, but when they did, it was horrible...but the daily routine was the same as More2's, I'd go to the grocery to get something I "forgot", just to get another bottle of wine for the 6pm feeding...lol...I'd try to just buy one bottle at a time, then hell, everyday, I'd have to go back for more, cuz I drank the whole thing the night before...I mean I'd spread it out...from 6 to 10pm, and have tea or sparkling water in betw., that's how I didn't wake up with a hangover....but, if I ever gave in, and bought a few bottles, I'd be pouring more, and drinking more....all the while knowing I was gonna feel like hell....how insane! Matter of fact, the definition of insanity is doing the samething, over and over, and expecting a DIFFERENT result!!!! I'm just sooo happy to go to the gym, be able to really work-out feeling good, wake-up and thank GOD that I can jump out and start the day, and feel good about it, and myself....I think I finally put enough effort into taking control, that the Big Guy and Bear in the Air, finally cut me some slack, and pitched in to help me win the battle! WHEW.....I'm not saying I'll never screw up again, because I never say never, but I pray NOT! The most liberating thing for me is, that I know I can have a lil bit on weekends, and now, I really savor the flavor, not just drink it to be drinking, and enjoy it as it should be, matching it to a good healthy meal, or just relaxing in the pool with hubby with a lil glass....its not an OMG, GOTTA HAVE IT, obsession.... took me a long, long, longtime to get there, but NEVER would have, without THIS PLACE, and all of YOU!!! This site, changed my life, and has enriched it soooo much. I've made sooooo many wonderful friends, that in itself, is a blessing too!!!

[brittzak]

30 days???

I think some good came from my trip to Lenair, it proved to ME that I wanted sobriety more than anything. I forked out a lot of money and went halfway across the country. It wasn't what I had hoped....but it wasn't a waste either. I am OK with where I am right now. I am sober, I am very active with my kids and work...I am just all around happy. I am on the supps...mainly because I think they make me feel better. I really think staying sober is FOR ME is staying focused on being sobber.

Everyone sounds great!!! I am off to Zak's ball practice...will be back on later.

[Niblet]

30 days???

Hats off to you Luv !!! I just love your attitude ! xxx Be proud of yourself because we all here sure are!

Awwww, Bird you are such a Sweet Gal xxx You and Cindi are welcome at my place any old time! I'd love to have you XXX Heck, I even have a vacant chicken coup for Cookie Jr, giggle, giggle

Cowgal, I have to agree with the others that you are in such a toxic situation right now... It is sooo difficult for a person to be rational when all they want is peace and quiet (in their thoughts I mean)
I want so badly for you to find what works for you... You sooo deserve all the happiness this old world can muster then a tad more. " You ARE A Good Person"

More2, I hope that showing went well, phewww ,,,, 8 friggen o'clock !!! I love that you are doing that experiment... Keep us posted regularly, I'm curious !!!

Tex, I also do as you and More2 do, no AL all week now for 3 weeks... I've been enjoying how I'm feeling and no cravings so far this week atall. Winey Wednesday is now de-caf coffee Wednesday
Although, I've got to say that I've got to cut down more on the weekends just the same....

And Momof3 is now 4 month AF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!! You are truely amazing !!!!!

Well, today was awesome until I was driving home and ran over a farmers cat... You know the type? They have cats uncounted kind of thing... well I could do nothing atall... he just jumped out of the grass and I was going 85 km... A swore, and didn't hear anything until the back tires.. A kinda thump... I looked immediately in my mirror and he was still high tailin' it into the bush... Damn!!! I turned around to go to the farmhouse.... The farmer said, "don't feel bad I shoot them sometimes when I get too many".. I just sobbed on the way home knowing that there was a wild cat injured and suffering and nobody loved him/her enough to euthenize it humanely... It was totally gone in the bushes... what could I do? So, while eating supper out on our deck tonight there was the most beautiful butterfly trying to get out through the glass window and couldn't... I scouped it up and saved it's lil' life xxx
I'm tuckin' in, Love you all, Hugs,xxx

[lucky 2.0]

30 days???

Niblet-

Give me a gun and I will shoot any animal non-lover. My blood is boiling. I will contain my language.

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Ditto here too, that makes me so dang mad....we have alot of that here in E. Texas, redneck Bubba's that act just the same.... shame! Nibs, glad you saved the butterfly tho!

[brittzak]

30 days???

OMG....hunt them down More2!!! LOL I would be so pissed. Your evening sounds nice!!! I am jealous. I was at the ball field until 8 with Zak....poor little fella...his Daddy picked him up and i met them there. He did not have a snack beforehand and was STARVING. Evry time he came to the dug-out he would say..."Mama, I can't make it until 8, I am gonna die"...LOL

Nibs...maybe we could neuter the farmer!

[bestlifeldms]

30 days???

Hi Everyone! You all sound great! Busy, but great! Hang in there Cowgal! So sorry, Nibs! Such a sick feeling when you feel that thud and don't even want to look in the rear view mirror! Busy, busy, with work, home and back and forth to visit MIL. She got moved from the hosp. to skilled nursing care, in the retirement community where she has her apartment. She has perked up a bit, friends visiting, etc. We are in uncharted territory with this. Have never experienced it before. Grateful that she has been good for so long. Oh, the farmer - yes, let's hunt him down! Cinders, that killer clown thing you got goin on there is pretty scarey! Love to all!

[toughintexas]

30 days???

More2, I'm soooo jealous too!!!! That is soooo sweet! GAWD, that's why I want to move from here, we couldn't go do anything like that unless we left town! I bet Shrek was awesome, I cried like a big 'ol baby in NYC over the Lion King, and Beauty and the Beast....lol...lol.... I WANNA HAVE LUNCH WITH YOU AND LUSHY TOO....WAHHHHHHWAHHHHHHWAHHHHHHH..... now I'm really bummed out! Best, glad your MIL is perked up a bit, and is in the nursing care center, just go with the flow, I'm not sure there's a specific way to get thru things like this, just have faith and be there, and just do what you can do. Hope everyone has a wonderful long holiday weekend!!! Safe, Sober and happy! Oh and More2, I'd have been sooo pissed those folks didn't show up at 8am.....OMG..... Love you all tons and buckets!