30 days???

[momof3]

30 days???

Ditto, ditto, ditto to everything that has been said. We love you tons.
:lM03

[brittzak]

30 days???

I love you all so much.....mainly for putting up with my crazy ass. I am going to rehab...OP rehab cause I can do it and take care of my children. THANK GOD they were not home. AND yes a friend picked them up for me. I had showered and looked half decent by the time they got here. They havent a clue. I have had a pinched nerve and was given SOMA....I read the damn directions and it said if you are an alcoholic...DONT take it....well................I did anyway. Well, one didnt help, 2 didnt help, so I kept taking them until I was psycho. I had 2 glasses of wine as well with it so that sure didnt help. I have not drink today and I will go through with rehab. I cant live this way anymore. I do GREAT for months and then crash...but when I crash...I CRASH. Not to mention I am a depressed mean drunk on top of it. I was going to AA today but i could barely walk half the day. ALL my muscles were RELAXED to say the least.
Lenair didnt work and it pisses me off, but it is no excuse. I think we all have lots of excuses....divorced, single, lonely, kids leaving, people we love dying.......OH ...that is LIFE. If the whole world got drunk every time life happens....WHEW...not to good.
LUVUALL...I just know Bear is shaking his head at me right now.

[momof3]

30 days???

Hi Luv,

I'm so very happy to hear that you are doing better. I want to share with you that the last time I had a lapse, i.e., over 6 months ago, I mixed wine with xanax. I was given xanax as a prescription when I was experiencing a lot of anxiety...went to a party and thought what the hell I can have some wine and well you know the story. I was a mess the next day.

Also, I have been in OP rehab and it was a very positive experience. I too chose OP so I could take care of my kids. Went in the evenings and I met a lot of very nice foks whom I am still in touch with. After OP, they had a continuing care program that was 2 hours each week.

I'm happy to hear that you are taking these steps.

xxoo
M03

[brittzak]

30 days???

Hell I drive myself nutty at times...LOL

[Cinders]

30 days???

LUV,

I am just grateful you didn't die, girl. That many pills even without the drink could have done that.

I shudder to think.

Bear is probably holding your hand right now. :l

Love,
Cindi

[brittzak]

30 days???

I know Cindi.......between Bear, Mama, and Billy.....my angels had to be looking out for me. Nver wished for my own personal angels, but I do believe they saved me. I cry every time I think of my poor children with no Mama. I am going to get on antabuse also. Just ordered it. It has helped a bunch of us here, so with it and AA, and OP rehab....I gotta be better.

[bestlifeldms]

30 days???

tomorrow will be 200 days. not sure it is worth it. shit still happens, people hurt us, manipulate us to try to have things their own way. we try for all the right reasons and no matter what, it's never good enough. Don't misunderstand, I'm not going to drink. Just sometimes it seems rediculous. I finally know that I can only please me. If I am satisfied with me, that's really should be enough. Just too tired of jumping through hoops. maintaining relationships with 5 grown kids (who I want to love me no matter what) Keeping fit, trying to maintain my looks, high powered job, big bread winner, the big house, all really stupid when it's someone elses dream, not mine. Living for other people just so they will love us... And then. wham, "Do you want me to move out?" WTF? I have just entered the freakin twilight zone. 'm just way too tired for this

[Cinders]

30 days???

Best,

OMG, I am so sorry you got hit like that. I know about the living to please others and in the end you never do anyway. It is like that, isn't it?

Sending you hugs, :l:l

and good thoughts.

I am sorry you are going through a rough patch.

Love,
Cindi

[brittzak]

30 days???

Best,
Stay strong honey. I think MANY of us here have these feelings. I know I am the bread winner, Cinders is too......always have been...everyone depends on us for everything. I have even thought about stepping out of my position because I really could care less about half the shit we have. It gets old trying so hard and being slammed all the time. BUT, sobriety is for US....no one else. I think one mistake I have made that keeps making me fail is I try so HARD to make up for the drunk times when sober, I end up back where I started. Lets make a deal.......those days are over. Long over for you and I am back on the wagon today. We can not change the past!!!!!!! I am so sorry you are in pain. Just dont let this set you back please. If you could see my more poor body today, you'd be scared sober. You are a strong wonderful woman!!!!!!! Please call one of us if you need us. I love you!!!!

[startingover]

30 days???

Hi,

Just wanted to say I am so glad you are back and sounding more positve Brittzak, it sounds like you have been to hell and back. I am so sorry.
I know exactly what you mean about trying to make up for the drunk times when sober.

Hugs and positve thougths to all of you here
Love Startingover xxx

[brittzak]

30 days???

I am so excited....in my dinky little town we have 1 meeting a week (AA).....I have looked around and all the others were SO FAR away from me....at least 30-45 minute drives. They just opened 3 more meetings in the town next to me.....SO, I can go 4 times a week. (I called a memeber here ans she told me) AND 1 is on Saturday at 8 PM....witching time. I am thrilled....I hadnt chosen a sponsor because there are only 2 women in my group here and one was they same sobriety as myself...and the other one we do not mesh. SO, this group is bigger adn meets 3 times a week....bound to find a sponsor there. MWO is great but I need more.

[CS04]

30 days???

Glad to hear you are finding some connections. Please let me know if uou have any words or wisdom.

[CS04]

30 days???

gotta go

[brittzak]

30 days???

CS04, have you tried AA...I know a bunch dont agree, but all the OP programs here follow the 12 step program......I live in the bible belt, so at least then one is close. I order antabuse and tops as well.

Does anyone know if I can take both???

[brittzak]

30 days???

TIT, will you please check on this for me...I did a search and I dont see where I can't take them both, but I dont wanna fall out or go nuts again. I would like to take them both because the Topa reduces the cravings and Antabuse makes it IMPOSSIBLE if there is a craving...