30 days???

[cowgal]

30 days???

Friday!

Well folks it is Friday for you all, my Monday, as I work all weekend and Monday, then off on Tues....................this job has some ups but alot of downs...............not looking forward to working all weekend!:upset:

LUV, glad to hear you doing better, I think w/ AA andMWO you will do better, use all the ammunition you can get your hands on!

Best....................wow, I feel for you....................relationships are trying at times.............at least you are sober! You can deal w/ anything better that way! I am going on 60 days in a while..................

Off to work, love everyone!!!!:h:l:h

MA

[greeneyes]

30 days???

Hi all!

Gee, Sherry.... I have your 200 day marked on my calendar. sorry you're not leaping for joy in anticipation at the moment. I'll do it for you. I'll even eat the ice cream. :H Seriously, you are correct. Love yourself. As you well know I am learning that lesson quite well at the moment. I still am in the twilight zone at times. I just can't believe this is my life but I can't change the past. I do look back at it but in an effort to learn from it, not make up for it. I can't change then, but I can change now. Now IS changing whether I like it or not so I do the best I can for the moment and try to make smart choices that are good for me. Make that "ME!" And for my final 2 cents... "Do you want me to move out?" strikes me as manipulation bait. I hope I'm not out of line saying that. I just say it because I care. :l

Everybody pamper yourself this weekend even if just in some small but indulgent way.

[momof3]

30 days???

Good Morning Strong Women

Good Morning,

Just finished catching up on my favorite thread..."30 days." Wow, there is so much going on with all of us. And, I think we are all handling it very well!

Luv, Wow, you are really going for it. I think it is so great that you are pulling out every tool you can...AA, OP, MWO, meds....taking out the big guns. FYI, The OP program I went to was 12 step based too. Also, there was a MD who headed up the program and he prescribed meds to help with cravings, etc. I took both antabuse and Campral for awhile. The Campral really helped with the cravings...takes a few days. When do you start OP?

Best, I am struggling with my marriage and have been for awhile. I honestly feel that if it weren't for the kids, I would have left him a long time ago. I do everything around the house, take care of the kids, organize our lives AND work...I am going 80 mph all of the time. I am now feeling that I have take over one of the things that he does manage: paying the bills. Monday, they shut our water off because he did not pay them, even though we had the money in the bank. This is not the first time...there have been several instances like that. So now, I am going to spend the weekend getting up to speed on the bill paying. I am so so so sorry for venting like this. My anger and resentment toward him are a huge trigger so I am trying to really be cautious and pay attention to that. But basically, I have checked out emotionally with him. I am focusing on myself and my kids...all I can handlle right now.

Love you all,
M03

[momof3]

30 days???

Addendum to Previous Post

More...

I am struggling so much with being around my husband right now because I am so angry. I have been staying super busy in the evenings...getting ready for Halloween with the girls, going to PTA meetings, tai chi, etc. But, I know I can't do this forever...feel very sad for the girls and what my husband and I are teaching them about relationships (or non relationships). We try not to argue/fight in front of them but I know my anger and bitterness spills out.

Any advice?

Thanks for listening

xxoo M03

[brittzak]

30 days???

Oh Momof3...relationships are so very hard. You vent here ANY TIME you like.

[bestlifeldms]

30 days???

More2, Cinders, Luv ~ thanks for the support.

Thanks Greenie! Yes 200 days today. And very glad I am where I am now. I'm trying to keep things compartmentalized. The points in your post seem very on-the-mark to me. Stay on your path. Sounds like the right one. You are soooo right-on about the "manipulation bait" thanks. Adds some clarity.

Momof3 - yep sure sucks when these relationships are in the crapper on top of everything else. I kept busy for years. Distracting myself with busy things. We do wait until the kids are raised. Then what? Then there we are ~ left looking at what is left. And that is different for each of us, I guess.

I have had many stressors in the past year and a half. Fire, problems with son, MIL dying, company I work for in the process of selling, moved, oh yea, and sobriety, etc. They say, don't make any rash decisions during these times, so I have tried not to. But now I am faced ~ dead on. So, I will. Going to see my therapist on monday for appointment. Will set up a series of discussions with her. It will help, I am sure. I just want to be sure that I don't sound like I am totally "out there". In the end, it comes down to the fact that this is my life, or what I have left of it. I just want peace. I was afraid of being alone for so many years, and now I realize I have been alone all this time. Married, but still alone. So what the hell is there to be afraid of. The only thing missing will be the stress that is created by this relationship.

[momof3]

30 days???

More2, Best, Luv

Thanks for the kind thoughts and advice. I too am at the place where I am having a hard time being in the same room as my husband. I have just lost respect for him I am sorry to say. He is not THE reason, but one of the reasons that I numbed myself with alcohol for so long.

Can't imagine divorce...just trying to live my life and get back to feeling at least some compassion for him. He is not a bad or abusive person...just lazy with absolutely no focus or drive at all.

We've been through counseling over the years, had many very hard conversations...just don't know what is left for us at this point.

Best, Congrats on the 200 mark...

[brittzak]

30 days???

More2...does hubby have a brother? JUST KIDDING...you do seem to have a very good, strong marriage. Makes me happy to see couples that love each other so much. (even if I am a bit jealous..LOL)

OK...I get to post it first cause I KNOW Greenie wont be home for awhile to get online. I finally met my first MWO friend. We had lunch today. Thought I might cry when I first saw her I was so excited. We just talked and talked. She is an adorable tiny little thing. I had always pictured her with black hair...don't know why. We planned it first thing this AM so I didnt look as good as I wished I had..LOL I am so glad to have met her. She has been a great support.

LUVUALL!!!!!

[brittzak]

30 days???

BEST.....WHIPPPPPPPEEEEE 200 days....you go girl! I am so very proud of you and for you.

[BecomingMeAtLast]

30 days???

britt, I don't know you but I know some people were very worried about you. It's good to see you online and posting!

[Guitarista]

30 days???

G'day everyone. Brit... great to hear you had a nice meet up with a MWOuter..... I'm new here, but feel such a close bond already with some ppl here. it's great,genuine, real, and supportive. and we all know each other through our battle's anyway...... Greg.

[greeneyes]

30 days???

Britz, hahaha - you barely had time for your butt to hit the chair to talk about lunch! :H

The guy called back and we talked about the job thing. Not exactly what I thought but I'm going up Sunday anyway for lunch with him and a drive a bit further north. Eeeeek! I can't believe I did that!!! I loved meeting you! :l More2 said to give you a big hug and a swat on the hiney but I didn't see it until I got back. You'll get it next time

[Cinders]

30 days???

Luvbug and Greenie,

So glad you got to meet!! BTW, what color is Greenie's hair? I am so curious because I have this view of her, too, and wonder how far off the mark I am. Isn't that hilarious?


Guitarista,

:welcome: to our 30 day thread. Anyone is welcome here. It is a warm, loving thread and we all do the very best we can to help and support each other. Glad to have you here!

Best,

:l:l I know about being, how do I say this pc, a little bit older and facing being alone. My marriage will break up if I continue to drink. It is that simple. Don't worry, I am doing fine right now but I did blow it last week for a couple of days and that set him off again. (Go figure and I truly don't blame him, really!!) However, the thought of being alone is scary but at the same time kinda not so bad. I hate to say that because I do love him but he is very right/wrong and that is hard for an alcoholic. I have learned the truth is, I cannot honestly say, "I will never drink again." I know this. It would be a lie. I may be able to go the rest of my life sober and never touch another drop. This is my goal and I am working very hard to achieve it, but still, to say it would be a lie. Because all of us are subject to blowing it. We are alcoholics. I know people hate that term but there are physical reasons for it as well as mental. It is a complex issue.

I hope my marriage does not end. It would be awful. But if it does, it does. All I can do is the best I can do.

You, too. You are doing great hitting that 200 days and I hope you keep going and going and going like the Energizer Bunny but you must take care of yourself first every single day to stay there. Do not let him derail you with this. I will pray that things go well for you no matter what happens.

Momof3,

Sorry about the lazy husband. My hubby says I am one lazy girl, too. Even though the last two days I put in 15 hours each working, it is my fault the garbage didn't get out and the house is a mess. He was gone this week until night before last and, of course, has not seen my working hard but then complained Wednesday night, last night and this morning about the fact that I am on the phone or on the computer from early in the morning until late at night. :H

He wants me to make the big $$ but doesn't want me to have to do the work required to do that.

Oh well.

Oh, btw, Hello to TIT, More2, Nibs, Bootsie, Morrison, Oky and everyone else.

I love you guys!!!
Love,
Cindi

[bird]

30 days???

Hi all,
Took me awhile to get caught up. Luv, you and I and MA ought to get together soon,since the weather is cooled off. I could go for a good long gab session. I got a batch of antabuse I ordered but dont want to start it till Monday. Hadn't been drinking much since I started with those jazz guys,too much practicing to do and I want to be good. My sister died a few days ago. I didnt know her well since I was adopted and have only known about her for a few years. Anyway she was strung out on demerol and had been for years and choked on her vomit. I hadnt spoke with her for a couple years since she was always asleep. Still a little tug at my heart. Really not much else going on. Tomorrow night we are going out to a fall fest at a nearby state park that has some really scary haunted house,haunted hayride,haunted nature trail and boat ride. Its a blast. Love you all. bird

[bestlifeldms]

30 days???

Oh Birdie, I'm so sorry. Even if you weren't close, it's still a loss. Take good care of yourself, and don't get too scared! Hugs, Best