30 days???

[cowgal]

30 days???

sorry

Sorry to hear about the disgusting things, LUV, that is horrible, Nibs, hope you had a good day, wow we have 2 new faces I haven't seen before...........

Joanna, and Zenstyle................welcome!:welcome::welcome:

The obsession crap is what gets me the worse, once I start drinking again, I want to every day to take care of stuff (stress, marriage crap etc) that without drinking I can take care of just fine.................I sometimes wonder if I was in a different living situation things would be different, but I am stuck in this for a while at least...................so one day at a time I will fight this thing.............it sucks though, the obsession was gone for a while, but it is back rearing it's ugly head DAILY, w/ work stress, Mike stress..............AAAUURGH!!! I don't know what to do, but am off to my 8:15 PM meeting tonight and I know I will feel better afterwards.............

THANK GOD!!:thanks:

lots of love,:l:h


MA

[brittzak]

30 days???

Joanna,
Welcome. If you like...join us here. We just share our day to day lives through our struggles. You are very welcome to join in.

[brittzak]

30 days???

We cross posted MA.....you stay strong girl. Go to AA, come here...you know what to do. One drink means ten...every damn time!!!! The cycle SUCKS...don't get started again. You are doing so well.

[cowgal]

30 days???

oh well

Mike says, for the millionth time he wants a divorce, not enough s*x....................I am so OVER it...............I signed up for the RN transition program and start classes in April.............I will sit for my boards probably in May of 2010, that will give me a $10,000 pay raise either where I work or at the hospital..........totally nothing I am used to but what the HE*L.......................I am looking to get out of this environment, it is sick and killing my soul.....................:h

MA

[cowgal]

30 days???

good day

Well, Mike got up and left to go to the beach alone, "because he doesn't have any friends", off there is a chili cook-off, I am sure he will enjoy it...........I will totally enjoy a day without him too!!

David wants me to meet his boyfriend for lunch or something this weekend, I am looking forward to that...................not sure if I shared any of that w/ you all or not, he told me he is gay a while ago, I am totally ok w/ it now, was wierd at first though............meeting Brandon will be a little awkward, he doesn't want Mike to go...........

I am buying tickets to see 10 Years, a rock band at a local bar............Floyds............Zac and I are going to do that, it ought to be fun!

Mike is VERY VERY upset that I signed the contract for the RN transition, he didn't even come home til God knows when last night, and now he is gone...........he is showing me, huh??

Our 19th wedding anniversary is St. Patty's day, not looking forward to that time, last year was rough and I ended up drinking...............:upset::upset:

Will try to just focus on today, going to a meeting now, then gym and pool, then riding th horses w/ my girlfriend:h.....................dread coming home though...................

love you guys!!:h

MA

[brittzak]

30 days???

Not to be so blunt, but what the heck, we are family here...I am surprised Mike can even "perform" to have sex as much as he drinks??? But, hey...just sayin. It helps to like the person you're having sex with. I am so PROUD of you for signing up. Good for you...there is a light honey.....follow it to the end of the tunnel. I hope you have a nice day with the boys.

[brittzak]

30 days???

I was still typing and it posted..LOL Went to Zak's opening ceremonies for ball this morning...he is getting so big. Sometimes I just look at him and get tears. I do the same when Brit sings at a concert. I just can't believe how big they are.

The hardwoods are done in the diningroom, so I am DONE redecorating!!!! It looks so nice.

[cowgal]

30 days???

yeah

I know what you mean LUV, I get so emotional w/ the kids, the are both "fine young men" and I am so proud of each of them, love them more than anything on this earth!!:h:h

off to the mall w/ Zac, he is driving, need a valium for this!:shocked:

happy and husband -free......I have a friend in AA who is a lawyer, so going to ask on Tues what I need to do to file for separation...............this is uncomfortable, but I think I need to do it................

will check in later...........off to the mall, my riding has been cancelled, or postponed til tomorrow............

XO:l:h

MA

[cowgal]

30 days???

ok

David just got home and it is midnight, Mike (I guess is home, truck is in driveway) and Zac is at a friend's for the night..............I am up................can't sleep..............alot swirling around in my head right now.....

Tomorrow I am going horse back riding w/ friend, who is really supportive about my problems w/ Mike, she is newly divorced and had us up for Christmas, so sees how our relationship is...........Mike went outside every 1/2 hour or so to drink a beer, couldn't stand to be in the house and around normal people............it was a little embarrassing! I will hang out w/ her for the afternoon..................I hope it is a good day, today was really really boring...........I am ready to get on w/ my life.

love and hugs.:l:h:l

MA

[greeneyes]

30 days???

MA :l I can't imagine YOU being bored!!! Really! Listen, being ready to get on is half the battle. It's like a turning point. Did you talk to your AA lawyer friend? Time flies so fast you'll be a single RN in the bat of an eye!

Luvie, how much planting did you do? I got the front shrubs hacked back and the little red car washed. I think you can get a ticket for driving a dirty convertible in the spring. You get to see all the little dings and stuff when you wash the car. Driver's window is acting up. Grrrr.... I was ready to pass out at 8:30. I managed a steamed cauliflower for dinner. Didn't have the energy to make the other stuff so I just ate the whole thing. :H

Nibs, I'm glad work is better for you. the bus thing must have been a fright for your son!

Hi TIT, more (glad you're home), joanna & zenny.

Sun's up. I hear the side shrubs calling me.

[Cinders]

30 days???

Hello everyone!!

I haven't been posting on this thread lately. I have been hiding out in subs or monthly abs. It seemed for a while after I got back strange things were occurring on some of the other threads. My mental state has been very good but I need to keep myself focused on staying sober right now. I simply cannot afford to relapse.

TIT - I love you and am so glad to see you back and doing well. Sorry about your girl's attitude. Tell her that when she has lived as long as you have, she can tell you how to live. Until then, tell her she has some growing up to do, herself!!

More2, Luv, Greenie, Nibs just a shout out, "Hi."

MA, I am thinking of you. I hope you get the answers you need about what to do about your marriage. You know we all are thinking of you.

Take care all, I'll check in later.

Love,
Cindi

[Niblet]

30 days???

Happy Sunday everybody
A Belated "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" Tex !!! You sound like you have hit your grove and have found the missing link in your life... I'm so gosh darn proud of you my friend xxx
A warm welcome Lexapro and Zen...
MA, I love your state of mind... You are doing some huge changing for "You"... Yahooooo !!!!! You can do this and we'll all be here along the way to support you... surround yourself with "up" people...
Cinders it's always so great to hear from you. You are truely missed.
It's great to hear from you More2.
Luv, I simply cannot wait to get my hands dirty out in the garden... It has been very warm the last couple days and I actually dried 2 loads of laundry outside for the first time this year .... Yahoooooo !
Oh and as for that baby that was starved to death... I'm totally speachless.. God must have been busy.. too sad
Tomorrow is Hubbys birthday and I'm taking him out to dinner... Our boys want to stay home as they both have dates... can you imagine my "baby" has a girlfriend? She is actually a sweet girl. My hubby knows her father as he is a carpenter.
Well, the sun is going down and the horses need to be tucked in for the night.
Well, I have to go into work early tomorrow but this is the last week before the March break.
Hugs, xxx

[brittzak]

30 days???

WHEW...i am BEAT. I worked in the yard so much I can barely move..I do this every Spring..ha ha But, got a alot planted and some of the beds re-mulched. I still have Billy's flower bed to do (dont know if you all remember but he and I used to garden together and compete...so I still keep his looking good..I spread some if his ashes there as well.) I am waiting on some roses to come in this week as a couple dont seem to have made it this year so I will replace them. Sunday took Brit to a BIG craftshow and then Zak to see WWE. I could care less about wrestling, but he was so cute it was so worth it to me. We screamed and had a good ol' time. Yhis week we get ready for Brit's pageant....and of course baseball almost every night. When did I ever have time to drink?

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Morning all! Hope everyone had a good weekend! MA, I'm so proud of you for signing up for the program, you deserve it, and you need to get out of that situation, that'd make a priest want to drink! You need to move forward all the way, you have tons to offer, and Luv is right, you have outgrown Mike, he knows it, and wants to do everything possible to hold you back, and keep you there and drunk like him! You are wayyyyyyy better than that! Don't start the cycle again, we all know, and I've been guilty of late too, that it is just the worst thing to do, and get over! It makes everything WORSE! More2 sent me a wonderful personalized bottle of champagne to celebrate my 50th with, (I know, we're awful considering how we met, her hubby pointed out....lol...but, hey, she knew I'd love it! lol Our bad!)....Anyway, Chuck forgot to give it to me, and yesterday afternoon went to the truck to get his one cigar of the day, and found my present, we stuck it in the freezer, and after an hour, made a pizza, and split the bottle. It was the only thing we had all day, and it was FINE. Saturday, we ran errands, and tried to play like we were on vacation, squeezing our eyes real tight, and playing like Palestine, Texas was Colorado....lol....we went to the ony decent restaurant in this hell hole, Applebees (whhhhooowhooo), and sat there and talked about everything, and split a lunch, and had a glass of wine, and went home to watch movies, and were in the bed, on Sat. night, at 9pm! We were just pooped, and decided, what the heck, we'll go on to bed! Didn't do squat yesterday. I guess we've run around so much, we just needed a weekend to recoup and rest! Thing is, I can't believe my control and how its soooo not an issue right now. I think the last booger I pulled, just really made me sick and tired, of being sick and tired of it all, and I really wanted my 50th birthday to be a turning point. Whether like I said, God answered my prayers after being on my knees so many times, or he sent me the councelor in Colo. that suggested the Lexapro, I give Him the credit, but its like a miracle. I'm so happy, and plan on keeping it that way! I love you all! I'm trying to get my winter stuff packed to take to Colorado on Weds. We left there on the 15th of Feb., and didn't know then that hubby wouldn't be able to get a relief Rph. to work in March, and we weren't scheduled to go back til the 15th of April. I'm flying up with a friend on Weds. and taking care of the stuff in the pantry that will have grown penicillin by April, and start the truck, and secure the perimeters! Not to mention, chilll-out, see my friends there, and just be in my safe haven, where I've declared it a "no whine zone", and "no negative zone"! I can't wait to open my backdoor there, and go to my fav restaurant. Hubby is letting me have a girls trip for part of my 50th birthday! He's the bestest hubby!

[Niblet]

30 days???

Hello everybody,
Just thought I'd dig out thread out of day 2...
I'll be tucking in early... I just thought I'd stop by before hopping in the shower and watching some tv...
We have a high wind warning and boy oh boy !!! It's howling for sure !!!
Well, I hope that all is well with you all, Hugs, xxx