30 days???

[Guest]

30 days???

Thanks guys, you all will never know how much it helps me being able to come here to vent and get support. Gets me through each day and evening AF....seriously!!!! I am so grateful!!!

[MDBiker]

30 days???

Luv, you do he same for all of us even with all you are having to deal with at home.
I think you are an amazing person.

[MDBiker]

30 days???

Sorry I haven't been here as I should be, it looks like things are busy for everyone. Tex, one day at work and you are wound up tighter than a one legged woman at an ass kicking contest. I can smell exuberance when you post. I hope you are feeling as good as you “sound”.

That last shift thing is appropriate for a Woo Hoo Niblet. Maybe you will be able to get some “YOU” time in. By the way, want to go camping . . . grin.

Hereatlast, it seems like you have had a full plate, but you are finally getting the flood damage in control, and it has been quicker than you thought. I know from experience, when the wedding is over, all the little casualties are only more memories. 2 days AF is a good thing and I think the first 30 are the hardest. Hang in there, we are here for you.

Barbie, 20,000 acres sounds like a New Mexico, Arizona, Montana, or Wyoming ranch. That’s a whole lot of land to keep up with. I have a friend who leases ranches like that and runs his cattle with helicopters. I am glad you are sleeping better; I think sleep is a major advantage of being AF.

Tex, you don’t need to blame your dittziness on the drugs, we already know you. Lol I bet if you were a dishrag you had a scrubbing pad on the end.

More2, good to see you here I know you are busy, but you need to slow a little for mental health. Take care of yourself and hopefully the work will slow.

I am glad to see you are here posting louise. How are you doing?

I have had a long day and I am soon to bed for a short time.
bear

[Guest]

30 days???

Good morning all. Up early today. This is my normal post time....have missed it, been sleeping I have been so tired, but up today havig my coffee. A friend of Billy's was shot and killed Tuesday. Found out yesterday...very sad...he left behind a 5 year old daughter. Went by his ex-wife's house yesterday as she and I are good friends, our boys play baseball together....she is a wreck of course, she just hugged me. Asked me to please come to the funeral...I said of course I will come...WELL, didn't know when I commit myself the funeral is at the same funeral home that Billy's was at. I have not been back since his, so I have to go now as I promised her I would and she is my friend and will be expecting me. Sometimes I stick myfoot in my mouth. I have had the worst week. I will have been to 2 funeral this week and of 2 good friends and dealing with Mama. I tell you ifm I stay sobber through all this...I will never drink again, I KNOW it.
I am so glad to see everyone is doing good on here!!!!!!!!! Moderating or AF, whichever the case...but doing GOOD at it!!! That is the key. Some stories lately have made me smile.

[Niblet]

30 days???

Luv Hon, I'm soo sorry to hear the sad news... thinking of you...
I'll be away for a couple days, doing great, love you all, ~Niblet~

[I Like Brandy]

30 days???

Everybody;

Is doing so well with abs, I just wanted to say congrats to everyone, it's not easy.

Day 7 abs...and going strong

:h Brandy

[hereatlast]

30 days???

hi everyone my thoughts are with you and your family luv.
well i am sooo tired my son had an asthma attack last night which lasted on and off from 11.30 to 5.am this morning. needless to say he's fine now and i am on my knees all i can say is the last 2 times this has happened i have been a.f thank god
big day tomorrow WORK eek i feel like i am starting school i will keep you informed

[Guest]

30 days???

Oh here, I feel for you, my son has asthma too...used to be worse than it is now though. when he was a baby he was hospitalized twiced. It was terrible, I rememeber the sleepless nights and the worry!!!! Glad you were AF...way to go!

[louise]

30 days???

Luvuall, you are right, if you are not using any of what is going on as a reason to drink you way stronger than the bottle. I hope the clinical trial helps. Tough's book suggestion reminded me of something I was reading in a book called Kitchen Table Wisdom about a farmer who was told he had cancer and only had x months to live. Years later they followed up and asked him to explain. He said he respected the doctors, but sometimes when the soil specialists told him corn would not grow in one of his fields, the corn grew anyway and he figured the drs were like the soil specialists and might be wrong. Life is just inexplicable sometimes. Since some stories make you smile Luv, here is mine. I was sitting on the porch last night before bed, not thinking about a drink at all, when my mind says loudly, "I don't really think I have a drinking problem at all" Alarm bells start ringing and my next thought is of those plastic bats for little kids and how one would be handy to conk myself on the head if needed. I've been kind of posting all over but do try to at least read this one daily. Sorry if I don't always say hi or acknowledge you all but I am cheering for you. I haven't been as good as my goals but wayyyyyyyyy better than a month ago and only 1 slight hangover so I'm feeling good. Hope everyone has a good weekend. Happy Fathers Day to all Dads.

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

hello you all. oh luv my heart is just a big ol puddle of splat listening to your posts. i am sending you a whole lotta love. tit i really appreciate the call out to morrison too. i think he went on a vacation though. louise it certainly is nice to hear your voice here. nibs have a great time and write when you get back. hereto, i'm proud of you. wow, brandy 7 whole days? you are quite the character. a big wahooo rally on that one. right on. we do love our little ol bear too. he is always so thoughtful to make sure no one gets missed around this little ranch. nice isn't it? Weather is good, people are friendly, the cabins are comfy? it's a nice little place. and hello to all the blondes on the board today.

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

last nite has got to go down in the books as one of my worst nites ever. and i didn't even plan it that way. louise i'd like that bat please. there i was all day out and about working away. doing what i do. walking up and down downtown l.a. saying hello to everyone in the sales offices. talking to clients and then having dinner and socializing and then bam. i decide to have a drink which was fine a i stopped at 2 no problem and proceeded through the evening and came home. but then hubby and i had this huge fight. and what did i do? yep went out and bought a bottle of wine. so fricking predictable i could have won money on that bet. yep, and i drank the entire bottle. and hubby and i talked all nite about what a drunk i am and how predictable it is. when are my meds going to kick in fully? when am i going to get it together? what's wrong with me? blah blah. god almighty. there are the days when i just completely feel like a failure and i couldn't really do much about it. it is so odd. like if i really want to be alone i don't need to drink. i could just shut the door to my office and have tea. it is so odd that to be alone i choose that. i read posts from peeps that say they are lonely and they drink. funny but i find my drinking pattern is a way to tune the whole world out. like a way to escape. last nite though it really broke my heart. hubby was like you know when i met you, and for a good part of our relationship you didn't drink and he's right. i hadn't touched the stuff for 10 years and then one day i decided i wanted a drink again. and that was i don't know 6 years ago? i said yep babe you are right and i was miserable and sober and in AA. i won't go back to AA as it ripped out my soul and gave me shame to replace it. i'd rather be drinking. so thanks for listening to my pathetic self pity today. i have to sort this little baby out and do alot of praying. i am rereading TIT's information about that old gal as i don't want that to be me. and i know i have some opportunities to be much more useful in my life then drunk bootsie. so i'm at day one today everybody. and i'm feeling very sad. when i'm not sad i shall tell you about cattle ranch. now that was some kind of fun. for now off to the doctor to see if i can ever swing a golf club again.

[karbihere]

30 days???

i used to think that when you got to a certain point in sobriety 30,60,90, etc, that this magic wand comes out and makes everything go away. WRONG all im looking for is a daily reprive from king booze and to not drink one day at a time and sometimes it has been a minute to minute and hour to hour thing

[hereatlast]

30 days???

hey bootsie thinking of you, not a lot anyone can say without sounding sickly but i understand i dont think many people other than on here can understand what its like.
i've just said to my hubby god i feel like a drink and he says all sanctamoniously well just have one before you go to bed to which i replied i wont want one then cos i'll have got past it, he says (sipping his beer mind you) there you go then !!!!!

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

you ever feel so sad hereto that as you type you are crying and then you just cry all over your stupid key board? and here's the best part you have just applied make up so you can go out and conquer the world. frick. and i don't even know today why i'm crying. cuz trust me one bottle at this point in my life which is way tragic doesn't even give me a hangover. now, that's pathetic but it isn't why i'm crying. hummmm i think it is this overwhelming sadness and feeling like wow, i just feel fricking helpless like i told hubby last nite. there is no way you no what it is like to be a pathetic addict and i'm truly sorry for causing you the non addict all this pain as i have no idea what it is like to be the non addict in the relationship. i mean we just stared at each other. okay, time to drive to dr. the summer air should do me good you think? yes, that should freshen me up. thanks here for getting it. god help me please

[MDBiker]

30 days???

Yes Rambo, I know exactly how you feel. I am medicated and I still was so depressed last night I just sat and cried. I felt overwhelmed. I think that now since I am sober, I am having to deal with things I was drinking to get away from. It must be the moon or something since we all feeling pressure. Barbs, whatever you do, take care of yourself. You want it and as long as you don’t quit, you are working toward the goal you have set for yourself.

Hereatlast, be proud you were able to abstain. You are not helpless, you are the decision maker for you. You probably already do it, but if not, L-glute under the tongue is a life saver for me.

Kar, I think it does get easier, but I also think some of us have an aversion to alcohol. One drink and I am drunk for years. It sucks because I have always liked drinking but it is not to be for me. From now own, I have Fresca with a twist of lime. It taste good and looks good too. And no hangover.