30 days???
hello all. i am posting in waves as well as i'm working and then trying not to work. lol working and then trying not to work. today i have the significant blues. and by the way alcohol free and significant blues. where ever are the happy pills? tis funny there are just those days where it all seems utterly hopeless and i don't mean that in a oh pitty barbie way. but i mean hummm how do i explain it. doesn't make me want to drink either. hummm just like it is the same feeling i get as if i had drank the nite before only i haven't. utterly odd. i feel all that same stuff. but i really didn't drink last nite. lol nope i kicked butt on the bootcamp. and i know i kicked butt because i do indeed have a huge bruise on said butt from doing these crunches on the football field that you have lay on oneside of butt. ouch. like after 100 of them on each side you just feel like dieing. anyway, today trying desperately not to have panic attacks. just moving through breathing, pranic, oils and reiki, phew.
now i like nibs idea of the boatride. i'd prefer a big ol paddle boat myself. and well, we can have lemonaide. then the potted plants would be very nice. from time to time i'd like to dock it. and then perhaps if there were horses around. well i'd like to challange myself to a ride. then back on the paddler and down the river like huck fin. and i could actually sit and read for awhile. nice nice. that feels very calming.
i'm so very sorry luv about your mama. my father when in chemo/radiation went through so much emotion. it was just heart wrenching for me. so i just had to take it a moment at a time with him. and i know that deep inside what was there was just plain fright and him contemplating things that i hadn't yet contemplated for myself.
i have a hunch about hear and i'm really praying that hunch is incorrect. so just saying a few love and prayers that way. and love that morrison is back. i have my ol mayor morrison thread going on texas's thread MORRISON. i'm going to keep that thread going as it makes me feel very warm and fuzzy. probably makes morrison as uncomfortable as hell but i rather like that thread. and so there you go. MM too bad. the thread lives on. lol so today i'm going to find some more lavendar and sniff it. and i'm going to make my sales calls and just feel this really weird dread, uck, hopeless, something awful is about to happen to me feeling move through. and well breathe into a bag and throw up if i have to but i shall not be drinking in vino today.
that is for sure. perhaps it is all of this gray. i shall promptly make that hair appt and get the dye job accomplished for the weekend. surely that will settle things up. sending out lots of love to you all. the bootster. and yes, you can just allow me to do your exercise for you. my hubby says another two weeks and i shall be back to ol lean barbie self again. as i had to take that time off for surgery. it is like starting all over again from scratch and that is very very frustrating to have most of the class save 3 people pass me up on the track. my saving grace is i outdo them on everything else and i'm twice their age. hahahahaahahahhah i don't even want to get on that scale. i had lost all that weight like 40 lbs. me thinks me might have packed some lbs on. oopsy
hello all. i am posting in waves as well as i'm working and then trying not to work. lol working and then trying not to work. today i have the significant blues. and by the way alcohol free and significant blues. where ever are the happy pills? tis funny there are just those days where it all seems utterly hopeless and i don't mean that in a oh pitty barbie way. but i mean hummm how do i explain it. doesn't make me want to drink either. hummm just like it is the same feeling i get as if i had drank the nite before only i haven't. utterly odd. i feel all that same stuff. but i really didn't drink last nite. lol nope i kicked butt on the bootcamp. and i know i kicked butt because i do indeed have a huge bruise on said butt from doing these crunches on the football field that you have lay on oneside of butt. ouch. like after 100 of them on each side you just feel like dieing. anyway, today trying desperately not to have panic attacks. just moving through breathing, pranic, oils and reiki, phew.
now i like nibs idea of the boatride. i'd prefer a big ol paddle boat myself. and well, we can have lemonaide. then the potted plants would be very nice. from time to time i'd like to dock it. and then perhaps if there were horses around. well i'd like to challange myself to a ride. then back on the paddler and down the river like huck fin. and i could actually sit and read for awhile. nice nice. that feels very calming.
i'm so very sorry luv about your mama. my father when in chemo/radiation went through so much emotion. it was just heart wrenching for me. so i just had to take it a moment at a time with him. and i know that deep inside what was there was just plain fright and him contemplating things that i hadn't yet contemplated for myself.
i have a hunch about hear and i'm really praying that hunch is incorrect. so just saying a few love and prayers that way. and love that morrison is back. i have my ol mayor morrison thread going on texas's thread MORRISON. i'm going to keep that thread going as it makes me feel very warm and fuzzy. probably makes morrison as uncomfortable as hell but i rather like that thread. and so there you go. MM too bad. the thread lives on. lol so today i'm going to find some more lavendar and sniff it. and i'm going to make my sales calls and just feel this really weird dread, uck, hopeless, something awful is about to happen to me feeling move through. and well breathe into a bag and throw up if i have to but i shall not be drinking in vino today.
that is for sure. perhaps it is all of this gray. i shall promptly make that hair appt and get the dye job accomplished for the weekend. surely that will settle things up. sending out lots of love to you all. the bootster. and yes, you can just allow me to do your exercise for you. my hubby says another two weeks and i shall be back to ol lean barbie self again. as i had to take that time off for surgery. it is like starting all over again from scratch and that is very very frustrating to have most of the class save 3 people pass me up on the track. my saving grace is i outdo them on everything else and i'm twice their age. hahahahaahahahhah i don't even want to get on that scale. i had lost all that weight like 40 lbs. me thinks me might have packed some lbs on. oopsy
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