30 days???

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

A big bear hug to ol bear. 60 days. so good to have that magic marker. Ah am way proud of you papa bear. And i so hear you luv with painting that picture that is so horrid one can simply not go back to that old pattern. i know that night of hubby and i fighting. that is what comes up when i want to take a drink. has kept me sober since. so day 5 and have challanged myself to a little game of 5 weeks of bootcamp so 5 more weeks of sobriety. bootcamp started yesterday. i made it through the first session and i didn't throw up. i was also i might say being the oldest in the class, not the last one on the field either for a change. that actually felt good. my prayers are with more 2. am awfully proud of you here. nice to see who all checks in with their best wishes as well. so here's to boots challange for herself and am surrendering will power out and given it over to god and to the meds. and will take stronger doses of topa at nite to help me sleep better. nice idea there luv. nibs i'm really praying for that mare to make it. if not, i'd like to hear about a new mare waiting for you in the stall. well, off to hike the doggies in the mountains. they are sleeping as it is still early out and foggy. time for them to see the horizon.

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

and cindi sorry forgot to include you. and bear wanted to say something too about what you had posted. i am giving up the struggle thing bear. so thanks for posting that. cindi i am praying for you and sending you lots of love. bear, this surrender part is about me not struggling so much. for you are right, the more i struggle, the more i want to drink. so i am focusing on everything else, the what i want in my life. not what i don't want in my life. i'm going to add mass to that as much as possible. and the no cravings part is helping me focus on that. so writing this a.m. all that i want in my life. like sujal had said. writing out that were will i be a year from now as a sober boot. happy tuesday ya all

[MDBiker]

30 days???

Good morning everyone. I wrote a big long post and I guess I didn't post it. Maybe it was not what I should have said. I was not feeling well all day yesterday. I am better today and back at work. I will check in later
bear

[MDBiker]

30 days???

I screwed up that last post, sorry.

Good for you bootsy. Five weeks is a long time, but each week will give you strength to hold on to the next. And it gets easier as time passes. I don't think about booze all the time now. I pass liquor stores and don't feel the need to stop in. I realized if all I thought about was not drinking, drinking was always on my mind. Does that make any sense? Moving your focus to something else and enjoying the benefits of your abstinance will give you pleasure not internal frustration. And your turning it over to God. I think that is a good plan.

Goid Bless
bear

[Guest]

30 days???

I re-focused my energy to gardening...my little boy is so funny...for awhile flowers were coming in daily...I mean several boxes daily...he would say "Mama how many flowers are you gonna buy" (imagine this with a southern draw) I said " Look Zak, it is the flowers or wine" , Zak said " OK....you can buy all the flowers you want Mama".....MAMA said "I thought so".....we laughed!!!!!! I tell my friends I am gonna be on the dang cover of Better Homes and Gardens I am in the yard so much. My next BIG project is going to be a Koi fish pond...i iwll wait until fall now, it is to hot! It is going to be a big one!!!! LOL

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Not perfect here either!

Lordy mercy More2, lol....we must be rubbing off on each other! I was going to go AF this weekend, went to Hot Springs for the weekend with the Mormon clan....lol......I'd moderated really well, and THOUGHT I was ready to go AF again....had one wine only Friday, 2 Sat., one was lunch, one was dinner...no more....then the 2yr old was soooo awful, and only because Chuck's daughter and hubby don't make her do a thing she doesn't want to...just a total nightmare, and up as late as the adults trying to watch a movie, just whining, crying, flopping, screaming....you get the idea....lol.....anyway, we got to the Olive Garden 4.5 hrs. after leaving, and said nerves were shot....I'd forgotten to pack the topa and supps, really really SMART...and More2, I can't get past 25mg. of the real stuff, headache deluxe and eyes hurt around the sockets, and it IS the topa that is making me sneeze and snot and just have a big ol allergy attack....I quit it for 2 dys to test the theory, and nada on the sneezing and all the other....anyway, I had 2 glasses of wine at the restaurant, and polished off a bottle when I got home.....haven't done that except twice since I got on this site...OMG...felt like warmed over dog dung yesterday...I just fell over in the pool headfirst trying to shrink the headache, and think of something to eat that would go down easy! YUCK.....YUCK!!!! Anyway, I know now I just can't do this rollercoaster, it hurts too bad! I haven't gotten into the CD's yet, so that is my goal this week..and upping the L-glut, and amino's and evening primrose...also, called my friend that has a masters degree in Chinese medicine and acunpuncture, so I'm going to tell her whats going on, and let her try anything she may have in her bag of tricks...I'm going to just stay on the topa 25mg, and take it in the evening, I can do that much without major flu-like symptoms...lol...and I've been experimenting with it for about 5 weeks now, so that's my limit I'm afraid...I'll let ya'll know if the oriental medicine has any other herbs to offer or how the acupunture goes... I'm so disgusted about how I felt yesterday, that I'm determined to do this, somehow, someway...I know leaving my meds/supps and the stress of a "tense family reunion" is just an excuse, reason, trigger, and I'll be ever more on guard next time....Its like Bear has said...."laid an egg! better walk around it and see why, look at it, and learn"!!! Anyway, I didn't do any major damage except to my physical and emotional self, my hubby too likes me way more when I'm on top of this tho... So, I have to do it again, for all concerned, myself mostly!!!! Ok, whew.....here we go....."I think I can, I know I can....".....lol...... Oh, and if you decide to check-in a rehab SPA More2, call me, I'll come with!!!! I won't leave without my computer again either, haven't gone over the edge unless I haven't been able to "chat" with you all...couldn't do it without you all!

[toughintexas]

30 days???

BEAR AWESOME!

YOU ARE MY HERO!!!! YOU and LUV, and EVERYONE else that has "graduated', while I'm still here in kindergarten! I'm afraid I'm going to be held back for the fall semester!!!!....lol.....But, I haven't been like I was before, since I got here, so that's improvement to me, I've learned alot, and know its "not just me" and that "oppsies" occur during the process...good thing it hurts more each time, may just finally teach us something! I think I started this process at about the biggest time of stress in a long time, so I most likely made it harder....oh well....I'm going to keep charging ahead! Bootsie, and Nib, and all newbies, HI!!! Bootsie, I'm waiting on my novel....20k acres and a Dry Hole....geeeezzzz....Nib, keep me up to date on the horsey shopping...remember if you get one, I have all the meds/supps, etc for horses too, right down to the wormer! lol I love you all, and I know by being here, I'll be alright! You are all in my prayers! Add me in yours too.....

[Guest]

30 days???

Oh my Texas friend...me and Bear have both rode the horse, fell off and been trampled..OK...not sure what happened this time accept the sheer grace of God grabbed us by the nap of our necks before we were thrown in the rattle snake pits. SERIOUSLY! Told Mama I will be drinking bottled water the rest of my life as punishment for all my sins. I single handedly am keeping the Dasani bottled water company afloat. BUY STOCK! LOL....
I see cingular is coming out with a new cell phone called iphone...I want one! I would never have to leave home without you all. I am not kidding. Comes out June 29th...I will own it! I can not walk around with a laptop...but this phone...I like...had a treo before...but I like this one better!!!!! It does it ALL!!!! I told my teenager...I NEED IT (used her words!!! HE HE)

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Well, I guess I'm following in great footsteps at least!!! Thank goodness I didn't get completely stomped and trodden upon this time, but it doesn't excuse overdoing it! I've made big progress since getting here, so I'm going to keep that in mind, instead of doing the "beating myself up totally" routine! That phone sounds AWESOME..thats a biggie for me, being where I can't "talk' to ya'll....lol...
BEAR...Love your avatar...is that your baby picture?....lol....I just imagine you looking just like that today even!!!! lol
Luv, your words always support and comfort me! Thanks! I'll try hard to graduate kindergarden soon! ha!

[MDBiker]

30 days???

I think My avatar is spanky from spanky and our gang.

You just keep working on it tex, you will make it.

Luv, I thought I was keepig Dasani in business. I think it is the best bottled water.

I have go to the store now, I will dheck back this evening
:l
bear

[Guest]

30 days???

I don't picture Bear looking anything like his avatar...did you all see the movie MASK with Cher? Her boyfirend in the movie name was GAR...played by actor Sam Elliot....nice looking man...Harley type guy...salt and pepper hair with a pony tail, tall, and slender..this is how I picture Bear....am I right Bear? You are laughing at us now aren't you? I don't know why...you know how you just have to have some kind of picture in your head when you think of someone. HA HA HA

[Guest]

30 days???

OH and Bear, I bought Deer Park one time recently and my children thought they would die...just die. Niether of them would drink it. I told them they were "WATER SNOBS"...LOL

[hereatlast]

30 days???

just got back from work i must admit i am glad to be back i feel as if i have never been away. day 8 af this time round, and i feel so much better for it

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

yeah yeah yeah. i'm on day 6 today and feeling groovy. i am a working away girl though. so must jump in shower and scoot scoot down the road and downtown. hope you all have a great day. tex you are doing just fine. and i picture bear as a big ol lumber jack. hahahahahahaaha

[Guest]

30 days???

BEAR...put us out of our misery...we can't take the suspense....now we HAVE to know! LOL

Sounds like everyone is doing great! AF days adding up...way to go and exercising too...dang...

Where the heck is Niblet?