30 days???

[lucky 2.0]

30 days???

LUV,

You are such a valued member of this site. I am so sorry to hear the news above but I hope knowing so many are here to support you in any way we can can help lighten the load just a bit.

Much love and many prayers,
lucky

[MDBiker]

30 days???

Morrison, I know how you feel. Since I have sobered up, I have been trying to understand why I was drinking so much. It is insane to do what I was doing without a reason. What I have come to believe is the truth is that I was fearful. Looking at me you would not think I was the fearful type; but our mind is an amazing organ and it will respond to whatever we put into it. Being drunk all the time made it hard for me to keep up with all the things I was supposed to do, and I was always afraid I had forgotten something and it was kind of buried inside my head that I was screwing up all the time. I really felt like I was under attack all the time. I worried about loosing my job, even though mama bear and I had already figured out a way to live without me having to work under all the stress. (She thought it was killing me and a reason to drink; and it was) I worried about the water bill I hadn?t paid on time. I worried about my credit score. I worried about my Wife, mother, children and grand children. I worried about my autos and bikes. I worried about everything, and therefore I tried to control all the elements which I believed were on the ?edge of ruin?. I really had to be a little insane to think I could do that, but I did it for YEARS. It was killing me without a doubt.

Now, here is the secret behind my ability to not drink: I fell apart at work. Nervous breakdown? That scared me enough to get help. I didn?t think I would make it till the first appointment with the psychiatrist. I tried to speed up the help by trying to make an appointment any way I could. That wasn?t God?s plan. He had chosen the right guy to help me the way I needed. He started me on medication that helped me to not be so fearful. I started going to meetings where I helped others as often as I was helped. I decided to turn my whole life over to God and ?endure? the consequences of what he would do in my life. First thing I realized is that I can not control anyone but myself, and at times I can?t even do that. When I let go, it felt like a mountain was removed from my back; and amazingly, everything is working out fine. Much better than my way, and I was finally at peace. No matter what happens I will be fine, because I am sober, and I know with God in charge I have no worries. It isn?t easy for me to do this. Every day I pray for Guidance and strength to accept his will. I certainly am not perfect in my effort to do this, but it has given me peace in my life. WOW I had forgotten what it felt like to be free. Truly free is a wonderful way to live, and I am getting better every day.

Morrison peace and freedom is there for you; but finding a good shrink and diligently taking the meds is the foundation to build on. I wish you well brother.


God Bless

:huggy

Bear

[MDBiker]

30 days???

Luv, like lucky said, you are very important to us; all of us. We are here for you and you can get to me anytime you want. Just call and we will talk. needing Hospice is hard to accept, but it is a wonderful service for you and your mother. I have been and will continue to pray for you and your family

luv you all

bear

[Guest]

30 days???

I have forgotten to share with you all that I have been steadily coming off of Topa. By the end of August I will be completely off of it and it is going great. I am down to 25 mg per day now. I feel good...I did not want to be on it forever so my goal was to not take it longer than 6 months and I will reach that goal. Barely, but I am reaching it. I have some put up in case I notice I need it, so I can start back up right away, but so far so good....

[MDBiker]

30 days???

Thats great Luv. When quitting with assistance, it is hard to know what is going to happen if/when you get off of the drugs. If you need us we are here. I was able to get off of the campral last month, and I have not had any problems. That is taking 6 pills a day out of my list, and I want to whittle that down as much as possible.

luv ya

bear

[Niblet]

30 days???

Good morning everybody,
More2 I really like the idea you had about making up letters to help Morrison... Great idea !
Luv, I think about you all the time and wish that your Mama could find pain relief.. Maybe the Dr. will give her something better tomorrow ? I'm praying for you and yours...
During the night we had a thunderstorm move through and today it is sooo windy !!! My clothes will take no time atall to dry out on the line...
Guys I had the saddest thing happen this morning while on my way back from the barn.. There on the lawn was a big ol toad that was half smooshed (our son had his friend over the day before with a mini-bike and likely ran it over.) This poor toad had half of his guts ripped out, a leg tore off, and you could see his insides ... and.... he blinked at me... I was almost in tears as I stomped his head to put him out of his misery.. I'm still so upset that he suffered for Lord knows how long like that... I can only pray that cold blooded animals don't feel pain as badly as us... Poor lil' guy didn't need to suffer like that...
I do feel better sharing this with you all though... Take care everybody, gotta go, Hugs,

[Guest]

30 days???

Niblet that is sad if he suffered but you made me laugh. I was like "ol, poor frog" Then you said..."I stomped his head"....it just struck me so funny the way you said it.

The doctor changed all Mama's pain meds today. I am very upset with him though. he came in the room and told her her scan looked good...when in reality it doesn't look good it looks worse. So she thinks she is getting better. I understand what he is doing....he is giving her a will to live. BUT BUT BUT...she gets in the car and tells Zak "Mema is getting better"...NO SHE ISN'T. My poor little boy thinks now that his Mema is getting better and I have to explain to him she is not. That the doctor just tells her that to make her days here happy. He does not need to be in SHOCK again. I totally get what the doctor did with mama...he is ONLY concerned with Mama...BUT, I have ALL my family to worry about and my children are still healing from our loss last year. The new meds are hopefully going to work...he will see her tomorrow to make sure.

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Hey guys!!! I'm back!!!! Missed you all sooooo much, except More2 of course! It was so funny, she was down in the lobby of the hotel waiting on me Sat. am, and I was just getting out of bed....we had a COME AS YOU ARE PARTY....thank goodness she hadn't dressed all up and put on make-up either, whew....lol....I knew it was her as soon as I got off the elevator....she's cute, cute guys...and so much fun, and ya know, from the first hug, it felt like we'd known each other for years, I'm serious! We got the guys together with us at their awesome condo Sat. night...its really cool, with amazing views! Her hubby COOKS....OMG....lol....he is really handsome, and her son is a doll, and her Sis and her hubby were just great too...it really was like we'd all been together lots of times before! We ate outside barefooted with hummingbirds dive bombing me and More2....and she's right, its a good thing we weren't together "back in the day" of total winelocking, we'd have been too hard to handle!!!! For everyone! Ok, I'll never catch up, but Bear, soooo glad the shots are giving you relief, I can HEAR joy in your voice, coming right out of your heart...and I feel exactly the sameway...we AREN'T in the drivers seat, God is, so we may as well TAKE OUR HANDS OFF THE WHEEL....lol....I know when we throw up our hands, get down on our knees, and scream from the bottom of the pit as Beth Moores book says, and we scream and cry....help me, I can't do this by myself...God goes....WHEW...finally, now I can handle this! You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free...we have that peace when we ask for it, we have that strength from up above....I love that verse, "I just let Christ take over, so the weaker I get, the stronger I become!".... Papa Bear, you and LUV are such blessings to soooo many of us, we need to THANK YOU both, tons!!! I agree, without this site, I'd be lost again! LUV, I'm so sorry about your Mama, I just don't have words to say, except, you do have to take care of you, this is such a hard time, and so stressful, and just draining I know...hang in there, we need you lots! Nibs, funny story girl, did you get your package we sent before we left, hope so!! Morrison, I've felt that yucky 'ol apathy too...I think its just feeling a bit defeated, but I think if you'll read Bears post, you'll maybe find something to help you in there, and I'd be happy to write a letter for you also, no problem, you just do something to get your mind off your own troubles...once, I went in one day, to a homeless shelter and served meals, and to a soup kitchen...there's so many that are so much worse off, and lonely too, it made me feel better to just talk to them, give them a hug, and realize, IT CAN BE WORSE...makes you get your mind off your own troubles, ya know? I have you on my prayer list too. I guess Bootsie will holler when she gets back, I know she's having fun....I may have to go to Seattle and go walking with More2, I'm going to start missing my sister in crime!!!! Love you all, glad the FAMILY is all mostly accounted for...ya'll lemme know if I missed any good stuff! Love you all tons.....TIT

[Niblet]

30 days???

Welcome Home Hon ! Good to hear that you had a really great time along with More2 and her family.
Luv, I just don't know what to say.... That Doctor has just made your life more complicated now than ever ! You of all people do not need anymore complication in your lifetime. If the dear Lord is testing you, then surely you are an angel among us. He just wants to make certain that you can keep those beautiful golden wings you hide under your shirt.
LOL "Poor ol toad" I guess that did kinda sound funny... Now I laugh too... tee !! heee!!
Bear... I keep meaning to ask you ? When you accidently called me Niv and then laughed.. what did that mean ? I have been rolling that around now for a few days and can't figure that one out.
I'll be deserting you all again tomorrow... Hubby and I will be going to fill the woodshed at camp and hauling loads of sand for our beach. I'll be either very tired or very sore by Sunday. I'm just going to bring in the "kids" and then work on a doilie I'm crochetting. Have a great night all, Hugs,

[MDBiker]

30 days???

Hello all, I just wanted to check in while I have a minute. It is good to see everyone up and att'em. I am still doing great and I am still so damn busy I can't seem to get enough time to sleep.

Luv you all

:huggy

Bear

[magic]

30 days???

xxxxx

m. xx

[Niblet]

30 days???

I'm on the fly all but wanted to give you all a hug before heading to the city, then to camp... Have a wonderful weekend, Love you guys, Hugs,

[Guest]

30 days???

Have fun Niblet, someday I am coming to see you...I MEAN IT! I have to see this campsite. It sounds great and like you guys have such a blast. HAVE FUN...

[MDBiker]

30 days???

HI all. Good to hear from you magic.I am doing fine, just a little bit tired. I hope all of you had a great Friday and are getting ready for a wonderful weekend. I was glad to see the stock market coming back up a little, it was depressing. I will check back inm tomorrow.

luv you all
bear

[Guest]

30 days???

I took out another BIG life insurance policy yesterday...my children are set if I kill over...GOD FORBID. But, it does weigh on my mind. They have a good Daddy for the most part, but he is CHEAP!!!! Now brit, she has become accustom to certain things in life, so I have ensured if I die my babies are financially stable. I now have 500,000.00 in policies.....You can cash them in at age 65 so it is a win win situation.