30 days???

[MDBiker]

30 days???

I am going home for the day, I will try to check back in tonight
:h
bear

[Cinders]

30 days???

My dearest family,

I ordered Baclofen and hope it will help.

However, if it does not help, I wll still work on being AF. A dry drunk is so much better than a wet drunk.

All of you help me every single day.

You are my best friends.

Love,
Cindi

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Cindi, if you want me to send you some Lithium Orotate, let me know, I sent Bootsie hers, and Bear too...I'll be happy to send you some if you'd like...it really helps! The Rescue Remedy and GABA, you can grab at a health food store, they may even have the LO too...it can't hurt....and its not much investment either! Love you all....Bear, you are always our trusted leader... Everyone here is incredible in my book!

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

ah amen to that. we are perfect in our very very imperfect ways. we can hold our own mwo meetings. here's my next poem for the day
SOLITUDE
What Peace
What reflection
What a moment to ponder
Each breath in
Each breath out
A moment to be
A moment to feel
Silence, Freedom, Being with God
so perhaps you don't feel it but if you be with it you can come to feel it. and in that feeling you can remember it. sometimes it feels as if there is no hope for any and all or perhaps it just feels like maybe it is beyond us. but knowing that you count in some way. maybe that is the first plac to ponder. okay back to work i go.

[bird]

30 days???

Hi all,
Morrison and Cindi I am having a time of it too. I have a week sober but the last couple days were tough. Lucky I am broke but was thinking of selling cans, pawn shop or anything to get some beer. I made it though on l glut only. I have also thought about antibuse. Just kind of hobbling along and trying to stay busy through the rough times and alot of praying. I am very irritable but trying not to show it. God help us. I'm sure we will quit one way or the other...love,bird....nibs I sent you an email

[Guest]

30 days???

Cindi,
You are right a dry drunk is better than a wet drunk, but I so want to see you a sobber happy person!!!!! It is out there! I tried AF so many times and failed...and failed ...and failed. It is HARD as hell white knuckling. The LO will help that TIT has. Try it! It really helps with cravings. The cravings SUCK! I love you!!!!

I am gonna tell you all a story about a very dear friend of mine...we were very close friends...like sisters...did EVERYTHING together....she got addicted to painkillers. Then started taking her kids adderall...she would take her child to a psychiatrist and tell him her daughter had ADD when in fact she DIDN'T ...to get the Adderall and would take it herself...would take the adderall to speed up and the painkillers to slow down. GOT REAL BAD. She lost like 50 lbs...started acting REAL weird, isolated herself from all her friends, started selling all her stuff...painkillers aren't cheap when you are buying them on the streets, apparently...some can be 80.00 for 1 little pill...OMG....anyway, I finally go over and get her and tell her HEY...like you are dying, WTF???? The state program to get someone off painkillers is to put them on methadone. She acted just as crazy on that shit as she did the other stuff. My point to this story is to get your daily dose of methadone you have to gone to a clinic each day and she HATED to go because she felt she was better than the other people there, that they were all druggies and low life people. I saw the other people one day...I looked around...they all looked JUST LIKE HER!!! What she didn't realize was she was just like them. She wasn't the person she used to be, she had become the person that talked to herself, scratched herself inappropriately, picked at her feet, rocked back and forth, jerked oddly, laughed for no reason, etc., etc.....she needed HELP just like they did. I started to cry because I had heard her say for weeks how beneath her these people were. It made me realize that my own problem was like that too. No matter what walk of life we come from we all have the same problem, no matter how much money we have, no matter how pretty we are, we are still just people trying to live sobber!!!! I am so overwhelmed at times that we have this group. I could NEVER have made 6 months without getting drunk once without you.

[Cinders]

30 days???

TIT,

I am going to my "health food store" in the am. It is not a big one and last time I was there and buying all the stuff they were looking at me like I was a freak. LOL,

I think it was the Kudzu and L-Glutamate. I guess they "got it," what I was trying to treat. However, I don't care. I will go back.

If I can't get the LO, TIT, I will let you know

God Bless you all.

I am miserable and at the end of my rope.

I will do whatever it takes. I have a beautiful daughter getting married in the winter, family coming in for Christmas, and grandkids around me all the time. I MUST GET SOBER!! or give up. Giving up would be a really bad thing.

I love all of you and know that you all love all of us. How awesome is that???

Take care,
Cindi

[Accountable for Me]

30 days???

Cindi didn't you quit smoking as well recently? When Starlight announced she was? I hope you aren't battling them both! One thing at a time I say.

Be strong, you can do this. Live on your computer if you have to - I did when I could in the beginning. Some days I still do. It will get easier! You have a lot of motivation behind you. You can do this!!!

[Guest]

30 days???

This is the ABSOLUTE BEST time of the year. I am so excited that this year I am going to actually enjoy it. Last year was SO sad...and DRUNK! It was our first season without Billy...no need to say more. But this year, I LOVE OCT-DEC...have all the Halloween decorations out already...Thanksgiving will come out Nov. 1st, then Christmas.

NEVER GIVE UP....EVER...

[Guest]

30 days???

Cindi, that is a goood idea....my first 30 days...I LIVED on this site!

[Cinders]

30 days???

AFM,

Alas, I lost on the "not smoking thing," sigh.

I decided I had to stay sober first and foremost. The smoking addiction was kicking me in the a@@!! I decided one thing at a time.

However, the one thing, not drinking, is really hard. I sooo want to drink myself into blackout every day. what the heck is that???

At least I recognize it is not an acceptable way of being.

Thank you for your thoughts, yes, one thing at a time...


Cindi

[bootcampbarbie]

30 days???

cindi i can always send you one of my famous lipsticks that should take your mind off of everything. why with 4 speeds you won't even remember to cook up dinner. you might want to smoke more but who cares. dawn a dinner jacket and act like gretta garbo. lmao

[Accountable for Me]

30 days???

Ok, I am totally dumb! I JUST clued in to what your 'lipsticks' were there bootsie. LMAO! Do you have it in a 5 speed? I prefer my lipstick in fifth-gear ;-)

[Cinders]

30 days???

Okay, Greta here,

We are a recluse, especially on the road.

However, I need a 5-speed manual shift, Bootsie!!

LOL :-)

Thank You for making me laugh, I really needed it tonight.

Cindi

[Guest]

30 days???

OH More2....my little guy likes all those foods too! But, he still likes them now...HA HA I am so sad! Can't we freeze them while they are little and cute before they start bringing little floozies home...HA HA Zak says he has a GIRLFRIEND...WTF! I SAID "WHAT"...he laughed....he said she doesn't know she is his girlfriend..HA HA HA. (she won't be any trouble...LOL)