30 days???

[cowgal]

30 days???

DON'T!!!!

You don't want to do it again, please let us know you are ok, will check in and try to call you today.................work is a bitch though, work 6:30-6 today, wondering if my body will handle this much longer............................Nibs how do you do it??

Seriously, LUV, I am starting again day 4 today and just feeling 1/2 way normal, remember how you felt last time you drank??? Remember that, hopefully it stops you.........................:h:h

We really care, gotta go hit the road for a WONDERFUL day~

XOXOX:l:h
MA

[brittzak]

30 days???

I am NOT drinking MA.....cravings have just been bad some days...but sober here. About to get ready and head out to Aquatica. Hopefully it will be warm enough today. Stay safe and sober team!

[spedteach]

30 days???

Hello everybody,
Day 26 here. Feeling a little crazy. I have a relapse pattern of drinking on day 30 or day 60. It's just my innate personality bucking the system, like don't tell me 30 days is soooooo much better than 17 or 43. It's just a fight I have goin on in my head about 12 step programs. Blah, blah, I am sober and not hung over today; just get sick of counting time.
Warm and sunny here, but dry, dry ,dry. It's the desert. Still cold at night, 30's. Got cold stuff growing, lettuces, beets, snow peas, chard.
No calls to substitute teach today so plan to spend some time gardening, cooking, reading.
Sounds like a plan.
Love to everybody.

[irish eyes]

30 days???

[QUOTE=spedteach;588818]Hello everybody,
Day 26 here. Feeling a little crazy. I have a relapse pattern of drinking on day 30 or day 60. It's just my innate personality bucking the system, like don't tell me 30 days is soooooo much better than 17 or 43. It's just a fight I have goin on in my head about 12 step programs. Blah, blah, I am sober and not hung over today; just get sick of counting time.

Hi Spedteach
U are doing really well, I had to stop counting at 12 days it was doing my head in, nothing else their but another day will I drink. Once I stopped obsessing Igot on with my life and when a craving raised its ugly head 'drinking was not an option' (my self talk). Good Luck u seem to have alot to keep u busy. Obsessing not an option !:l

[cowgal]

30 days???

hey!

Sped and Irish......that seems to me my MO too, I get some time then think I can do without AA and some support, then I f@$k up and start over and then end up sick again.....I don't want to do that anymore.....

LUV, hope you are having a ball.....didn't have a SECOND to call you today......stay cool.

Everyone else I am sitting here on the gym parking lot ....gotta get moving

MA

[brittzak]

30 days???

Sped...STOP COUNTING. The counting drives me NUTS! some days would feel SO SMALL and then some SOME LONG....and if I did slip one day I would feel like such a complete failure to start over. SO...now I am sober today...I was yesterday. Tomorrow I make no promise but to try my best. I realize it is a mind game I play with myself, but it seems to work. I used to drink sun up til sun down. NOW...I am sober. Hva e had 2 slips in he past 9 months...They were not the doozies I used to have. I drink one day and stopped...went right back to trying. I think you never fail unless you give up.

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Well, I'll never catch up. The baby that was supposedly colicing, had a ruptured bladder from contractions in the birth canal. Was up all that night, had surgery on her at midnight, thank GOD the emergency surg. was a success, and she was up and nursing by 2:30am. Had to stay a week nearly, but came home yesterday. THEN, next champion mare foals, and retains her placenta for 12 hrs., had to take her to vet hosp. middle of the night, she comes home tomorrow. GEEEEZZZZZZZ, in 17.5 yrs., we've NEVER had this particular set of ailments, I think its the nutso weather! One mare overdue big time, world champ. stallion's dam, due Monday. Hubby's bday falls on Easter this year, and we have company coming in, so I'm about pooped out totally! Thank God and a Ford King Ranch truck, we are leaving for Colo. next Weds. for some much needed rest and fun! OK MORE2, I haven't had a chance to call you back, just got your message, not much cell service at farm or vets, so I've missed alot of calls. I promise to call you personally tomorrow, I'll be home cleaning all day!!!! Ok, I'm confessing too, no need to lie here. I was up so long, so much, and not home so much, staying at the farm, that I COMPLETELY forgot about my prozac, in fact, I've just had my days and nights mixed up. Not to mention both of us have been balling our eyes out, literally with worry over the babies and our mom's, and are exhausted. I started to feel weird, and really craving, and realized I'd forgotten and started to play catch up getting it back in my system. Meantime, TRUE TO FORM WITH MORE2 and I, hubby comes home with a case of wine and champagne that his son that lives 12 miles from the Napa Valley line in CA., sent him for his big birthday gathering. Well, on the prozac, like I'd told ya'll, no problem, felt "healed", and had really done good. We need to remember stress, grief, and being really tired, is a BAD THING! Anyway, needless to say, we were really excited when the mare foaled the baby that had surgery, then thought she'd die, in fact, vet said she wouldn't make it thru the night, so we started popping corks and drowning the sadness. (We should've waited, had faith, and found out she'd make it, could've saved ourselves sucking it down! lol ) That just started the "trend" so to speak, and my prozac still hadn't had time to build back up. Day before yesterday, I woke up, felt centered again, and just got down on my knees, AGAIN, and just begged God to please help me handle this. Now, I know this SOUNDS WEIRD, BUT, in the middle of the night, last night, not the night of the day I prayed so hard, I had a dream that was so vivid and real, the kind you fight really hard to wake up to touch or see someone kind.....I swear God told me this....."You are a precious child, your sins are very few, you are important to me in this world to touch and help and love others, and there is nothing wrong with you, I made the wine, you have just been using its benefits wrongfully, have Faith over your trials that I am taking care of them for you, take the medication I also help create to take care of the imbalance inside of you, I created you to be social, its serves a purpose I have for you, so remember, its only a sin if you do it in excess, a glass or two of my creation, is good, its a sin if you abuse the temple which is your body of Christ, go and forget the past, never have more than a very moderate amount, I will help you, and did help you do this, I blinked, and you fell, I'm here from your call to pick you up, you will be healed, and you will shine with a Glow by God". I SWEAR I CAN REPEAT IT OVER AND OVER AND ITS THE SAME! I woke up, hubby said I was talking in my sleep promising "I'll give you all the credit, I'll give you all the credit if you heal me".....he said I kept saying it. I look different today, I'm serious, I have a Glow by God! And trust me, I'm wayyyyyyy too tired and have been wayyyyyy to indulgent to look like this. I just know, that from now on, I'll have a glass or two, and anymore will be a sin like stealing, lying, cheating, killing, conveting, all that....I don't do any of those things, (ok, a lil white lie now and again lol )...but I never but it in that context, and I think that was His point. That and the fact that we feel such guilt, and that makes it worse, we obsess, He said, forget it. I know this is only for those of us moderating, and that are Christians, but I somehow promised to give Him the credit, so I am, and I hope it helps just one person, and maybe my glow will remain! I love you all tons, and I know this sounds like I switched from wine to pot or something, but it was tooooo real! I HAD to share, again I promised. I will let you know honestly if it was just a wishful dream, but I don't think so! More2, if it isn't, we'll go to the Betty together, promise! We'll just tell everyone we're in Colo! And, you are soooo right, buying a case, is a REALLY BAD idea! It may be cheaper, but the EXPENSE is way too high!
Man, you and I, and our hubby's are dang clones! Love you all!

[cowgal]

30 days???

hey guys!

Missed you More2 and TIT, the GOD thing sounds like a itty bitty miracle, huh?? Cool, TIT, happy for you feeling like that................thanks for sharing.:thanks:

That would be suicide for all that wine to be in my house when I was drinking, now I can have tons of it, and never touch it, but who wants to take the chance?? Not me! Guess your hub is right though, if it is going to be drank, may as well save some $$ !

I have the day off tomorrow, lunch w/ a friend , noon meeting,maybe meeting up w/ another friend, then up to Havana to ride w/ my buddy up there, cannot wait, as the weather is awesome now!!! Will watch Cloverfield right now then tuck in for the night, as I am going to take Zac to school at 7AM, so off, but an early day..........................oh and then my AA fun at 8 at night, then out for fellowship, eating etc...........................CAN'T WAIT!!!!

LUV hope you are enjoying yourself, Sped and Irish, keep up the good work as I am only day 5 (and I AM counting cuz it makes me feel like I am accomplishing something.................may change my mind sometime, but for now that is how I feel)

Love and hugs,:l:h

Anyone I missed, Nibs, Bird, everyone else have a wonderful night...................will check in on my phone tomorrow while I am out having fun................................

MA

[cowgal]

30 days???

me again!

Just wanted to touch base before I leave for lunch, just back from gym, after lunch, going to sit by the pool and soak up some rays (good for the skin cancer,huh??!) Oh well, I enjoy it!

Then I have some errands to run, and off to ride...............will try to check in later, you are my lifeline guys, will hit AA tonight too...................

love you guys!!!:l:h:l

MA

[brittzak]

30 days???

I am HOME!!!!! I love going, but I love coming home too. April9th was my Mama's death anniversary...I made it through sober. Stayed busy and then drove home from Florida so I MADE IT! Having a big bash here for Easter. I used to do it every year. But had stopped for a couple now because it just didnt feel the same without Billy. But, me and the kids really loved it, so we are moving on this year.
A case of wine....MAN O MAN...mine as well hook me up to an IV of wine and kill me!!! I would have NO self-control. I THINK everyone is feeling weak right now because it is warming up. For me that means BBQ's, the lake, etc....all of which usually meant ALCOHOL! So, we KNOW it is here, so I guess we gotta regroup and be aware of it.
I had stopped the topa but I am getting back on it. Time to arm myself...I will be sober! I WILL!!!
More2 have fun on your trip and be safe.
TIT...man girl you have had a rough time with your animals. So sorry to hear it.

[cowgal]

30 days???

oh man!

LUV, didn't know you were dealing w/ all that too..................good job on staying af! I have had the most peaceful day, lunch w/ a good friend, errands, they gym and pool, then a relaxing ride on the horses w/ another friend.....................I am truly blessed today..................no going to meet a bunch more friends (fellow's w/ drinking problems, how cool is that......AA of course) for a meeting, then out to eat................talk to you all tomorrow, another packed day, but not working, so that is COOL!! Start class on Monday night, so will be navigating the site on Sunday night learning all about what I got myself into!!

I am sure it is all good.....................

love you LUV, give yourself a hug and pat on the back for making it through such an emotional time....................:l:h

XOXO

MA

[brittzak]

30 days???

Thanks MA....it is a tremendous help to be able to share here. Kids went to their Dads last night and I thought ...why not get a bottle. BUT BUT BUT...I didn't! I made myself busy until 7 oclock hit...our liquor stores close at 7. SO no booze!!!!
Have a great day MA...sounds like you have a lot plan...have fun!

[greeneyes]

30 days???

Hey everybody! Luv, I didn't realize that. That is my mother's birthday. We buried her ashes on my birthday. Good for you for not drinking. I know what you mean about the weather. Last night I was downtown for dinner and when I walked up to the resto I looked at all the people sitting outside having drinks. That's something that gets to me. I feel wistful about it, but just can't risk it.

[Niblet]

30 days???

Hello everybody
Tex, that is just Beautiful about your vivid message straight from the Lord xxx Thank-you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this with us all... I pray that your mares and foals are all healthy as they have the most loving owners that care so dearly.

Luv, you are doing so amazing... I can't imagine what you are going through... tough stuff.

MA, hats off to you and your busy life..
More2, I know what you mean about having wine handy in the house. We make our own and always have it on hand.
Well, yesterday was truely beautiful and I spent alot of time outside... I've been working a bit in my flower beds and scouping doggie do from the long winter. Hubby changed our kitchen window while I hung sheets out on the laundry line. ahhhhh.. I love this warmer weather ! On Sunday we'll have a big turkey dinner with the kids.
So, I should get my butt in gear and get outside in the sun. What a great day to brush the winter hair out of the horses
Hugs, xxx

[Niblet]

30 days???

Oh, almost forgot, spedteach you Rock !!!!! Never mind counting those daunting days my friend !!!
Do you have to water all your veggies seeing as you get so little rain?... I can't wait for the rest of the snow to get off my garden and for warmer weather. Keep up the good work !