30 days???

[cowgal]

30 days???

Yep!

Greenie, you are so wise, I DO waste of of PRECIOUS energy on worry!!!! I will start searching the Internet for jobs elsewhere, unafraid of ANYTHING!!!! Promise........... I lost a really good job(boring, but much more rewarding than this!!) due to drinking, but learned a HUGE lesson from that, so GOD was trying, and succeeded in teaching me through that

Love ya!!:h:l

MA:thanks:

[toughintexas]

30 days???

MA, take the horses back to your friends, and take Mike's ass to court, file, get a emer. hearing for temp. support, and child support, if only one son goes with you, fine, the other won't last there a week with the fatass! I'd get an apt., anything, to get outta that situation, it only makes you down and out, and its not a good enviroment for the boys, you know that! You are better, and you will be even more so, once you change the drama of your life. You say you can't afford to leave, you can't afford NOT to! I know we've all harped on your ass, and you know I love you, but you need to have your own space, and some peace and quiet, and get outta that loosing situation. Stick with the job, you are making good money, it won't be as draining probably, if you aren't so drained at home, you'll find a new job, when the time is right. Or, get the hell outta there, and go back to the beach! You are worrying about all the wrong things, put that energy into a new life. You have a friend that is an atty., get him to help you file for separation and support. I'm not going to say another word about this again, this is it! You'll do it when you are on your last leg I guess, I just want you to make a change, before that happens! OXOXOXOXO

[toughintexas]

30 days???

MORE2, ticket bought here too! We are stuck together for 4 days.....awwwwwww....how sad....lol! Chuck is a bit pouty too, they'll get over it! He'll have been with me for over 2 wks up there, I'll drive all the way home with him, and then 4 dys later, fly back up! He'll be jealous we get to play! Gotta have our girls time tho! It'll be great! We're gonna pamper ourselves! We will plan a meet up next year, to CELEBRATE MA'S DIVORCE IS RIGHT! Geeeeezzzzzzz.........

[brittzak]

30 days???

TIT so good to have you back! Where the hell'd ya go anyway? Are you talking to your daughter?

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Hey LUV, I've been in and out of town. We are working on our house in Colorado being on the historical tour next month, and I was on the E. coast for my cancer check-up, its just been wild around here. When I'm in Ft. Collins, I don't even mess with my computer, and we spend as much time, outdoors as possible, and with friends, etc.....so I get way behind. We/I have been there most of last month, and the dog and I are drivng back up this weekend, to finish up details and an article on the house, and hubby is flying up the 5th. We'll be there til the 20th, then More2 and I are going for an extra long weekend to hang out. I've just been battling the beast too! Making lots of headway on the baclofen tho. We can do this! Papa Bear insists! Missed ya'll too!

[brittzak]

30 days???

Well..I am glad to have you home!!!! You have been very missed here.:l:h:l

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Oh, daughter hasn't spoken to me, since I sounded "werid" back in Feb., I was trying to get used to the dosing of the lexapro, and about to have a meltdown, she thought I was drunk, I tried to explain, but at the time, thought I was having a heart attack, and know I didn't make sense. She e-mailed me on my birthday, didn't call, my 50th, and just said she hoped I had a great birthday, that she was in Colorado at her stepsister's and hubby's, and to give the dog a smootch, not even an "love you", nada. Mothers Day came and went, no contact whatsoever. I know she's been disappointed, and I have been in the wrong, but she's not perfect either. I can't believe as close as we were, best friends really, that she can just cut me out of her life completely. It eats at me everyday. I was a good Mom too. I did things drunk that were embrassing to her I know, and said somethings I should've said sober, not drunk. But she's been drunk in front of me too, its not like she doesn't imbide now and again. She is very sensitive and spoiled, and she's also very smart and savvy. I really, really miss her. I will just have to work on that, after I am a-ok myself. I just can't believe, after talking to her many times in a day, that I don't even know what she's been doing, or where, or about school, I don't even know if she's living in the same place. I wrote her a letter, and told her that I was absolutely heartbroken that she didn't call me on my birthday, I was at a friends, so I didn't get the e-mail, was out-of-town, til the next day. I had a lovely 50th with friends, but everytime the phone rang, I thought surely it'd be her, and it never was. I told her I was doing the best I could, that I'm sorry she caught me at a bad moment, but that I couldn't sound perfect all the time, and was trying to get leveled out. I went to the crisis center, and had acupuncture, and evaluation in Colorado after the assault here at the house, and that really started the ball rolling on my recovery, sure, there's been bumps in the road. She had demanded, after not talking to me during the holidays, that I GO TO REHAB, OR SHE WASN'T HAVING ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME....now you guys, I'm seriously not that bad off, if I were, I'd have gone myself. She's 23, and thinks she knows best, has never had to support herself, done everything she's wanted to do, gone with us most every place of our married life, my hubby has loved her to death, and she him, she's given him up too.....I know I let her down on the drinking thing, but nobody is perfect. She was really, really weird and awful when I was assaulted, didn't believe me, called everyone I knew, and asked them if "alcohol was involved", like I asked for it or something....didn't come to the hospital, drove with my son, that I've also helped, alot, who has a drinking problem, and should understand, and I've never, ever judged him, and always listened, got him a councelor, etc.....and took the dog! It was hers to start, for 3 whole weeks, and she did it knowing I'd freak out, the dog is all that is here in the country with me, and I/we've taken care of him forever, she just "babysat" when she wanted, and it was convienent. I've told ya'll all this, they ended up not coming to the hospital, I had no idea why, was totally upset, and yes, hubby said at 11pm, when we got outta the hospital in Tyler, "we need to eat and have a drink"....trust me, I really did need one then. Outta the blue, she walks in, we're at the bar since that's the only place they served food that time of night, and she screams in front of everyone..."so, you were sexually assaulted and you came to the bar, why aren't you in the hospital, why don't you just have a drink then"....like some crazed fool, everyone at the bar was looking at her, then at me...I was not intoxicated. My son was hanging at the door, wouldn't even come in. The bartender said..."is that true, you were assaulted tonight?, (yes), then who was that bitch screaming at you that way, in front of everyone?" My daughter......she gave us our dinner and our measly 2 glasses of wine. Got home, was looking all over for our dog, who'd been hit, and slapped off of me during the assault, and found a note, that she'd taken him, and wouldn't be bringing him home. I lost it, I needed to see the dog, make sure he was ok, he'd been so scared too, and I was afraid they were going to kill him in front of me, and then me too. We called, and e-mailed nicely, pleaded and asked "why", "why would they not come rushing to the hospital instead?".....my son threathened my hubby, his stepdad, and on probation for DUI himself, took daughter to the police station and filed harrasement charges so we couldn't even call or e-mail them....they never pressed the charges, I called the police to check it out myself, and told them the ordeal. After Christmas, MORE2 can tell you how awful the holidays were, she got back in my graces, told her I did go to treatment, when I was in Colorado, doing all the work with the docs and crisis center, to make her happy, they did start me on the lexapro, and supplements, I was so distraught, this is all after all the deaths in my family too.....I didn't call her for 2 weeks, she had no idea I was in Colo., I told her I'd call her when I was ok. Things were ok, til I was titrating down, or trying to, on the lexapro, and as I said...sounded weird..... I did e-mail her, and told her I never did anything on purpose, but she pre-meditated not calling me on my birthday, knowing it'd hurt me, ditto she certainly did after that note, on purpose not recognized Mothers Day, I didn't even bother to acknowledge that....I felt, and friends have felt, the ball is in her court. Maybe I'm wrong. I just don't want to be dictated to by her, its her way, or the highway. I've done the best I can with all the things I've had to deal with, and I'm sorry she doesn't understand. I'd love her, and have, thru anything at all, nothing would ever stop me from wishing her a happy birthday, etc....I just don't understand it. We are/were sooooo close. It's like a death, except she's still out there, and I can't be a part of her life, and we've been a huge part of each others lives. Thanks for letting me vent! All opinions appreciated. Love you all.....

[brittzak]

30 days???

Honey, the ball is in her court!!!! I agree. My daughter is a spoiled lil onry thing too. I would be heartbroken too. But, if you crawling back...which is what she wants...you will be crawling forever. She is no longer a CHILD...she is a woman. There comes a time when we no longer nuture our children, but they do become more a friend. You can offer advise, but you can't make them take it...because they are GROWN. Yes, you have a drinking issue...we all admit that here. I don't think you deny that to her...but, her screaming and acting like a damn lunatic is not the mature way to handle any issue. If you were mentally ill or had cancer would she be screaming in your face...in public? That is ridiculous. To some degree yes there is a level of choice here, but this is a hard damn fight. She is grown TIT...as bad as I KNOW this has to hurt, you have to let her come back to you.

[toughintexas]

30 days???

I know, you are right. And yes, its really hard. I'm not an awful Mom tho, I know having a Mom that has pulled some good ones, is in its way, abusive, and you are right, her behavior wasn't any better. I've told her that she has no idea how she will react to things one day....she hasn't entered the real world tho, she works, yes, but spends that money on whatever she wants, its just spending money, and she hasn't walked in my shoes, and I hope she never does! I know she wants me to crawl back....AGAIN....More2 says she'd have never given her, her Christmas presents...lol...I never even got a card....I gave her brothers presents to her also, he surely won't communicate, he knows we know, that he insigated the deal with filing charges, which is just insanity.....he cashed the check from us, so I know he got his other presents too...they just never think how it feels in return. I know if I beg back, she'll use it forever...I'm sure too, that she's really, really surprised it hasn't happened yet. I've fallen off the wagon a couple of times, but not like before, she's bound to think that if I were still drinking like that, I'd have called toasted, begging, or pleading, or being pissy.....lol.....It's a hard thing to handle...but I've turned it over to God, I know he knows how much I love my kids, and I know he is watching over them, and I know somehow, one day, it'll work out, I just hope its sooner, than later! Thanks again for listening, and the advice.

[toughintexas]

30 days???

BTW, she's always totally and completely freaked out, calling and yelling, and cussing me out, not appropriate at all, everytime she even thinks I've overindulged, I've let friends hear her, and they couldn't believe it...its not helpful, or mature, or understanding at all....I don't blame her for being upset, but that's no more useful in helping the situation, than pouring a glass of wine either. Like I said, I just pray about it.

[brittzak]

30 days???

I gotta agree with More2...I would CUT THEM OFF...completely. I KNOW that will hurt, but as long as you give they know you are hurting and they are punishing you. I don't for one minute doubt that either of your children don't love you...but, punishing you and torturing you..which is what they are doing, is not the way to handle this issue. Cut them off the next holiday....see what happens. Call their bluff. You might be surprised by the result. :l

[greeneyes]

30 days???

TIT, it is not often that I find myself speechless. I suppose WTF are your kids thinking?! will have to do.

[cowgal]

30 days???

sorry

I just read your dilemma TIT, well, kids can be "ugly", like you said, praying about it will help.............they WILL come around, and I would "cut them off too" like everyone says........:l:h

I have ALOT of praying to do, rough day at work yesterday, boss called me in for a meeting since she is "concerned that they are hurting me",she said I look "tired, like my plate is crumbling, cracked and I am still trying to hold it together"...................First thing out of my mouth was "I am so tired", I mean working 6:30-?? every day is hard, she pretty much said "get used to it"...................and no Fridays off anymore until you have been here for years, the two "senior nurses", get every other Friday off..................have been there for about 4 years each. Well, I broke down and told her alot, not about my drinking but about my trip being stressful, then coming home and having to work 12+ hours every day, having 2 teeenage boys I haven't hardly seen since I work during every waking hour of the day, go home eat and straight to bed...........alot of other stuff, I just broke down, mostly since I am newly AF and sooooooooooooo tired!!!!

She gave me a list of questions, such as, "is this the right job for me", "what are my strong points" , "what are my weaknesses", What do I like about this job, what do I dislike about this job............many others, then the kicker..................."should Mary Anne take a break from the workforce to get her life situation more workable"!?!?! I couldn't sleep last night, I mean, she wants me to answer these all by Friday and meet w/ the personnel director on Friday, I am just going to be honest...........write most stuff on separate piece of paper though, then fine tune it.......................I mean this could change everything.................???? Talk about GOD working in my life, I just need to keep praying about this one and remember who is in charge!?

Gotta go, off to the hell-hole, not so bad of a day today though..............then only about 1/2 (well usually more) tomorrow........................

lots of love,:l:h

MA

[greeneyes]

30 days???

Excellent point MA. The first thing that came to mind was the book "The Devil Wears Prada". In this case a nurse's uniform. Back to your point. This for sure ain't working for you and this could be a way out without quitting. MA, tap your resources and educate yourself before Friday's meeting so you know what your rights are so that you navigate this in a way that is most beneficial to you. Look up Family Medical Leave Act. is there a law school at FSU? Call them and see if you can find a legal aid program you can call and ask employment questions. Call Employment Security Commission. You need to go in there informed even though you are right that in the BIG scheme of things you are not in control, but you are a player.

[toughintexas]

30 days???

Thanks guys, I really needed a lil reinforcement! During the time I did beg her back into my life, that's when she got her Christmas presents, and I got Norman back, she was tired of having to take care of him, let him out, and stay around to play with him, even tho she'd never admit it, so trust me, right then, and even now, it was a good trade. They'll never get him back, ever. LOL I'll be ok, and God will take care of it. Off to get my hair done and visit a friend in Kilgore. Love you all sooooo much!