All with low self esteem raise hands

[Guest]

All with low self esteem raise hands

Gab, while your there take his pen.
Smiles
m

[Guest]

All with low self esteem raise hands

You sound like me simeybear...I makes jokes all the time, my house and yard must be perfect if anyone comes over, etc... I act like a hard ass when I am actaully a little balled up kitten inside.

[Guest]

All with low self esteem raise hands

Yep Luv, That me, I have to have it perfect. While inside I'm a mess. What is really screwed up though is that because I have this need to be "perfect" it puts a lot of people off. That is why people don't like me. I don't know how many times in the past people after getting to know me have said"when i first met you I didn't like you, you seemed like a real bitch" How can you win?
Mary

[Guest]

All with low self esteem raise hands

I don't know! I can tell you that when something REALLY wrong happens that you had no control over...like my fiance' passing away, it about has made me nuts. I am such a control freak and damnit, I didn't allow and say this could happen. Plus, after he died I found out little secrets...how dare he keep a secret either.

[Guest]

All with low self esteem raise hands

Control,me want control? Oh yes(my whole life never thought I had it).isn't it strange how different you feel on the inside and act on the outside. I would imagine your siutation would be the ultimate test in giving over control. You a stong gal. By the way left you a little message under your post wine.
lov u LUV
Mar

[dilayne]

All with low self esteem raise hands

I don't try to be perfect anymore, got tired of that...now I just want everyone else to be :0P Well, not everyone, but maybe I want my husband to be..poor guy!

[Popeye]

All with low self esteem raise hands

I spent years hating myself. Often not caring if I were alive or not.
I've always been the quiet one in the corner for as long as I can remember.
I've never 'talked' so much in my life since coming here, except while drunk of course, and then I can't shut up.
I stopped pretending to be interesting or successful in the eyes of others a long time ago; I guessed that it was just more baggage to lug around. I ended up not caring how untidy I was or how I behaved. I just didn't care.
I do feel better about myself recently. I have some self-respect back. I even have recent plans to study at home, along with my dad, for a degree, which is something that all my siblings have had for years.
Things are looking up.....thanks to all at MWO.

[existence]

All with low self esteem raise hands

i've never really had any self-esteem. i got bullied from nursery right up to my second year in college constantly. i always got told that i was ugly, no one liked me...blahdi blah blah, you know the typical stuff.

i know self-esteem is waiting out there somwhere, but it feels like it is just a hair out of reach. i too also have OCD, i have to lock my door whether i am in the house or not, i have to feel safe, doors locked, windows shut, blinds closed, curtains closed. i am odd i know :P

[Happier]

All with low self esteem raise hands

I can blame my self esteem issues on my parents.
They are real oblivious when it comes to saying the right things to children and adults.
They are constantly hung up on weight. When I was about 12 I had just come back from swimming and my father had me twirl in a circle for him in my swimsuit and he said to my mother let's hope she never gets fat. He would always make little side comments my whole life about my weight. Gee, I wonder why I had anorexia? I still have weight issues that will haunt me the rest of my life.
Oh and then when I was around 17 my Grandma (who never gave compliments) said that I was pretty and my dad said oh don't say that she'll get a big head. Instead, couldn't he say yes I am quite proud of her or something nice. Ughhh.
I always tell my boys how handsome they are. I sure hope I broke the chain.

After Elizabeth Edwards was just diagnosed with her breast cancer the 2nd time you know what my mom said? Oh, she's so fat she looks terrible.
I'm so sick and tired of her talking about people and their weight.
I have many friends who are thin and heavy and I don't care what size they are. I love them for who they are.
I just wish I could let myself go and not worry about a couple of pounds but they ruined me.
Ok, glad I got that off my chest.

Thanks for the great topic Simey because I think I need to see a shrink for self esteem issues.
Now, I am going to go take my beautiful collie for a walk and make myself feel better. She's my therapy. Plus, she's on an exercise plan because the vet says she needs to lose a few pounds. Isn't that so funny?

[Guest]

All with low self esteem raise hands

Ironic, huh? Parent's don't realise the damage that is done with their words. I'm sure your boys will grow up with only the most lovely memories of Mom.
Smiles
mary

[Elizabeth]

All with low self esteem raise hands

My self esteem goes down hill when I'm in a place too long. I know that sounds crazy but adrenalin and exploring the new keeps me going and I won't put up with anyone trying to sus me out. I also relate to Simey saying that people at first meeting me could'nt relate. Self esteem only becomes an issue when I let people get too close and yet I am also a deep feeling person who loves my friends and family and would protect them with my life.

I'm making no excuse for alcholism but I think that we have all experienced and travelled down a lot of roads (metaphorically speaking) than most folks. I believe we experience many lives, always meet the same individuals in different situations each time. Sometimes its in our favour the next not. Whatever the story, the belief in good and love is what its all about. I'm sorry I sound so dam boring. Just giving my 10 cents and hope you'll put up with me!

[Rocky]

All with low self esteem raise hands

Yes I do...But there are many others who abuse alcohol who do not...

[Bean]

All with low self esteem raise hands

Happier - I know what you mean. My parents are really hung up about weight and it's always the first thing they comment on when they see me (even though I am 'normal' size really, could be better could be worse). I defined myself for years according to how slim/overweight I was and then the last 10 years I have let things go because drinking gets in the way of energy for exercising...
Anyway, your post hit a chord because I was feeling really upset the last two days as a 'friend' has recently been criticising the way I relate to people whenever I see her. I don't know why. She always makes her comments in a really gentle way which just disguises the poison. A few months ago when I was at a low ebb, I took her comments so personally and felt like I was a really hateful person. Now that I am feeling stronger, I can step away from the situation and see that it's her problem, not mine. My Mum just told me to 'give' it all back to her next time it happens. I feel a weight (no pun intended) off my shoulders to have someone confirm that I am a good, kind person and that this so called friend is the one who has some issue. I know that when we have healthy self esteem, criticisms and barbed comments don;t have the power to hurt us so much and I'm sure many of us abuse alcohol owing to low self esteem. Taking control of my drinking always helps to make my skin a little bit tougher.
Sorry, bit of a ramble. x

[morrison]

All with low self esteem raise hands

Hand is raised at the moment

Yes Simey, gotta say I do. Funny thing, is I was getting some self esteem back until I fell off. I really feel for some of the people in this thread. I'm sorry your parents are so critical. Thats gotta be tough. I also thought everybody that drank had low self esteem. I hid it well. I would hate when people would say things like "you think you're great," or "you're in love with yourself." I put on an act for people, all the while a nervous wreck inside. I didn't know I would over do it and come off cocky. Well, the new sober me is just going to be me. We all can't be the most popular person in the room, and I can live with that.

[Happier]

All with low self esteem raise hands

Yes, it is very hard having very critical parents but thank goodness my husband is not.
In fact, when I get too thin he gently reminds me to put a little weight on. Not in a critical way.

The sad thing is after almost 20 years of marriage my parents have never accepted my husband. Of course, they never accepted my older brother's wives either. My oldest brother disowned the family because of my parents and my others brother wife won't come to my parents house either. My parent's just love my younger sister's husband though. He can do no wrong.

It's so funny how parents can treat siblings so different. I don't understand why they don't care for my husband. He works hard and he has tons of hobbies. He's a workaholic and he does what he wants in life. He motorcycles, snowmobiles, boats and we travel a lot in our motorhome. The funny thing is that my husband finally let me get a dog 2 years ago and he picked out the breed and everything and it is so darn adorable to see him with this dog. He lays on the floor with his head on her and kisses her all over. He calls her fluffs because she is a collie and has so much fur. Her real name is Sadie. He just adores her. He lets her lick his face up.
Well I tell my mom this and she just kind of wrinkles her nose and kind of makes comments that she doesn't believe that my husband is this loving. It just bugs me!!!!!!!
It kind of hurts. I just have to let go and not let her bother me any more! It's just not easy. Sorry I'm rambling but that is where a lot my pain stems from. Some was physical
but most was verbal.