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One Step at a Time - October 2013

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    One Step at a Time - October 2013

    Hi Everyone!

    I actually went home after my interview, my chest was all congested and I was mentally just pooped. I would LOVE to hear something about my interview soon, because I am at the point where I don't care about THIS job anymore....the mental anguish is getting to me. I have been trying to get to the Police Department since 2010!! Short of begging them, I don't know what else to do.

    Wow, we are a bunch of sickies around here. I say we all go home and snuggle up with our four legged buddies and a blankie and a good book. Sound good?

    At least it's Friday...TG!!

    Be back later :h
    :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

    Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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      One Step at a Time - October 2013

      hiya peeps...therapy last night so I got home around 9:30 and went to bed
      not much to report here. I am feeling better. Allegra D and Mtorin seem to help
      We don't have football game tonight, so I will be curled up watching "Scandal" on Netflix. I just started watching it and it's really good
      hugs to all
      I will pass out the Kleenex, cough drops and blankies
      I love my family more than alcohol.:h
      Live in the Solution....not the problem

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        One Step at a Time - October 2013

        Yep I agree with the blankies and 4 legged kids...in my case that would be 12 legs....and 8 more if u count the cats...
        Doing a little laundry to catch up..but keeping it low key and not over exerting myself. Still need to plant my bulbs but maybe tomorrow...volunteered to help at chruch at 7:30 AM tomorrow...what was I thinking....hope I feel better by then....
        Dottie

        Newbie's Nest

        Tool Box
        ____________
        AF 9.1.2013

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          One Step at a Time - October 2013

          Had a horrible night last night. Ended up crying myself to sleep after being told I'm a selfish person for having children and not staying married and raising them in a broken home. I am apparently what is wrong with this world. This went on til 3:30 AM this morning. If I didn't respond one place I was called/texted/Fb. Then I get up early to spend the day with my daughter. We were going to lunch and shopping. She knows I wanted to start Christmas shopping but she wanted to pick the clothes out. Ok, well she ends up mad as hell because I want to save stuff for Christmas. Screams at me tells me the clothes will be out of season. Refuses to go anywhere so we came back home. I give up! I'm starting to think maybe I am what is wrong.
          AF 10/21/2013...ODAT :kudos:

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            One Step at a Time - October 2013

            Absolutely NO WAY Getting are you wrong!

            You are meeting the challenges head on and that's why these 'people' are pushing at you.
            I have noticed that when I start to do the right thing regarding an event or a person or a situation...it looks in the short term that my life is going to hell in a hand basket and it is so fricken easy to beat the heck out of myself- especially since I am VERY good at that!

            But lately I just have to say, 'NO! I will not let myself go to the dark side. I will win over this no matter what....Damit!! '
            Then I feel a but calmer and I can carry on and with in a few days, my ship seems to have righted itself.

            I'm actually there as we speak..
            I Haven't been on MWO much posting because so much nonsense with Matt...he's been bugging his Dad to divorce me...REALLY?? Matt...? Grass greener over the septic tank kind of thinking for my precious guy...completely clueless that he has the world at his fingertips...not in the fantasy world he creates in his head... and it sounds like you ran into a few of the same people with the same kind of mindset...especially your beautiful daughter!

            We are all here behind you, sweetie. Don't let all their negativity infect you and your progress. They don't mean to be mean...they're all suffering their own pain as well and most people I have noticed like to dump their garbage in others people's cans...so to speak...

            So just keep the lid on your can and stay close to us.
            Hugs and heart:l:h
            On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
            *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
            https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
            https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

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              One Step at a Time - October 2013

              Thank-you Kradle....I know I am overly emotional right now. Brit is a teenager and man are they selfish and self-absorbed. Now she tells me today she doesn't care about Christmas. OK..let me not have gifts for her Christmas morning and see how much she doesn't care...she cares and she knows she cares. Ridiculous! She's spoiled rotten, that's the problem.
              Kids dad just called and his heat is out. He's bringing Zak over because it is in the 30's here and he'd freeze over there tonight. I'm glad cause he's a cuddly kid and I could use the hug right now.
              Today is day 5 and I will not drink today.
              Poor Matt is so confused. No one wishes their parents to divorce. Have you found any help for him? What does your husband say to that request?
              All I know is raising teenagers is a hell of a job. I'm putting a voodoo hex on Brit to have triplet girls EXACTLY like her. LOL I gotta joke or cry right now.
              AF 10/21/2013...ODAT :kudos:

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                One Step at a Time - October 2013

                Therapy keeps telling us that as drinks WE ran the household and our family learned to live with it. We need to remember they are healing too and we need to encourage as much family talk as we can. It's hard with a teen ager....believe me, I know.
                You are doing great gettin...kids just know which buttons to push. Same for you Kradle. Especially a kid with issues like Matt has. Just know you are both good moms and you are doing the best you can. Early sobreity is tricky for everyone.
                You are feeling feelings you used to numb and your family may be waiting for the "old" you to come back.
                Emotions will be running high on both sides. It's normal. But a hormonal teenager certainly doesn't help.
                Love you both to bits.
                I am sleepy and bored at work.
                I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                Live in the Solution....not the problem

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                  One Step at a Time - October 2013

                  triplets....tee hee
                  and yes, how is the search for help with Matt going?
                  I am so blessed that my kids are relatively normal!!
                  I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                  Live in the Solution....not the problem

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                    One Step at a Time - October 2013

                    Jeez sounds like some stressful situations kradle and gettin,i know i spoiled my kids too much id give them money or let them get their way because i was always drunk,now when i say no its hard for them to swallow,man i want to drink,two weeks of being sick has taken its toll i feel worn out,mynperiod started,i have the 40 day blues,who fuckin knows! i wont though,thinking it through makes me ill
                    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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                      One Step at a Time - October 2013

                      Pauly it will pass...hang in there if you can sweetie. I know it's hard
                      I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                      Live in the Solution....not the problem

                      Comment


                        One Step at a Time - October 2013

                        Pauley that's exactly it. She's used to getting her way because I was either drinking or hungover so in guilt she is used to me handing over the cash or card and saying go ahead. It's my own fault, I know it. She's a good kid most of the time.

                        You stand strong! The blue moment passes. TG! And you'll be grateful you are it through and don't have a hangover.
                        AF 10/21/2013...ODAT :kudos:

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                          One Step at a Time - October 2013

                          I just had to jump in and join the teenage angst conversation!

                          Gettin - You made me laugh about the triplets thing....it would probably backfire and they'd all be the perfect little angels. LOL

                          I could NOT get through all this crap with Sierra if I was drinking. I can guarantee that if I was still drunk I would have never gotten to her issues (would have ignored her moods), wouldn't have pushed my way into getting her into the doctor and on meds, and would have never gotten her into therapy. She would have suffered through this alone, and to what end...who knows?? Too scary to think about. So I am thankful EVERY day that I am sober.

                          Kradle - I can't believe Matt said that...OMG, how do you even respond to that? That would just blow me away. Again...you have my deepest respect, and I'm sending tons of hugs your way :l:l:l

                          3.5 more hours of work...I'm dying! LOL
                          Still no word from P.D...............
                          :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                          Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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                            One Step at a Time - October 2013

                            waiting to hear K9...
                            Kradle..you have my respect too babe..
                            heading out in 15 minutes!! YAY!!
                            home to Netflix and bed!!!
                            (I am so old and boring!)
                            I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                            Live in the Solution....not the problem

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                              One Step at a Time - October 2013

                              K9 don't be discouraged. It is likely they aren't doing crap on a Friday. Weekend mode kicks in at noon.

                              She's already regretting acting like a lunatic. She just went and got us soup at the deli by our apartment. I'm thinking 1 outta 3 has to be rotten. HA HA If nothing else, dressing three girls should be punishment enough. They are way more expensive than boys.

                              Zak's on his way. He's eating with his dad then he will be here. I guess we are going to the flea markets tomorrow. See what kinda junk I can find.
                              AF 10/21/2013...ODAT :kudos:

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                                One Step at a Time - October 2013

                                I really want to drink! i know nobody can stop me,thats up to me but fuck im struggling,i even bought beer its only 2:30 here and its calling me so hard im shaking! tried drinking water,too tense to eat,everything is just annoying me! i hate this,this fucking disease or compulsion will end up killing me someday,i cant live the rest of my life with chronic day ones,but i feel like i cant live without it either!
                                I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                                I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                                Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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