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    #46
    SOBER OCTOBER

    Crazy Friday night, antabuse and Perrier. Actually feels good.

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      #47
      SOBER OCTOBER

      Tea and plum crumble sitting by the fire.

      One is torture so what's the point. It gets the juices flowing and leads to 2 then 3. .....

      Have a happy serene Friday, folks.
      "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
      Lao-Tzu

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        #48
        SOBER OCTOBER

        As busy as I was today, I managed to take a half hour at work to walk. I got home late and hubby was coming home even later so I ran on the treadmill for a bit. I'm gonna sleep good tonight, I hope. Three weeks no al for me today! Feeling good!

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          #49
          SOBER OCTOBER

          Made it through Friday night. Can't wait to wake up in the morning to THAT realization!
          You had the power all along, my dear.

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            #50
            SOBER OCTOBER

            Kailey;1564643 wrote: Made it through Friday night. Can't wait to wake up in the morning to THAT realization!
            INDEED! I feel the same way! :goodjob:
            "If you want something you've never had...you have to be willing to do something you've never done!"- unknown
            ___________________
            Goal 1-30 days AF, 10/31
            Goal 2-51 days AF. 11/22
            Goal 3 - Moderation through December!

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              #51
              SOBER OCTOBER

              In retrospect , a rewrite. I hate how defeated I was sounding, and it's not like that.
              Day 5, and despite a couple if really challenging events, I didn't drink today. Both times, I thought about it. In the morning, when a bad aftershock hit , I figured I might drink tomorrow. Couldn't guarantee I wouldn't. But I definitely wasn't going to drink today.
              Then this afternoon, when my mother told me her cancer is back, I wavered and wobbled, but I was mostly numb & out if my body already. So what did I need alcohol for? Instead , I cooked a huge roast chicken dinner & settled in with my husband in front of a movie. I still can't guarantee tomorrow. But at least I will wake up to the hard stuff in the morning, better able to deal with it all. And if this is it, for my mother , or if it is more radio & chemo and surgery and God knows what, I'll be stronger for her, too.

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                #52
                SOBER OCTOBER

                Quakegirl;1564703 wrote: In retrospect , a rewrite. I hate how defeated I was sounding, and it's not like that.
                Day 5, and despite a couple if really challenging events, I didn't drink today. Both times, I thought about it. In the morning, when a bad aftershock hit , I figured I might drink tomorrow. Couldn't guarantee I wouldn't. But I definitely wasn't going to drink today.
                Then this afternoon, when my mother told me her cancer is back, I wavered and wobbled, but I was mostly numb & out if my body already. So what did I need alcohol for? Instead , I cooked a huge roast chicken dinner & settled in with my husband in front of a movie. I still can't guarantee tomorrow. But at least I will wake up to the hard stuff in the morning, better able to deal with it all. And if this is it, for my mother , or if it is more radio & chemo and surgery and God knows what, I'll be stronger for her, too.
                I'm sorry to hear about your mother, your decision not to drink in spit of that is very brave and inspiring. Pls keep going.
                Best, Tom

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                  #53
                  SOBER OCTOBER

                  Oh Quake I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Good for you not taking that drink! Just take it one day at a time.

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                    #54
                    SOBER OCTOBER

                    OK TOM. Tom it is.

                    I gotta clean my room - wait, I did clean it yesterday. Cool, I can relax.

                    -S-

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                      #55
                      SOBER OCTOBER

                      thelaststraw;1564790 wrote: OK TOM. Tom it is.

                      I gotta clean my room - wait, I did clean it yesterday. Cool, I can relax.

                      -S-
                      Hah, nice job..I was testing you...

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                        #56
                        SOBER OCTOBER

                        3 mile trail run in the woods this morning and got so freakin lost that I had to walk another 2 miles to find my car. Good stuff.

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                          #57
                          SOBER OCTOBER

                          Quake girl. Fantastic that you have the presence of mind to say no to booze when hit by the ferocious blow of impending difficulties for the mother you cherish. I am not sure I could be that strong. I will think of you when I need a role model in perservering in my AF life.

                          Working hard today but it's outdoor work and the autumn colours are spectacular.
                          "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                          Lao-Tzu

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                            #58
                            SOBER OCTOBER

                            Dear Quakegirl, I am sorry to hear about your mother -- that is troubling news and you were so strong to resist turning to the bottle. You are so right, the problems will still be there in the morning and it is so much better to address them with a clear head. In my signature is a TED talk by Brene Brown on being vulnerable. It talks about how addiction is an effort to numb ourselves from negative emotions -- but when we numb the bad, we also numb the good. Whatever happens with your mom, you (and she) will do better if you are fully present. It's one of the best gifts we can give someone we love -- to be fully present with them. Thinking of you.
                            Free at Last
                            "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

                            Highly recommend this video
                            http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

                            July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

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                              #59
                              SOBER OCTOBER

                              thank you, all

                              Day 6, and funnily enough, also the 6th here! Go figure. I never planned it to be like that (Sober October). I just quit right after a holiday, and after another boozy plane ride, and it happened to be the 1st the very next day.
                              I really appreciate all the support re my mother, and also the encouragement. Having a place to come to talk about all this, and people who just understand the struggle, helps so much. I really do want to stay on the straight and narrow, because it helps me feel stronger and surer, and less like living on a rollercoaster. It's not just the drinking - I need to radically change my life, in other ways, to get strong enough to deal with all the challenges (and opportunities) that are just getting pushed under the carpet at the moment. But nothing can really happen until the drinking stops. So regardless of what life keeps throwing at me, getting my head clear and my body calm is my number one priority. And ironically, it is those things that will enable me to deal more effectively (or deal at all) with all the big stuff in my life. I don't know how long this quit is for. But I'm committed to today, and now that I am in the Sober October camp, I guess I'm committed to October, too. I do remember from last time how HAPPY I felt, not drinking. Not just that the struggle of will I/won't I,how many and when etc was gone - but at some more fundamental level, I was just plain HAPPY.I keep hanging onto that. I'd like it back

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                                #60
                                SOBER OCTOBER

                                Ran on the treadmill today and then took a look walk with my daughter CJ. It's still nice and warm here. I did something to my foot and it was pretty sore today. Hoping it'll be ok for my next run, probably Tuesday. Actually lost a few pounds!

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