SOBER OCTOBER

[Tom321]

SOBER OCTOBER

Coming into the last week, hope everyone stays strong. I just wanted to say g

[Tom321]

SOBER OCTOBER

As we come into the last week i just wanted to say thanks to everyone involved. In the interest of sharing i want to let you all in on something- during one of my many quits, months ago, my doctor prescribed me Klonopin which should have been for short term use but i managed to stay on them and, yes, drank pretty heavily on them as well. Getting sober is tough enough, even more so with benzo's involved. I am coming into day 50 something of sobriety now. It was probably too much too soon but 2 weeks into sobriety i asked my doctor to start tapering me off the klonopin. I wanted to be done with those badly. That combined with the alcohol recovery has been absolute hell at times. For the last 3 days i have been on such a small dose that i can finally see the finish line coming into focus a bit and that makes me happy. November could be a big month for me. Anyway, enough sad sack stuff. My purpose here is to let you know that despite all my goofiness here that you have all helped see me through a very dark time with your inspiration and kind words and the fact that i feel honored that i have come to care about the plight of each of you. Thank you, truly
Tom

[I'm Strong and in Control]

SOBER OCTOBER

Quakegirl;1573238 wrote: Hey Strongetc - thanks for the questions. They are good ones. I really don't know what I am doing. This week, I had 3 attempts at drinking. None of them 'took'. Why? I really don't know. I was out of town on business and eating out on my own each night. Maybe that was a trigger for me? At home, I am really armed and all defended up, ready with my 'no thanks, I don't drink' when I am with other people. But away, it's just me...also, I had a conversation with a therapist I have seen from time to time who thinks I am trying to do too many things at once (the terminal mother, issues with my aging dad, big time at work, heavy gym programme, not drinking etc etc) and she really doesn't seem to think I have a drinking problem.
Regardless, I feel so much better for not drinking. I like the feeling when I wake up in the morning. I like not feeling guilty. I like not consuming up to 800 useless cals a day. I like setting a good example for my teenage kids. And I very much like that I am not encouraging my husband, who really shouldn't be drinking too much for health issues, to drink.
How did I get there? I think I allowed myself to toy with the 'what ifs'. And I have been lucky, that when I DID experiment this week, it didn't stick. But I know that is likely more luck than anything, and it wouldn't take much for me to fall all the way back off the wagon.
I didn't drink after work tonight, while everyone else did. And that was fine. It really didn't bother me. I don't feel like I am missing anything - at the moment, the balance is tipped more towards gaining things from not drinking, than gaining things from drinking...sometimes when it feels the easiest, is when I think I'm at most risk from just getting caught off guard and forgetting.

I'm with you, Quakegirl. I also feel at the moment that "the balance has tipped" and live in the fear that it can tip in the other direction at any time. Socializing a bit more, and the thoughts and justifications are more frequent. I'm still in the momentum of the motivation from my last binge. I too certainly don't need the 1000-plus calories a night.

[I'm Strong and in Control]

SOBER OCTOBER

Tom321;1573338 wrote: As we come into the last week i just wanted to say thanks to everyone involved. In the interest of sharing i want to let you all in on something- during one of my many quits, months ago, my doctor prescribed me Klonopin which should have been for short term use but i managed to stay on them and, yes, drank pretty heavily on them as well. Getting sober is tough enough, even more so with benzo's involved. I am coming into day 50 something of sobriety now. It was probably too much too soon but 2 weeks into sobriety i asked my doctor to start tapering me off the klonopin. I wanted to be done with those badly. That combined with the alcohol recovery has been absolute hell at times. For the last 3 days i have been on such a small dose that i can finally see the finish line coming into focus a bit and that makes me happy. November could be a big month for me. Anyway, enough sad sack stuff. My purpose here is to let you know that despite all my goofiness here that you have all helped see me through a very dark time with your inspiration and kind words and the fact that i feel honored that i have come to care about the plight of each of you. Thank you, truly
Tom

Wow, Tom. I have a friend with a klonopin/alcohol story about Thanksgiving at her in-laws that is just to die for! Glad to hear that it is soon to be over and you've come out the other side, wit and dignity intact, and brought us all along, with big grins on our faces. Thank YOU.

[free at last]

SOBER OCTOBER

Tom, I'll echo Strong's comments.

Great job everyone. Let's finish this month with a huge boot to that bugger AL.

[Quakegirl]

SOBER OCTOBER

Tom321;1573338 wrote: As we come into the last week i just wanted to say thanks to everyone involved. In the interest of sharing i want to let you all in on something- during one of my many quits, months ago, my doctor prescribed me Klonopin which should have been for short term use but i managed to stay on them and, yes, drank pretty heavily on them as well. Getting sober is tough enough, even more so with benzo's involved. I am coming into day 50 something of sobriety now. It was probably too much too soon but 2 weeks into sobriety i asked my doctor to start tapering me off the klonopin. I wanted to be done with those badly. That combined with the alcohol recovery has been absolute hell at times. For the last 3 days i have been on such a small dose that i can finally see the finish line coming into focus a bit and that makes me happy. November could be a big month for me. Anyway, enough sad sack stuff. My purpose here is to let you know that despite all my goofiness here that you have all helped see me through a very dark time with your inspiration and kind words and the fact that i feel honored that i have come to care about the plight of each of you. Thank you, truly
Tom

Hey, Tom, Benzo withdrawal is a bitch. Kudos to you for retaining your sense of humour (and creativity - can't wait for the 50 Shades red carpet event. Am assuming there'll be one?), compassion and support for the rest of us, through it all. Couldn't do it without you, and everyone here. It's good to see people hanging in there, even through the tough stuff - makes you realise that it's not what's going on in your life that drives you to drink, but how you're dealing with it. Counting down to the 31st...

[Tom321]

SOBER OCTOBER

Thank you all, I really appreciate it. Quake, don't know about a red carpet event...Nora doesn't seem to do too well with carpets these days.

[Quakegirl]

SOBER OCTOBER

Red Lino Event then. Safer.

[SoberSoul]

SOBER OCTOBER

Tom thanks so much for manning this thread when I was scarce and that was often. You have leadership skills and are my new hero for suffering and beating two strongly addictive substances at once. I got a lot of inspiration from this thread just by reading all the interaction and encouragement. I truly wish you all the best in the month of November. Ever hopeful, I will be continuing my slow, arduous,yet somewhat progressive journey towards abstinence. Xxx

[Tom321]

SOBER OCTOBER

Thank you, Sober. I have learned a lot from you and I am hopeful on your behalf.

[NoraC]

SOBER OCTOBER

Hey all -

I can take a nose dive on any surface - level or unleve. :H Maybe, I'll include that

Tom - want to chime in with everyone else to say I'm happy for seeing the finish line with the Klonopin. That is FANTASTIC. :l

[Tom321]

SOBER OCTOBER

Thx, Nora. Very sweet of you.

NoraC;1573787 wrote: Hey all -

I can take a nose dive on any surface - level or unleve. :H Maybe, I'll include that

Tom - want to chime in with everyone else to say I'm happy for seeing the finish line with the Klonopin. That is FANTASTIC. :l

[Tom321]

SOBER OCTOBER

6 days left, people. I slept like a derelict, Uggh, tired. DOESN'T MATTER! Let's grind it out, ramp it up when necessary. This month ends in candy.

[free at last]

SOBER OCTOBER

I am with you guys every remaining step of October. But, no red carpets or limos for me. (Unless you have a magic carpet to bring me back to USA instead of Boeing's fleet.)

Tom -- what a lot to take on. Congrats!

[Tom2]

SOBER OCTOBER

The artist formerly known as tom321. Long story.