Hi Morrison
Sounds like you are feeling pretty low.
maybe i am at an earlier stage of recovery than you are...
but i am feeling that as long as i am making some kind of progress, I am doing ok.
sounds like you made so much progress but had all this pressure built up in you while abstaining.
i remember one good experience i had at AA (in general, didn't like the public nature of it). most of the members were warning me not to drink or to even think i could moderate.
one young woman who had been sober for years told me: "Go ahead, if you think you can drink and moderate. come back if you find out you can't."
on the subject of not being able to drink on special occasions like weddings, her comment was: "Why drink and ruin a special day?"
she didn't seem troubled and she wasn't interested in forcing me to do anything.
it might have been a case of reverse psychology but her comments were very freeing to me. she wanted me to make the choice. i think abstinence needs to be a positive choice, maybe you are in some ways feeling deprived and therefore you had this binge?
how do we get to this positive level? i sure don't know. as i said, one member always talks about baby steps and that seems to be all i can manage at the moment...
a few years ago, i was abstinent for 4 months. i still remember it and marvel at it, think it is amazing and it taught me a lesson, that it is possible! it was such a learning experience.
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