Why I disagree with AA

[spincycle]

I'm new here, AF as of today. I'm here as an alternative to AA as I cannot agree with them. I know people who have done well in AA, and that is awesome, but not for me.
The breaking point was nothing about the steps, or that the big book is written in 1930's speak, or the pity party most of them become, or the smokey dingy rooms, or the occasionaly crack whore that walks in. MY problem with AA is their way is "the only way"
No prescriptions are encouraged, don't even think about mentioning in to the other members. Half the meeting is wasted reciting the same things posted on the walls about religious affiliations, god would and could remove my "moral defects", etc. Your already a cucumber so don't think about trying to moderate. Disagree? You are in denial. You cannot win. Stop drinking but stopped going to AA? Now your just a dry drunk, always 5 minutes away from falling off the wagon. Didn't attend 30 meeting in 30 days? Your not taking it seriously enough.

I got myself into this. Not because I have some cunning and baffling disease. If were addicted to cigars, nasal spray, and cough medicine would that be a disease as well???

I want to deal with this for what I believe this is. A dependency, a habit, maybe self medication for anxiety/insomnia/depression. I believe I have a habit, a bad one. I bite my nails, and if I can stop for 3 weeks I bet I can kick that habit. Alcohol can create dependence, unlike nail biting so pharmaceutical intervention and diet makes sense to me!

Thank you for all being here. If you love AA and it works for you, I am tickled pink. I'm just venting because it seems like everything in my town is ONLY aa/12 step, and I am excited to find this program.

[hope4me]

Why I disagree with AA

Where are you from Spincycle? I was going to join AA because as you said, that is all that I have found so far. I then decided to check out more of the online help and here I am too.

[morrison]

Why I disagree with AA

Welcome guys!

Hey, if it works, great. That is my attitude as well. But, my biggest problem with the AA is the "recovering" part. So, you are always in recover? You are never recovered? I just don't like that dreadful concept. Many people have quit, and had great lives without the stigma of this "disease." Sorry, I just try to be a little more optomistic in life. Anyway, its great you are both here, and I'm sure you'll like it. There is some great stuff here. Personally, I like the Campral. Others like the Topa. Everybody is differenet, but there is something for everyone. I know that for sure. A lot of people stopped drinking using different methods. That is what I like about this place. Guess what? There are alternatives. Congrats on finding this place. :goodjob:

[Flip]

Why I disagree with AA

Try looking at this....

Powerless Over Alcohol

[tea]

Why I disagree with AA

Hi all, I also found AA to be the 'pity party' (liked that description), I also found it a bit intrusive as being more or less 'forced' to share when I wasn't comfortable doing so, members phoning me or even calling round to my house to 'support' me uninvited was way too much for me. Some folks like that but for me it was way too much.

Lorna

[spincycle]

Why I disagree with AA

Hey, I'm in Houston. I swear I have called 40 places and the "AA alternatives" are just rebranded 12 step programs. I just feel like I can't throw my heart and soul into something when I disagree with their core tenets..ya know? AA is NOT the only way!

hope4me;122855 wrote: Where are you from Spincycle? I was going to join AA because as you said, that is all that I have found so far. I then decided to check out more of the online help and here I am too.

[spincycle]

Why I disagree with AA

Great post, loved that. Thanks!

Flip;122934 wrote: Try looking at this....

Powerless Over Alcohol

[rottrod]

Why I disagree with AA

Hey Spin! I'm in Houston too, well Katy but close enough. I have my first appointment with doc next week, hopefully to get the Topa. I've been having some success with the program without it but yesterday was bad because I was watching the news about VA Tech and got all bummed out. My fault, should have turned it off. I felt bad about drinking but managed to get client's taxes done. Today I feel totally different and don't want to drink at all.

Have not tried AA because I like to keep my private life private. I don't do the small group thing at church either because it's just too personal. I'm very upbeat most of the time, i loathe self-pity, and totally believe I can whip this now. The cd's are very good and help me to sleep and wake up without feeling anxious about the day.

This place is a God send, it is private and encouraging if you stumble. and just think if we passed each other on the street we would not even know it!

I hope you find what you are looking for here.:welcome:

[spincycle]

Why I disagree with AA

Hey, glad to hear it. My doc wouldn't do the topa but did campral and so far so good.
I'm actually in Missouri City, but..yeah..close enough. I can't wait on my CD's, but they are shipping from Canada so hoping they come fast. I bought on ebay for cheap.
Lets keep in touch, maybe a sober outing once we have got some AF time behind us.

rottrod;123156 wrote: Hey Spin! I'm in Houston too, well Katy but close enough. I have my first appointment with doc next week, hopefully to get the Topa. I've been having some success with the program without it but yesterday was bad because I was watching the news about VA Tech and got all bummed out. My fault, should have turned it off. I felt bad about drinking but managed to get client's taxes done. Today I feel totally different and don't want to drink at all.

Have not tried AA because I like to keep my private life private. I don't do the small group thing at church either because it's just too personal. I'm very upbeat most of the time, i loathe self-pity, and totally believe I can whip this now. The cd's are very good and help me to sleep and wake up without feeling anxious about the day.

This place is a God send, it is private and encouraging if you stumble. and just think if we passed each other on the street we would not even know it!

I hope you find what you are looking for here.:welcome:

[spincycle]

Why I disagree with AA

Yeah, I felt really uncomfortable forced to share when I first walk in. Hear ya there...

tea;122987 wrote: Hi all, I also found AA to be the 'pity party' (liked that description), I also found it a bit intrusive as being more or less 'forced' to share when I wasn't comfortable doing so, members phoning me or even calling round to my house to 'support' me uninvited was way too much for me. Some folks like that but for me it was way too much.

Lorna

[headless1]

Why I disagree with AA

Yep, have to say I agree. I went to 2 "meetings" a few years back. On the second one the 'leader' who I'm sure didn't have a PHD told me I couldn't work in the restaurant biz and said I needed to find a new job. I know one of their tenents is not to make any major life changes for 1 year. So finding that a little contradictory I never went back. Also the manner in which he said it was rather crude. Still looking for a way to quit, have my ups and downs, mostly downs lately. Looking forward to spring and some changes that hopefully will include a modicum of sobriety. Well here's to spring and what it will bring.

headless

[nancy]

Why I disagree with AA

i think a lot of people here, including myself, have tried AA and didn't like it.

so don't think you are getting an objective opinion ok?

having said that, i think a lot of the tenets of AA are suspicious and contestable.

however, one thing that seems to be good is regular contact with other people
who have the same problem. that is why we like this website.

i read in a book recently that addiction, regardless of the cause, is fundamentally about
lack of connection with people, often due to mistrust. so we bond with objects, substances instead.

i think if you do something every day, whether a meeting or even a visit to this site, to improve your problem, you are doing something good. at this point, my aim is to progress almost all of the time, regardless of how little.

always move forward, if even by a tiny bit.

and if you do go to AA,look for an individual or two you like, don't look to accept the whole program. that probably won't happen.

[headless1]

Why I disagree with AA

I'd be interested in the name of the book that talks about the lack of connection with people and the mistrusting issue, thanks in advance!

Headless

[Bean]

Why I disagree with AA

I LOVED that article 'Powerless over alcohol' - made me laugh out loud in places and echoes a lot of what I feel about drinking and the AA approach. I am a great one for analysing every situation to the nth degree and trying to work out different solutions etc but there are also times when I want to just cut the cr*p and accept that this 'problem' we all have is really very simple - as the article says 'only you are responsible for the action of lifting a glass to your mouth and drinking booze'. And of course we are going to have cravings - I forget sometimes that I have them about other things as well though admittedly they are probably not things that will harm me so much as binge drinking. It's really exactly the same as dieting - people read all the books, follow the latest fads etc, always searching for the elusive elixir that will help them shed the pounds ("finally, Ive discovered, I'm fat because I'm allergic to tomatoes" - yeah right). It's a simple equation: more food in than energy out = fat. Lots of booze in = shitty physical and emotional health.
Wow, have just totally put myself off drinking for another while at least! 19 days AF today.