Does it really get easier?!

[Justme223]

Having a rough today today. Being a mommy of two girls under 4 is hard, and I don't expect them to know what I'm going through. But it's days like today that I would normally drink to relieve stress, you know have one glass of wine that would turn into finishing the whole bottle plus some beers. Or maybe it would really. Be one of those days I did fine and really only had two glasses of wine when the kids went to bed, that's amazing for me and normally I would feel so proud and use that "I have this under control thing" for the next time I wanted to drink .... But there's always that one day when I go too far, so no I'm not drinking ..... Still AF almost done with day six. What really bothers me is when I'm on Facebook, and everyone is "having wine with the girls" or "happy hour with my buddies" ahhh. I feel alone, will I ever be able to hear or read a post about alcohol without feeling left out? Does that part get easier? Thought about deactivating my fb account solely for that reason so it's not so in my face, but I know I can't stay hidden from it forever. Just wondering will that urge really ever go away??

[NoSugar]

Does it really get easier?!

Hi JustMe. I would say everything about it really does get easier. You might get off FB not because it makes you feel left out of something fun but because you realize how pathetic it is for grown women to brag about drinking. I bet some of them have a problem.

[available]

Does it really get easier?!

Hi Just and good on you for day 6. God when i stopped drinking every radio station had alcohol adds, every billboard had alcohol adds, every magazine had alcohol adds and every tv show everyone was having a drink. Im like wtf is going on but it gets easier.

I dont seem to have the AL problem with facebook which is good but i suppose you either cope with it or deactivate it and go on at a later time. I have MWO open at work and at home so i can check in and read away.

It gets easier as you go along but you always have to be on notice with AL. Lets have one drink, i can do that. No i cant, if i could do that i would not be on here.

You are doing great, keep it up and keep posting. I am up to day 38 and told me i could have done that 38 days ago and the answer would have been no way.

[aspman]

Does it really get easier?!

congratz on day 6!!!
that is the hard part done in my opinion.
in these early days you have to put yourself first, your sobriety is the most important thing you can achieve for you and your kids. in that order. It is a little like the air masks that drop in an airplane, the signs say to put on yours first then help other people. FB is the guy sitting three rows back, you have bigger fish to fry before helping that guy on with his mask

keep up the good work, day 6 is a milestone not to be underestimated.

aspy.

[bettygirl]

Does it really get easier?!

it does get easier!

I will tell you what is working for me...mwo and a support group for people who want to stop drinking. it really helps to have that face to face with others who know exactly what you are going through, along with this site's 24/7 availability. also exercise and good food (maybe some treats too). take care of yourself, this is a hard time, and you are going to "go through some stuff', but you will get over the humps and they will be fewer and far between eventually. it is sooo worth it!

peace

[about time toooo]

Does it really get easier?!

Just me. congratulations on that first bit. I agree with aspman and others that the first bit is the toughest.. and I commend you.

But I'd also like to challenge the version of easy. I think one of the reasons I drank was because I bought into many falsehoods about drink and about life. Some of life is not easy.. some is absolute crap.. but in my experience nothing about life is enhanced by drinking when a person has crossed that line into unhealthy drinking (by whichever name they call it)

Know that if you start drinking again then you have to start sobriety again and that first bit is hard.

If you had crossed that line.. and if you are changing that.. just remember that sobriety wont fix everything in your life but it is HONEST and its not DESTRUCTIVE in the way that drinking is. And that is worth fighting for in my view.

Good luck.

ATT

[Justme223]

Does it really get easier?!

Thanks everyone! I know just one day at a time, I was having a moment earlier .... Just have to keep looking forward I guess. And def need to put the first things first. I know AL is just a temporary fix.

And thanks it's about time toooo, your last sentences really struck a cord with me :thanks:

[spiderwoman]

Does it really get easier?!

I had similar issues Justme, Facebook, friends, not joining in etc. Good friends called me boring and more and it hurt, then I realised it was nothing to boast about getting fat, broke and possibly injured. I used to have a lot of "falls" when I was drinking, smashed my face up badly several times but did I learn? not a chance at the time.

In June I was summoned by my so called best friend (and ex drinking partner) to collect her from the hotel where an all day business meeting had been held; she was sitting outside propeed up against a wall helplessly drunk, fell when she tried to stand up, tore the tendons on her two middle fingers (she still can't fully use them) I realised this used to be me! I was a bit shocked she had been left in that condition to be honest but could now understand why nobody wanted responsibility for her. Fast forward a couple of months, she's left with a long term injury to her right hand; has failed to get promotion at work and failed miserably to lose weight and is generally unhappy. So yes, to an extent you miss out, but be happy to be missing out on that kind of fun.

You will start to see big changes in the condition of your skin and hair and your mood will noticeably lift. See who's missing out then. The same friend asked me to drop something off for her a few weeks ago first thing in the morning, she emailed me at work later that day to complain because I looked so well and she looked like shit at 7.30am, said it all really ...

[Nelz]

Does it really get easier?!

I am of the belief that the urges will never probably go away, but I can promise you, that it does get easier, but you have to stick with it. Every little success just breeds more success.

Keep up the good work

[Wine-no!]

Does it really get easier?!

Hi justme,
I also have two young kids and also used to drink wine to relax... Or so I thought...
I am now on day 24 and find the fb drinking statuses pathetic now! Honestly! Women approaching their 40s plastered posting nonsense statuses and photos... Ugh... Thank goodness that is not me anymore!
It does get easier.. Just concentrate on today for now.. It's a mind game!
X

[Wine-no!]

Does it really get easier?!

PS if it's annoying you, take a fb holiday. Just don't check it for a while.

[K9Lover]

Does it really get easier?!

Hi Justme!

I agree with Nelz, it never goes away, but yes, it does get MUCH easier. If it didn't, there would be very few success stories, but look around MWO and you will see how many people have conquered this Beast!

I am NOT a fan of Facebook at all...I look at it every few days because I am nosy, but I am sick of all the middle-aged women talking about going to concerts and getting sh!t-faced. It's sad, really.

Please stick close to us...we can help you get through the tough times!

[Justme223]

Does it really get easier?!

Thank you everyone for your help. I'm actually 24 so I guess maybe it's common for my friends to gloat about getting shit faced. I def feel 24 going on 40 though, I do have two kids and am a stay at home mom married to someone 9 years older. I'm just not liking what AL is doing to me .... It's not who I am, and I'm realizing I'm relying on it more and more, which is not who I want to be. Recently I got myself into a bad situation and it's so strange because I KNOW that's not who I am. The sober me is now having to deal with what the drunk me did. And it's hard. But each day coming here I am learning new ways to cope and be stronger sober :thanks:

[DriftyAlison0]

Does it really get easier?!

Yes the longer you go the easier it will get. Just take it ODAAT. I still get urges every now and then, but I can easily fight them off and there are days when I don't even think of alcohol.

[Byrdlady]

Does it really get easier?!

Wine-No, you bring up a great point...we've had several folks thru the years get on here (MWO) after they'd had a few. They said they had succumbed because they needed to relax and unwind...however, thru the course of the evening you could see them getting more and more agitated, depressed and anxious...by the end of the evening they were anything BUT relaxed, they were in total despair!! So in my humble opinion, our definition of relaxing just needs to be overhauled. Now at the end of a very trying day, I'm looking forward to a bubble bath and an Arby's brisket sandwich I already picked up! I'm going to watch the news!! I'm going to go to bed when I'm tired and not pass out on the couch. ALL of my rituals and definitions are changing, for the better. I do FB too, and like Wine-No, I think it's pathetic to see every occasion centered around AL. I know for a fact that a couple of these women have AL issues, if not all of them. After all, birds of a feather you know!! When I was a heavy drinker I sure didn't want to hang with a bunch of lightweights that might make me feel bad! Misery loves company...and it loves miserable company.

After I was sober about a year, I wondered if I would EVER get to a point where AL wasn't nagging me in one way or another. It was just always constantly back there....aching to resurface....I am very happy to report that after 2 years, this longing has totally faded....now that I am approaching 3 years, the only times I think about it are when I'm trying to think of a topic to post in the Newbie's Nest for morale purposes. A thought is just a thought....I do NOT have to act on it. I know that one drink will wake the beast up again, and I'm just done with all that. DONE!

There are a couple things you can do to help yourself. Turn the deprivation thinking into one of GRATITUDE. I know it sounds foo-foo, but it's true....it's all a matter of perspective. If you feel like you are being punished then you are going to be resentful. However, if you feel like you are freeing yourself of a debilitating ball and chain one day at a time, then it really helps. I NEVER LONG for AL anymore, I HATE it. I hate it for what it's done to me and my friends here. I do not want it in my life ever again....but all this takes time. Just like when ending any other important relationship...you must give time, time. You will get there. Don't look back!! Always go forward!!

PM me anytime if I can help you!! Or just give a shout in the Newbies nest, that's where I hang out. All the best to you!! Byrdie